farmland

So, I'd like to say that I pride myself on being a city girl - typically, I love the city. I love the giant buildings, the craziness of all the people rushing around, the wall to wall stores and shops, all of the smells of a city, the access to just about anything that comes with being in a city, the different "sides" of a city (downtown side, artsy side, touristy side, business side) and lots of other things. I have never lived in a city, but someday, I would like to.

However, despite my love for the city and desire to be a part of one, I think there's a special place in my heart for farmland. I drove around for a while this afternoon as I had a lot of thinking to take care of. If you don't know me that well, know that about me. I think a lot. Too much at times. As I was doing this, I was driving all over the town I grew up in. I have lived here in Wisconsin, which is full of farms for almost my entire life. As I was driving today, I saw things that brought a smile to my face. Silly things that most people wouldn't think twice about, but for some reason, I found endearing. A house with clothes out on a clothes line. Fields of stalks. A really strange looking scarecrow. Wagons filled with pumpkins for sale. Cows roaming about. I don't know... It just felt so great driving around through this landscape. Granted, cities are pretty cool, but it doesn't have the same feel when it comes to driving through it as this sort of atmosphere...

So, maybe I'm a city girl. Maybe I'm a country girl. Maybe it just means that I find joys in each of those surroundings. It'll be interesting to see where I head though once I move out next spring/summer. The city sounds so exciting, yet there's something so comforting about surburbia. Who knows...

spam

Sorry folks, but due to spam comments, I've added a word verifcation function to my blog. I didn't want to only because it makes commenting a little annoying, but the spam comments are even more annoying. So, I hope you all continue to comment! Don't let the man get you down!

Um, it just felt right saying that there...

stupidity, swings, & saying goodbye

It was a night of stupidity, swings, & saying goodbye.

My evening started out with a good friend of mine. She had a massive craving for Grasshopper Fudge ice cream - the flavor of the day at good old Kopps. After her cone took a spill to the floor, and she purchased another, we made our way into a bizarre evening. I was in the mood for taking pictures, so we wandered around Waukesha taking random shots... Found ourselves at Target where I bought four different colored lightbulbs so that we could play with light in our photo adventures. We then made our way over to Starbucks to visit a friend working the overnight shift. It was there we engaged in a coloring contest with I swear the fattest crayons I have EVER colored with. Our evening was topped off with great boy-band music to which we created ridiculous dance moves... The best one being to O-Town's "All Or Nothing" (we had some killer dance moves and hand motions, I tell ya).

On the way home, I took a night drive as I often do when I have lots of thoughts in my head. Night drives are the best... Windows rolled down, good tunes, and brilliant stars out on back country roads. As I was driving, I started to think about how much fun I had had during the evening, and that it was an evening of sheer stupidity. We did things we never would have done normally, but didn't care that it was utterly ridiculous that we were doing it. It was the best feeling - kind of freeing and liberating. I was trying to imagine what else felt like that, and it hit me - swings. I absolutely adore swings. I'm 25 and still love to swing on them. There's something so childlike about it, yet, so theraputic. I don't know what it is. Something about them just makes everything that's bad in life seem to disappear. When you're up in the top position of swinging, you can see so much farther than in a ground position. I don't know... My night just seemed like flat out, childhood bliss, like swinging on swings.

When I got home, my night became a little more sobering. The sheer stupidity came to a halt, and I needed to shift into "adult" mode. I received an email from a friend which required a lot of processing on my behalf. I wrote a novel of an email back to this friend of mine, and while I was writing, I realized just how hard it is to say goodbye - especially when neither person involved were the cause of the goodbye. When an outside force causes two people to have to say goodbye to everything that once was, it almost seems harder than if it was brought on by one or the other. I don't deal well with change, and this is one change I strongly did not want to admit to... But it's very possible that saying goodbye to a certain situation has become a necessary evil. I'm not sure where things will go from here...

Well, I suppose it's pretty late - my little computer clock says 1:40. It's been a while since I've been up this late...
I promise to have a more uplifting and positive post soon. I just needed to do a little processing tonight.
Thanks for bearing with me.

Night y'all.

clean-out

It's that time of year... Well, maybe not to the rest of the world, but in the life of the Wisconsin Dolan's, it sure is. Clean-out time. And not just of all the junk that has accumulated within our house, but other ways as well. As I'm sitting here, taking a little break (ok, procrastinating a little) on gutting out my room - a much needed process - in preparation for a fresh coat of primer and paint next weekend, I've been thinking about a "clean-out" in other areas too. My dad is going to do a detox thing, where all he eats are raw fruits and vegetables, along with supplimental shakes. He is doing that for 21 days to get out all of the horrible chemicals we put into our bodies every day. My mom has to change what she eats as well, so the Dolan pantry/refridgerator/cupboard will look drastically different in the next few weeks - lots of natural and organic foods. And I gladly welcome the change. A "clean-out" of my system is well needed, and welcomed.

I'm also trying to do a "clean-out" in a leisure sense. Didn't know you had a leisure sense, did you? Who knows why I just typed that... It just came out. Anyway, I have gotten into a nasty habit of watching way too much television, and spending way too much time on my computer just futzing around. I'm not saying that either of these in and of themselves are wrong in any way, but too much of anything is not a good thing. So, as school begins today which kind of feels like a "new beginning" - new class schedule, new work schedule - I am going to try to do a "clean-out" of things that I don't necessarily feel are a good use of all my time. Oh, every so often is fine. I mean, I have to do the usual blogging and check my email every so often. And of course, there's at least one or two TV shows I'll want to watch (24 in January can't come soon enough!). But I'm hoping to spend my time doing the things I love and should be doing, but am just not disciplined enough to get off my lazy butt an do.

We shall see where this new "clean-out" leads me. I'm hoping it'll prove a significant change, and hopefully a more productive semester. I'm excited for a new schedule and the changes ahead.

1000

I realize this post will probably sound a bit narcissistic, but I just thought I'd share my excitement - I've reached 1000 profile views. I know that sounds lame, but it actually means that I have a fair amount of readers out there. Unless there's some weirdo out there who just keeps checking it 50x a day to see if I've changed anything. Hehehe...

Anyway, I realize that there's quite a few of you from all over the states. It'd be awesome to see where everyone is from! So, if you read this on a semi-regular basis, post a comment and let me know where you're from! Let's see how many different states we can get!

fancies

I feel as though I'm being a jerk for not writing about the Katrina disaster at all... My thoughts are still really jumbled about it, still processing, and to be honest, I have had so many different discussions, thoughts, and news stories thrown at me that I'm not even sure I could regurgitate something worthwhile at this point.

So instead, I shall start the first of the many thoughts I had while traveling out east this past week - that which I fancy. Two things in particular: children's bookstores and photography.

Children's bookstores... There aren't many that exist, at least none where I live. While in Cambridge, MA I came across this amazing Curious George themed children's bookstore. It was amazing! I fell in love with it instantly. It had books galore, toys, stuffed animals, little corners with fun carpets for little kids to sit on while they read, and a staircase that lead to downstairs treasures for the older kiddies. I could have spent hours in there. So many books and toys to look at! I found an amazing copy of the entire Chronicles of Narnia, and tons of books that I read as a kid like Ramona Quimby books, and Nancy Drew (but alas, no Bobsey Twins). Needless to say, this place was sheer heaven... Now, this may sound weird to some of you who don't know me. I don't know why, maybe it's my love for little kids and the fact that I love to watch them read, learn, imagine, and dream... Maybe it's because I've always been a sucker for cartoons and moral stories, but there is something so wonderful about children's books, and even more wonderful when they're all in once place. While I was in this bookstore, I had such a great desire to open up my own children's bookstore. This is not a new idea - I've shared it with a few people before. But this time, I even said, "Maybe I should start to take some business classes..." If you know even a little bit about me, this is HUGE because I'm not a business person in the slightest. But I'd consider becoming one if it meant I could open up my own bookstore... How amazing would that be?

Photography... While on vacation, one typically partakes in taking pictures of where one stays. I too participated in this vacation tradition, only, I didn't want to document where I was as much as I wanted to get some really artistic shots. Granted, I did not get as many as I would have hoped, but I got a few that I was pretty excited about. Over the past couple of days, I've been checking out some different Flickr accounts. I belong to a group of people who are readers of Relevant Magazine, and I must say, I'm totally impressed with their photography skills. So amazing... Some of them are absolutely genious. I have become greatly inspired to take better pictures... The one thing I'm struggling with though is how to find great subjects. Some of these pictures, I think to myself "I'm never in a situation where I could take a picture like that." For instance, I don't have any surfer friends, I don't know anyone who teaches ballet or has a little girl taking ballet, I don't know any good graffiti spots... I know, I know... I just have to hunt a little more, and become a little bit more bold with taking pictures. But I must say that over the past few days, I have become TOTALLY inspired to take more pictures, and to learn how to be a better photographer. Any tips would be greatly welcomed.

Those are my current "fancies". Just thought I'd share them for the moment... More thoughts to come in the next few days.

home

Well folks, at 8:30 this evening, my feet crossed the threshold of my house. Praise the Lord! Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love to travel. Boston and Washington DC were great, and I had a lot of fun, but this time around there was something so great about coming home. And here I am. Home.

The next few days should prove to be relaxing and exciting... I don't have a ton planned which is great, and then a Labor Day picnic with my sister-in-law's family. Fun times, fun times.

I had some thoughts during my travels that I found myself too tired to write about, but hopefully I'll be able to convey some of those ideas in the days to come. Thanks to all of you who continue to read my blog... You have more patience than I could ever have! hehehe...

Have a good night one and all.

DC

Today, we hit DC. There aren’t any great stories about the things we saw or the things we did today. We did almost all of the main spots on the mall and past the mall… The only thing we didn’t get to see that we wanted to was the tomb of the unknown soldier. Anyway, I’ll just let you look at some fun pictures I took. These are only a few of the 250 that I took – how crazy is that? Needless to say, the girl I am on this trip with probably wasn’t too happy because I was ALWAYS taking pictures. But here’s just a couple of the things we saw:



We started and ended with the capitol… This was at the beginning of our walk.



This was a scary sculpture we found as we were walking through the National Gallery of Art Sculpture Garden.



Here is a piece of art made out of tiles that I thought was kinda cool.



TONS of geese in the reflecting pool…



This is one of my favorite memorials – the Korean War Memorial. I thought this was kind of a fun angle, even though the statues faces are a little creepy.



This is the White House and the back of a tent where a woman has camped out in protest of the war. I believe that she had a son who died in the war, and I thought her signs were kind of interesting…

10

All the fun had thus far in Boston came to a screeching halt this morning. Now, mind you, we’re back on track as we just checked into our Hyatt Hotel in DC (can you believe we’re in a Hyatt? SO FUN!) We just ordered a pizza, are watching Friends, and enjoying the fancy atmosphere… However, this morning, we were singing a sadder tune.

Around 9:30 this morning, I was going to pull the car around so that we could pack our stuff, check out and hit the road kind of early. However, come to find, my keys were nowhere to be found. I searched through everything but to no avail. I found nothing. I thought maybe I had locked them in the trunk. The night before, I had retrieved a few items out of the car, and with my arms full, I thought maybe I forgot to take them with me. Because I couldn’t find my keys, I had no other choice than to call a locksmith to see if indeed they were in the trunk. The locksmith showed up, unlocked my car, and I crawled into the trunk to unlatch it, only to find my trunk absent of my keys. I had no idea what in the world to do… And so, we decided to have a key made. Oh what an ordeal that was! We had to find out what the number combination was for cutting the key. I called Saturn Customer Service, I talked to a guy in the parts department, and five keys later, the locksmith finally had to call a dealership to get the right key combo. No one would give us the right number, The locksmith told me that it was intentional so that Saturn (or GM) would be the ones to get money. Anyway, this whole process took about 4 hours, and oodles of money… Let’s just say that when 2:30 hit, and we were in our car leaving Boston, I breathed a sigh of relief… Our only hope was that we would have no problem getting to DC.

And it was so… No problems. We made it to DC without getting lost! So great! Typically, I am really good at navigating and reading maps, but New England is a tad difficult to figure out – especially Boston. Once we got outside of MA, we were good to go. We drove through The Bronx (which was really the only city we were able to identify). We drove over what I’d like to believe (until we learn otherwise) was the Brooklyn Bridge (such an awesome bridge to drive over). Drove through Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland… And I’m happy to say we hit our tenth state of the trip today, not including Wisconsin obviously. 10. Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Massechusettes, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland.
All but Illinois and Indiana were a new experience for me…

So, no pictures today. I tried to snap a picture of the locksmith van as I was completely bored sitting in a crazy hot parking garage, but it didn’t really turn out. And we didn’t get any good driving shots. Ya’ll will have to wait until tomorrow, but I promise to have some good ones. We’re headed to all the “hot spots” of DC tomorrow. Our hotel is just down the street from the Mall, so we’re good to go.

Hope all is well with you all.
Rock on my friends.

sites

(forewarning – LONG POST!)

Destinations: Salem and Harvard. We started out the morning by grabbing breakfast at this awesome little café down the street from our hotel – the Paris Creperie. It is this small café with Paris photographs, faux Eiffel towers with Christmas lights all over the place. Each individual table has a funky little lamp on it too… Great atmosphere. Great food. After we grabbed our morning crepes and one of the best cups of soy chai I think I’ve ever had, we made our second attempt at driving in Boston. We were a tad frightened because our drive in was not entirely pleasant, however, we were greatly surprised at how much we had already come to understand how the city worked, and found it not that difficult to maneuver around.

The first place we headed was Salem. It wasn’t entirely what we had imagined, but we enjoyed ourselves anyway. We did the Salem Witch Museum – if any of you are planning a trip to Salem, the Salem Witch Museum is not really worth the $6.50 for the presentation – it was pretty weak. However, at least we hit one of the “attractions”. We walked around down Essex street past the Peabody Essex Museum, and just kind of checked out the town at our own pace. We came across a few buildings of importance. The first being the first church which was built in 1692. The second is Town Hall, which is pictured below:



Also, and this goes out to Chris my northern neighbor – saw this sign, and I HAD to take a picture… PAMPLEMOUSSE!



After Salem, we decided we wanted to see Harvard. We made our way back to Cambridge, and were quite unsuccessful in finding parking. Due to the nature of the city, driving around finding parking was not a fun task. We saw that the red line subway was in the center of the city, and knew that there was a stop for the red line really close to our hotel. So, we headed back to the hotel to park the car, hopped the red line, and headed down to Harvard.

Harvard was so beautiful… We totally just soaked in the atmosphere, and even attempted to look like we were students. We found one of their many libraries (pictured below) and attempted to get in, but found that you need to have a student ID to get in. Blasted!



We headed to a Harvard gift shop, picked up some souvies (mine included a hat/T-shirt combo), and walked around Cambridge. We went to a Curious George themed children’s bookstore which only confirmed my dream and desire to open a children’s bookstore (I’ll save that story for another post). We were soon met by a downpour of rain. Finding ourselves to feel like drown rats, we sought shelter from the rain in an au bon pain shop, where we ate fruit and waited out the rain. After that we hit “The Coop”, another Harvard associated bookstore/gift shop. After hanging around town for a while, we finally decided to head back. Before we got back on the subway, I took this shot of Cambridge at night… Not sure what it’s of, exactly, but thought it looked cool. Someone then asked us directions to the Coop, and we were actually able to give them! We felt like Bostonians!



Finally, we headed back to our side of town, and headed out to dinner. We had decided earlier in the day that we needed to eat East Coast Sea Food. Despite the fact that I’m not a huge seafood fan, I thought, what the heck, I’ll give it a go. We had seen the Oyster House last night, and thought it’d be a great place to go. Little did we know that it is the oldest restaurant in America, and has some of the greatest food. The atmosphere rocked, and our food was unbelievable. I had pan seared haddock that was so yummy – and for me to say that about fish is a HUGE thing. All in all, great day! Loved it… Tomorrow, we head to DC… Good times had by all.

self-tour

We walked around Boston today, just checking out the town. After a stop at the Starbucks across the street from our hotel, we headed out to check things out, not having a CLUE as to where anything was. We quickly found ourselves in front of the State building, where tour trolleys pick up people for tours of the city. Sarah and I, while trying to avoid looking like tourists, figured what better way to see the city since we didn't know our way around. However, when the driver of the trolley told us that it was $28, we were like, "Um, we'll think about it." We figured we could probably figure out a decent self-tour. He did however leave us with a parting gift, which became our treasured item of the day - a map of all the sites that we would have see on the tour. We were set for the day...



The first thing we came across is this first picture - Boston Common. All these little kids were playing in the fountain, and I found myself with a deep desire to just sit and watch their uninhibited playful spirits. We watched all the people enjoying their Sunday afternoon, and then continued on our way.



The next thing we came across - the Public Gardens. It was so beautiful. There were trees, flowers, statues and fountains everywhere. I took a bunch of pictures while at the gardens, but this one was my favorite. Now, if you were to ask me what the monument was actually for, I'm not sure that I would be able to tell you... But I just really loved this statue for some reason.

We went saw the original Cheers, some amazing churches, went to a pretty cool local bookstore/cafe, and ate at Stephanie's on Newberry, this semi-fancy restaurant where we had Sunday brunch on the patio. A great relaxing afternoon. Unaware of just how early things shut down in Boston on Sundays (most everything is closed by 7pm), we headed towards Quincy Market for dinner and evening activities. We got there just as things were starting to close down, but were lucky enough to have SOME entertainment - the Yo-Yo Man. This young guy was out in the square, doing yo-yo tricks. He attracted quite a crowd. While my initial thought was, "This is kind of cheesy" the guy was pretty humorous, and it was actually a pretty entertaining show. And all the little kids adored him! It was so cute! Here's a picture of him doing one of his tricks:



Because most things were shut down, Sarah and I decided to eat some dinner in our hotel, and make it a night to just relax in the hotel wathing movies. All in all - a very relaxing day. Lots of things to see, lots of pictures taken, great food, great sites (the architecture here is gorgeous)...

Tomorrow should prove to be pretty fun... I'll post more tomorrow about the MA happenings. Ok, I'm going to take off. I feel like I should have some sort of "sign off" signature, like "Seacrest Out". Any suggestions?

MA

Here we are. Boston.

Yesterday, my friend Sarah and I packed my car, and headed out east. We left around 4am on Saturday morning, and after a few confusing directions by Yahoo maps, over $30 in unexpected tolls, and a crazy goosechase to try to find our hotel, we finally settled into our hotel by 1am Sunday morning, I can finally say WE'RE HERE! LOOOOOOOOOONG drive, but we made it.

We have the next couple of days to wander around MA... Check out Harvard, Quincy Market, Salem... Not sure what we'll do when, but hopefully it'll be a fun couple days of relaxing. Then, onto DC for a couple days.

I'll check in every so often and maybe even post a picture or two.
Hope all is well with everyone else out there.

Rock on my friends.

freakish

why am I so intrigued, enthralled, energized, mystified, captured, whatever word you so choose to use, by something that is so utterly freakish and destructive?

I decided to seize the opportunity to write right now, in a moment of inspiration, of pure energy...

If you don't already know this about me, I'm obsessed with thunderstorms. Ever since I was a little kid when I had my very own weather station in a tree (of all places!), I've had this astounding fascination with storms. I'm not entirely sure why... While for most, sunshine brings happiness and joy, thunderstorms energize me. Seriously, I'm like a small child on Christmas morning when they come. Unfortunately we haven't had any really good storms this summer. And I'm totally bummin'.

I would, however, like to take this moment to make a disclaimer/apology. I realize that storms are immensely destructive, and have caused lots of families major heartache. That is the one thing that sickens me about my love for storms - that they are such destructive things. However, in some respects, I love it because it's only a small ounce of the amount of power that God has, and that to me is an absolutely fabulous thing to behold.

About 10 minutes ago, I wandered outside amidst a very eery setting. The sky was this mad shade of orange. I took a picture of it... of course, it doesn't really do it justice, but you can see a small sliver of blue through the crazy orange clouds. Within 10 minutes, the sky shifted to a midnight blue with purplish hues, about the fastest I have ever seen the sky change colors. Granted, I have seen storms roll in pretty fast, but that's just going from light to dark, cloudless to cloudy... these were completely different colors. WILD! Right now, it's very very still... I can only hear the hum of the power lines, and the slight chirping of crickets. Every so often, a quiet rumbling in the distance, and I can hear the weather station on the television downstairs... but these sounds are muted against the deafening silence that's outside right now. Usually, silence is so overlooked. But in a situation where you'd expect noise to abound, to have silence, it's unavoidably noticable.

My mom was watching the weather... I live in a city about 45 minutes outside of Madison, one of Wisconsin's largest cities. They were saying that a man at the local mall was picking up falling debris... It was mail, actual letters, that were addressed with Madison addresses. Baseball cards, bills, letters... all of these things, the storm had picked up and carried with it. I guess 12 houses were ruined about a half an hour from here. They were showing 6 different tornadoes on the radar.

And yet, all we have is silence.

I suppose I should be grateful. I mean, I could have been one of those people who's house was destroyed. I'm not wishing for that by any means. The wind has started to pick up a little, but still, now that it is dark, you would never know that there was a storm coming. It's silent, and still. I hope to see a great light show and the mighty roar of the sky, but that may just not happen. For now, I'll just continue to sit by my window, and let the pre-storm atmosphere linger in my room...

I'll try to post a picture later on this evening, and let you know if the storm ever unleashed it's wrath.

missed

I'm sitting here listening to Sigur Ros, and thinking about how much I miss playing the piano. Not having a piano to play is not the main reason why I am saddened that I no longer have a "church home", but I realized about a month ago, not only will I no longer have a church to call home, but I will not have a piano at my disposal any time I so choose to play. Before, when I was feeling a bit sad, pensive, or just musically inclined, I'd head on over to my church and play my little heart out. God bless them for giving me church keys. No one around, with only one overhead light on, it became a hideout of sorts... I could play as loudly or softly as I desired... I could play the same song as many times as I wanted... I could even let my voice squeak a few notes out, with no one around to hear it... I loved it. Playing songs by ear, playing songs I created, or just sitting in front of the black and white keys... Nothing used to calm my nerves, eat away at my frustration, and jumpstart my creative energy like playing the piano... and I miss it.

and I simply must say, I'm incredibly addicted to
"Saeglópur" by Sigur Ros. all of their songs are
so beautiful, but this is my new favorite.
a bit more upbeat than stuff off their ( ) album.
but beautiful.

I gotta find a piano somewhere...

plug

Ok... so this may be a shameless plug for people whose creativity and talents I admire, and whom I have appreciated knowing over the years, but if you're looking for any new worship tunes, you should check out both of these albums, as they are amazing.

"Changed" - Music at Mars Hill
This album features the writing styles of Aaron Neiquist and Troy Hatfield, both great singer/songwriters.
You can download songs from this album at:
www.musicatmars.com

"You Are Here" - Cindy Beier
Cindy is a good friend of mine, and this is her debut album. She sings a few originals, a song written by Troy Hatfield, and even a couple beautifully arranged old hymns. You can pick up her album here:
www.cindybeier.com

These two albums have been pretty consistently playing on my iPod, and I highly suggest checking them out.
Thanks.

cornucopia

it's hip.
it's in.
it's the new lingo.

Cornucopia.

I was at a Blockbuster store the other night renting a movie with my friend. The young gentleman behind the counter had a pleasant demeanor, but was borderline over-the-top. With a cheesy smile, he assured us we had picked a winner of a movie, and would be thoroughly satisfied. Not only were we taking home a great theatrical treat, but along with our movie, we would be receiving a cornucopia of coupons. Yes, this is actually what he said. Cornucopia of coupons. I even questioned him to make sure I heard him right, and he assured me he had used the term correctly. I could have cared less about whether he had actually used it correctly. It was the fact that he had used it at all.

So like I said. It's hip. It's in. It's the new lingo.
Use it as often as you can.
I tried to get the word "slick" to catch on,
and I tried to get "towncat" to be the new hip phrase.
Both failed miserably.
But I have faith.
Cornucopia will prevail.
It's gonna be hot.

Just remember, you heard it here first.

project

Quick post once again about the music playlist project...

I've gotten a pretty good list started, but could still use more suggestions. In case you missed the original post, here's the plan: I am making a "Blog" playlist. I'm taking a suggestion from anyone who wants to contribute one, and creating a playlist with those songs. Here again are the rules:

1.) Keep the vulgarity to a minimum if possible.
2.) It has to be accessible through iTunes.
I don't download "free" MP3s, and I don't have the money to buy a full album for one song.
3.) You must attach your name to the post with the song
4.) Please choose just ONE song!

Thanks to those of you who already contributed (and especially to those who were disciplined enough to only pick one song). The list is pretty unique, and should be pretty interesting.

But the list needs more song! So suggest away, my friends!

velvet elvis

I recently just read a book entitled "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. Now, Rob Bell has this tendency to shake up, and reshape my thinking... and I love it.

Faith: Brick wall, or trampoline? If you pull one brick out of the wall, will the rest of it tumble? Or a spring that when pulled, has some stretching room? A wall that is dependent upon each brick, or a spring that is merely supportive?

Heaven: A place we will eventually arrive at? Or a place we were designed to bring to earth. "On earth as it is in heaven..." If we have the cabability to bring heaven to earth, we must also then have the ability to bring hell to earth... Hell on earth... Sound familiar? What if we tried making it more like heaven?

Evangelism: We always talk about how we need to take Jesus to another country. China. India. Iraq. South Africa. England. France. Russia. Why? Is he missing in those countries? Or is more about journeying together, and recognizing his already existent presence everywhere?

These are some of the ideas that are present in Velvet Elvis. Keep in mind, I'm just skimming the surface. One of the greatest things about this book are all the questions. Yes, questions. And unanswered ones at that. Rob Bell talks about how so often, we're afraid to ask questions. We're afraid to let God in on what our hearts really want to know, what we really want to ask. In this book, he challenges us to ask those questions - no matter what.

I've written a review for Relevant magazine that can be found at this address: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=7000 Or you can click on the title of this post. It has some quotes from the book, and where you can get more info on it. I highly recommend checking it out...

Not everything in the book sits well with me. It's not supposed to. They're someone elses questions, not mine. But I have found myself with a lot of the same questions on my tongue... Glad to know I'm not alone.

And on a side note... No I do not work for Rob Bell, I'm not related to Rob Bell, I don't even know Rob Bell, nor do I worship him. I appreciate his gift of communication the way someone might appreciate a painter, a musician, a writer, a movie maker... when someone communicates something that resonates deep within my being, I'm appreciative.

And I like to share.

new idea

As I was publishing my last post, an idea occured to me. Now, I don't know that I can afford this idea... Granted, I really don't have THAT many people who visit this blog, but who knows - if people get really into it, I could be in trouble. But I want to try it anyway.

I'm going to make a Blog Mix I think. So here's the plan... Post one of your favorite songs or just a song you'd like to share with me because you think I might like it, or you just really really love it. Here's a couple rules though:

1.) Keep the vulgarity to a minimum if possible.
2.) It has to be accessible through iTunes.
I don't download "free" MP3s, and I don't have the money to buy a full album for one song.
3.) You must attach your name to the post with the song
4.) Please choose just ONE song!

Then, after a while I will collect all the songs and compile a new list. It'll be cool, I think - really random! But it'll be a collection of a bunch of different tastes and styles across the board. Like, I might get some metal or hard core music from a Canadian Bomber-lovin' boy, some killer beats from an Illinois graphic designer, a hip hop suggestion from a Cub-lovin' Eminem fan, something mellow and meaningful from a Family Feud contestant, or something I hadn't even thought of from a Texan translator! We'll see...

Be creative! Think of a cool song to add to the Blog Mix.
Let the fun begin.

uscs mix

So, work is getting a bit tough to trudge through... Don't get me wrong, I am entirely grateful for the fact that I have a well paying job, that they are willing to work around my school schedule, and I'm not even working 40 hours a week this summer. I'm even MORE grateful that in a mere 3 weeks, I have vacation and once that is over with, I will be back to a school schedule. Rock on for that.

However, I still have three weeks to make it through at work, and I thought to myself that maybe a new playlist would help. I've made it through all of my current playlists way too many times. Therefore, it was high time I put together a new playlist with some newly acquired music.

And I share that list with you:

Bad Reputation - Senses Fail (Joan Jett version n/a on iTunes - sadness)
Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack
Cross My Heart - The Rocket Summer
Sound of Settling - Death Cab for Cutie
Crazy Mary - FM Static
Sidewalks - Story of the Year
Permanent - Acceptance
Square One - Coldplay
Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Progress - Mute Math
The City Lights - The Umbrellas
Constellations - Jack Johnson
If There Is I Haven't Found It Yet - Reindeer Section
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
Wires - Athlete
Day By Day - Five For Fighting (dug this CD out of the "old tunes" pile)
Today Was A Good Day - Jason Hartwell
When The Stars Go Blue - Tyler Hilton & Bethany Joy Lenz
Son's Gonna Rise - Citizen Cope & Santana
Blackbird - Eros

So far, I dig this mix... We'll see how it goes though. Hoping it'll get me through the next three week. Then, three weeks, I'm headed to Boston (God-willing) for a roadtrip. I'm headed out there with my good friend Sarah and hopefully we'll create a good mix. It's always more fun to create a playlist with someone else - especially when memories are attached. So that should rock... Then, I'll have to create some new school mixes. There's a lot of good albums coming out soon, so hopefully I'll have new tunes. Word on the street is, Death Cab for Cutie has a new album August 30th, David Crowder towards the end of September, Sneaker Pimps are sometime soon, Postal Service is rumored to have something coming out in the near future... And has anyone heard about the new Jimmy Eat World? I heard something a while back, but no idea if that's any time soon...

Alright, that's all for now. More good tunes to come.

baby city

Ok, so the top picture is a picture of Angelo Novelli. He was born three weeks ago. The second picture is Carter & Enzo Novelli - twin brothers that were just born on Thursday. Jack Sundstedt is due any day now.

My friend Cindy released her first CD this evening, and held a concert to kick off the release. While I was there, it was baby city. Not only did quite a few people (most of whom I didn't know) have babies, a lot of people were expecting as well. And then the Novelli family is blessed with 3 babies, and other babies are on the way: Sundstedt Baby (come on Jack!) and my friends Vicky and Laurie are pregnant too - Baby Brown and Baby James... Babies all over the place! So great though... I love 'em. I have to say that seeing so many families, and spending time with my friend's kids makes me long so badly to be a wife and mom. I have no idea if this is the plan God has in store for me, but I sure hope so. I look at these new little lives, and I hear my friends talk about their love for their kids and the miracle of watching them be born, and it makes me hope and pray that I get to experience even one ounce of the joy they are experiencing. Who knows... Maybe I'll only be blessed with getting to be an aunt at some point in the future.

Whatever the case, I'm enjoying baby city! They're so cute, and so much fun to have around! YAY for Angelo, Enzo, and Carter who are already here, and for Jack, Baby Brown, and Baby James who are on the way!

community

Warning: Large amounts of unprocessed thoughts to ensue

This week I was able to be a part of an amazing community. I worked at a youth conference down in Wheaton, IL with some of the coolest people in the world. But as I began to think about the week, I realized how much healthy community was lacking in my life, and I began to realize just how vital community is to one's spiritual journey.

For the past 9 months, I have not been attending the church I was a part of for the past 5 years. Until this past week, I hadn't taken communion in almost a year. And I have never felt the effects of my situation more than I have this week. I was brought to tears a couple times throughout the week about just how far away God feels. I was talking with a friend of mine, telling him that I'm not angry with God, I still desire to learn about Him, and I hate feeling the way I do, but I can't help it. God feels so far away, and I believe a good part of it is because I do not have a community that I belong to.

I have a small group made up of 7 other individuals. Each of them have been burned by the same thing I have, so we're not the most encouraging to one another. It's a little tough when everyone in the group goes through the same thing - there's no outside perspective, no outside energy to lift each other up. So while I have that "community" it's not the healthiest situation. We don't challenge each other the way we ought. We don't encourage each other the way we ought. And we definitely don't teach each other the way we ought. I'm not even sure we love each other the way that we ought.

This feels a bit like just a bunch of ramblings. And I suppose that's what this is... however, I've just been thinking a lot about how vital community is, and how drastically one's heart can change if not plugged into a healthy one. I know that in time, I will find another community. I know that this feeling of distance between God and I will eventually become less and less of a gap. But for now, it's definitely uncomfortable. It makes me uneasy, unsettled, and frustrated. These feelings of a sub-par relationship with God (which I know will never be perfect, but I know can be better than what it is) weighs heavily on my brain, and I pray that change is around the corner.

Thanks for listening to my thoughts, fears and frustrations.
Sometimes they're written out of intense emotion, but at the same time, it's how I feel, you know?

More ponderings to follow...

m.i.a.

It's been a bit since I last posted, and may indeed be a while until I post again. I am about an hour away from leaving to go down to Wheaton, IL to work my 4th summer at SEMP (Students Equipped to Minister to Peers - it's a youth conference). Both excitement and nerves have hit my stomach, and my stomach is unsure how to digest them. Lots of changes this year... Both of my sidekicks are gone (I will most definitely miss my music buddy and everything that I learn from Aaron, and I will for sure miss my roomie with whom I have late night talks and laughs with)...Another friend will be missing this year - Jarred - and OH how I will miss his laughs (so unbelievably contageous!). Also, a little rearranging of leadership - I will be working under my brother for the first time ever. We haven't around each other this long (a week) since I was probably 12. Also, our shepherd for the week - Mark - is waiting on pins and needles for his wife who is due with twins any day. And there are a whole mess of new comers to the game this year. So lots of changes... But I'm anticipating great things. Great challenges, but great rewards as well. I'll try to post if I can...

But I just thought I'd give you all a heads up as to where I was so you didn't think I was MIA.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, and listen to my inconsistent ramblings.

Rock on, my friends.

an awakening

The G8 summit has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I wrote an article at Relevant called "An Awakening" where I discuss some of these thoughts... You can read it at the link below, or click on the title of this post. People have the ability to post their thoughts on the article as well as the issue at hand, so if you want to check out what other people are thinking, you can pop over there...

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=6782

This morning I thought a lot about Tony Blair and London, but the day slowly distracted me until I forgot about it. It wasn't until I got home tonight, and was like, "Oh my gosh... How horrible of me to have forgotten..." I'm still amidst processing it all, and will post more about it when it's not 2am in the morning.

So much going on in the world, it can be a bit overwhelming at times.

happy fourth

Fourth of July. Came quickly this year. I have to say, this is my favorite non-religious holiday. Granted, there aren't a TON of non-religious holidays, but this one is by far my favorite. You can have St. Patricks Day (and I'm even incredibly Irish), you can have Valentines Day, you can have Thanksgiving (that sounds terrible, doesn't it?), you can have pretty much any other holiday, but The Fourth of July is mine.

I'm a fireworks junkie. Oddly enough, I didn't make it to any fireworks displays this year. I was able to watch them from a field, watching four different counties all in the horizon. Our next door neighbors were setting them off. But I didn't actually make it to an official fireworks display. While I could have carried on with my own tradition (I have a secret spot where I watch them from my car), I just didn't have the "umph" to go. But I would still consider myself a fireworks junkie. I have no idea why I'm so utterly fascinated with colorful flames in the sky... It's like waves - I'm completely fascinated by water tumbling over itself. There's something just so magical about fireworks. I love them. If I ever have the ability to be proposed to, I think it would ROCK to be proposed to under fireworks...Just a total side thought there. I remember I went to a friend's wedding, and as we were leaving the reception, and bursting before us were huge fireworks. Amazing.

I hope that everyone had a happy forth, filled with fun and fireworks.

war of the worlds

What can I say... After all these years, Stevie still has the magic. This movie exceeded my expectations (I tried to keep them low because of all the buzz about it, and it being a "summer blockbuster"), shocked me in multiple ways, and renewed my hope in movie magic. I know, I know, that's putting a lot of weight on this movie. But I think it's worth it.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, therefore I won't write anything about it. Please, if you choose to comment, be respectful of others who may be reading it who have yet to see it.

But I'll leave you with this though.
This movie is a must.
Go see it.

indianwood man

have you ever had those moments where something keeps reoccurring in the oddest of times and places? Where something you had completely forgotten about resurfaces, and by the time you've nearly forgotten it again, you find yourself there once again, in some sort of cyclical game?

there is this man... we will call him indianwood man, for that is the street he used to live on. when I was younger, he intrigued me a great deal. with long brown hair, a gentle demeanor and an artsy way about him, I would slow my pace as I passed his house where he would be remodeling his old school yellow convertible volkswagon bug. he seemed to be out there all the time, working on that car, which was a beauty. in high school, I went with a friend to a family gathering where, with no idea of their friendship, they met up with indianwood man's family. it was there I talked with indianwood man and his family for the first time. our meeting seemed to me to be very random. he worked at the local grocery store, and I would often run into him in one of the isles. but after a while, he quit and I no longer saw him. it had been about two years since I saw indianwood man...until a couple weeks ago. I was sitting at a stoplight when indianwood man was crossing the intersection... he glanced over and offered a friendly wave. again, it just felt so random. And so tonight, I saw indianwood man once again at a local church gathering. I didn't know indianwood man was a God follower. very random... but very, very cool.

I love those moments... where it feels very much like a story with reoccuring characters who aren't the focus of story, but add depth and beauty to its tale.

taste transformation

Hey all...

I was reminiscing with a friend of mine tonight about the music we listened to when we were little. For the most part, I grew up fairly conservative, so my musical knowledge didn't really come to bloom until mid-high school. My dad had been really big into the Beatles, so I was pretty familiar with their music. My brother had the soundtrack to "Top Gun" and "Rocky" on record that I can remember listening to quite a bit. But that was it... not much of an introduction to music.

When I was a younging (we're talking, like 8 or so) I remember my friends being really into George Michael. Why, I'm not entirely sure. But "Faith" was huge on the radio. At least I never feel into the New Kids On the Block Trap (but I did however, like Hanson... and still listen to some of their music!) I also remember my best friend across the street owning the album "Check Your Head" by Beastie Boys. "Pass the Mic" was the first Beastie Boys song I ever heard. I also remember being a big fan of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Hahaha... I knew all the words to "Nightmare On My Street"... I still know most of them.

As I grew older, I of course listened to a lot of Christian music. Lots of Michael W. Smith, Whiteheart, PFR, DC Talk, David Meece, with a little Petra thrown in there every now and then. When I was introduced again to secular music (basically, my parents began to let me listen to the radio more) I was introduced to top 40 music, and for a while, that was all I knew. I can remember loving the songs "Rain" by Madonna, "Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson, "Where You Get Love" by Matthew Sweet, and "Baby I Love Your Way" by Big Mountain (and lots of other stuff off the Reality Bites soundtrack). Makes me laugh to think about how much I loved these songs.

*Really Sad Tid-bit of Info: The first two CDs I ever bought were "Smells Like Nirvana" by Weird Al, and the the Joey Lawrence Album (you know, Joey from Blossom - WHOA!) How sad is that?

Eighth grade, I was pretty much all about Counting Crows. That craze stuck with me a LONG time. I'm still a fan.

When I was a freshman in high school was when my music taste began to shift into the alternative scene. Grunge was pretty big at the time, and moving into full fledged, early nineties alternative. I became a huge fan of bands like Weezer, Bush, Smashing Pumpkins (my friend with whom I was reminiscing was pretty quick to hop on the Pumpkins wagon - he had their CD as a fourth grader), Cranberries (I don't know, were they really alternative?), Gin Blossoms, Radiohead, Nirvana, various songs by Flaming Lips, and Buffalo Tom (thanks to My-So-Called-Life)... There were of course other bands that were NOT a part of the alternative scene that I go into such as Toad the Wet Sprocket (who I fell in love with), Dogs Eye View, and STILL listening to Michael Jackson on occasion.

During my sophomore year, U2 made its way into my music collection. As a kid, my brother used to listen to them all the time. Simply due to the fact that he was my brother and liked them, meant I therefore had to hate them. Unfortunately, I missed out on a lot of years I COULD have been listening to U2. But I finally got around to it. Other bands that joined my music collection were Third Eye Blind (a huge favorite amongst my high school friends), Collective Soul, Creed (come on, you know you liked their first album!), Guster, and Duncan Sheik.

It wasn't until maybe 3 years ago that I really started to get into music. I started searching bands I didn't know, trying to find music I found on my own. I feel as though I have come to know a LOT more about music, but have a long way to go. But as I look back to the days of Petra and Whiteheart, and look at what I'm listening to now, it's so cool to see the transformation of musical taste.

If you've stuck with my story of music transformation this long, rock on. It was a long one.

How about you? Anybody got any weird musical transformation stories?

old writing

Tonight was an interesting night. I began a new writing project, and decided to break out some old writing. My English classes all throughout high school were filled with great amounts of writing - stories, but journaling especially. I began to reread some of my journals tonight, and found myself laughing aloud. The things I thought about and wrote about... I began to wonder if 8 years from now, I would do the same thing looking back on this writing. The things I wrote were so funny (as well as the comments from my English teacher). Anyway, I also began to browse through the poems I wrote from age 15 to 21ish. Some of them were kind of interesting. A while ago, I had resurrected "The World Through His Window" - a poem I wrote when I was 15. I think that maybe every so often, I'll resurrect a new one. Some of them may be decent, some of them may be ridiculous. But for tonight, I'll share this one with you.

I wrote this one when I was 19. You'd think at age 19 my writing would be in decent shape, but I was still a fairly new writer. Therefore, I find this poem kind of funny. It's not terrible, but it's awkward (plus, you can tell I read a little Frost before I wrote it - the whole Road theme). But, for whatever reason, it kind of stuck with me as I was paging through some of my old poems. So here goes...

The Road
In an attempt to discover oneself,
It seems as though life finds them first.
There are two roads to which I can travel.
One, I've already run down.
Naive and foolish.
The one where I threw caution to the wind
I allowed myself to be seen
And for the inner me to be exposed
Only to be trampled on by the same as I -
Naive fools running down the same road
Just as fast.
I pulled myself up to try again,
Only to pursue failure over and over.
Day after day, I put my heart on the line
Day after day, choice after choice
Everything seemed wrong.
But day after day, I became stronger.
I made it down the road a little further
I have now come to the place
Where the road splits in two.
I can stay on this road,
Or follow the one well traveled.
A road where no one gets hurt
Each in their own line
Oblivious to those around them -
Emotionless... unhurt because of it.
I glance down that road
Then continue on my way.
Though hurt and weakened at times
I became stronger on this road.
I went through every emotion I thought possible
Yet there were more to come...
And others were with me.
I even met some pretty interesting naive fools.


Ok, be nice... Remember, I was only 19 and still kind of new to the writing world.
But I kind of like resurrecting these old poems... Makes me enjoy how I've grown over the years, and how I still have a very very long way to go before I'll feel like an accomplished writer. Maybe that day will never come. But I'm totally enjoying the process.

cannonball mix

Here's my newest playlist. It's probably the strangest one I've ever put together, but I love having new playlists and I'm excited about this one. It's got some great artists on it, and a few of my favorite songs. Some are old, some are new. But I thought I'd share it with you all so...

cannonball mix

Cannonball (Radio Remix) - Damien Rice
Swallowed By The Sea - Coldplay
2AM - Anna Nalik
Stars and Boulevards - Augustana
Bullet Proof... I Wish I Was - Radiohead
Hello Tomorrow (adidas version) - Karen O. & Squeak E. Clean
Light and Day (radio edit) - Polyphonic Spree
Before This Time - Ollabelle
Sunshine - Billy Miles
Lilac Wine (Album Leaf Remix) - The Verve
To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
Love Should - Moby
Sandalwood - Lisa Loeb
Mad World - Gary Jules & Michael Andrews
Snow Day - Matt Pond PA
Epiphany - Staind
Nightswimming - covered by Dashboard Confessional
Rainbow Connection - Sarah McLauchlan
Cannonball - Vienna Teng

G8 decision

Hey, if you get a chance. Take a look at this link. G8 has decided to cancel some major debts. This could create potentially huge possibilities for some very poor countries.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/06/11/uk.g8.africa/index.html

(you can also click on the title above)

X&Y

No in-depth review here. Just pure lovin'.
Love this album.
But what's not to like about Coldplay?

Current fave song off the album: Fix You
This song is just beautiful, and sure to end up on some WB show, or the OC or something.
I love this album.

If you haven't picked up this album, I highly recommend it. Such great tunes.
Did I mention I love this album?

overwhelmed

Have you ever found yourself so overwhelmed by something you find yourself running from it? A thought, an idea, a situation so big and consuming, you were afraid it might swallow you whole? Something, that if you let Him, God might just place you directly in the center of? Have you ever been so taken by something, yet wanting to do nothing about it because of the emotional energy it would require?

I find myself in this spot. I do not want to talk about it in depth at this point in time, but I have found myself in recent days to be numbing my mind, filling it with meaningless ponderings so that I don't have to think about this one thing that if I stop even for a brief moment and consider it's greatness, I am unable to hold back tears. I find myself not wanting to face it, not wanting to admit it, not wanting to look it in the eye but rather run the other direction hiding my head in the sand like a fear stricken ostrich.

Sometimes I think this fear will get the best of me. Sometimes I think I will miss great opportunities because of it. Sometimes I think that if I were only stronger, if only I were able to push myself, I might be able to learn so much. There are some things I can push past, some things I can force myself to do despite my fear... Why is it, I cannot do this one thing.

I'm not sure how I will get there... but I know it's worth getting to.

stuck in a moment

"I'm just trying to find a decent melody, a song that I can sing in my own company"

Finding your path can be a difficult task. I'm still trying to find out what I'm good at, what I could see myself doing the rest of my life, and being content with the melody I'm singing in life. Sometimes I hit a wrong note, but like this line says, I'm just trying to find one that's decent... A song that does not need refining is not worth singing.

"You've got to get yourself together, you've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it"

Sometimes I get so hung up on one thing. If I can't seem to get past it, I analyze it into the ground until it makes sense. Instead of accepting it as an unknown and moving on, I seem to get stuck in that moment. This line is such a challenge... Getting myself together and getting out of that moment.

"Don't say that later will be better..."

I'm a great waiter. I always think there's something better around the bend. Life will be better when I get married. Life will be better when I move out. When I have kids. The perfect job. How sad that I'm missing the "better" that is now.

"You are such a fool to worry like you do..."

I'm not sure I need to elaborate on this one. I love how in the Bible God challenges us to not worry about what we will eat or what we will wear. I worry about things far more lame than that.

"And if the night runs over, and if the day won't last, and if your way should falter along this stoney pass... it's just a moment, this time will pass."

Isn't it good to know all these moments will pass. I never meant for this reflection through the U2 song to be depressing. It's actually kind of liberating for me. It's awesome to know that each of these moments - moments of sadness, of worry, of anger, or fear, of doubt, of everything ugly will someday pass... So great... I just recently re-discovered the exclusive Target album where there is an acoustic version of this great U2 song. I fell in love with this song because it's such an optimistic song for me. It's not dismissing struggles or periods of being "stuck" but it's saying, "Hey, it happens, but it won't last forever."

This may be the first of a few U2 song contemplations. Especially songs off How to Dismantle the Atomic Bomb. Such great thoughts are spoken on that album.

remembering

This week seems to be about remembering...

Sunday we said goodbye to our friend and youth pastor at my church. He had resigned, and we were having a farewell party for him. Lots and lots of pictures. Lots and lots of memories. And I saw a lot of people who I haven't seen in a long time... It was great.

On Tuesday, I attended a Brewers Game. Brewers vs. Colorado Rockies. Granted, I'm not a huge fan of either team, or even a fan of baseball really... However, I felt a bit nostalgic because the Colorado Rockies used to be my friend Nate's favorite baseball team in junior high. I've known Nate since I was three. Today, I attended his wedding. Surrounding him at the wedding were a whole slew of friends from my past - some of them I known since I was in diapers, some of them were my best friends. It was a great day for reminscing and remembering all the amazing times we had together. I feel truly honored and blessed to have had them all as a part of my life, and it was great remembering with them today.

Wednesday, I was driving a friend of mine down to Lake Geneva. Before we even had a chance to leave town, we were sitting at a stoplight and this younger guy was walking across the intersection. As he drew closer to my car, I informed my friend that I knew him. Him name is Eric, and he used to live down the street from me - two streets down, on Indianwood Lane. He used to have a bright yellow old school Volkwagon Beetle convertable that he'd work on. As he passsed by my car, he waved... I'm not entirely sure if the wave was due to the fact that we were staring at him or that he remembered me. Either way, it made my day.

Monday is Memorial Day - a day to remember soldiers that we've lost. Soldiers who have fought and served their country so that we can enjoy the freedoms we do today. On Monday, I have been been invited to a picnic at the Witmer household to remember Michelle, who died serving her country. It will be a tough day as Michelle is greatly missed... but I'm sure it will be a day to celebrate her beautiful life, and remember her for the way she lived it.

Lots and lots of memories. Lots and lots of nostalgia. Some of it really good and cathartic. Some of it really hard and sad. It's so crazy how God designed us with such emotions and abilities. I'm grateful for them though. It makes life all the richer.

the sun sets

The sun sets on another day in the life of Jack Bauer. Season four came to a close tonight with a great two hour season finale. Who knew how it would turn out? I won't write about it so as to not spoil it for those who haven't seen it.

Just one thing though...Any bets on a new name? And no Kelly, it will not be K.Do....

mad hot ballroom

I'm not sure how many of you are documentary fans, but I started watching them not that long ago, and have fastly become addicted. My list of documentaries seen is not that many, but I am more and more drawn to them as time goes on. I saw the preview for this documentary "Mad Hot Ballroom" before the movie "Millions", and thought it looked great. It's from the same director as "Spellbound" (another great documentary that follows, I believe, 8 different students as they prepare and compete in the national spelling bee). Check out the trailer if you get a chance and if you enjoy documentaries.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount_classics/mad_hot_ballroom.html

ovaries for an ipod

I had an original post on this, but created a longer version of it.
Here is the new version.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=6439
(or click on the link above)

feel good

I'm addicted. I am officially, completely, and utterly addicted to the iPod commericals (and now addicted to the Feel Good Inc. song by Gorillaz). Granted, when U2 launched their iPod commerical, I thought it was a beautiful thing. However, as more and more commericals come out, I became more and more addicted. There was the recent "Jerk It Out" by Caesars, then came "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz (such a great commerical with all the old school rollerskaters) and now, the new "Technologic" by Daft Punk - do they get any cooler? And a friend of mine suggested that crazy dancer David Elsewhere may be behind some of the slick moves, or else they stole some of his moves (seriously, who else can move like he can?). Whatever the case, the commercials just keep getting cooler and cooler. Not to mention, whoever they have on board for introducing new music is really smart... great taste that TOTALLY catches on everywhere.

Kudos to Apple and iPod commerical makers and all involved. Keep up the good work.
If you get a chance, check out the Rollerskating iPod commercial (which despite the amazing dancing in the Technologic commerical (the picture above), I still think the Rollerskating is my favorite - click on the title of this post).


Enjoy.

zap, magic fairy zap

Do you guys remember the "Super Mario Brothers Super Show"?
Who knows what made me think of it today, but I found this great screen cap (it's a little distorted) of the show, and I listened to the main theme song (I forgot how terrible it was) and remembered the greatest quote from the whole show that my friend Leah and I used to quote all the time when we were little:

"Zap, magic fairy zap!"

Who knows why... Then again, who knows why we did any of the things we did when we were little. But I remember watching this show... I remember playing Mario Bros until I got blisters on my fingers, especially Mario Bros 3.

Speaking of Mario Bros 3 - did anyone out there ever see "The Wizard"? Now there's a great movie! Hehehe...
I remember it was about this kid who was amazing at video games, and they went to this video game competition. For the final round they introduced a new game - Mario Bros 3.

Man, do I feel old.
Then again, I guess we could talk about Pong, and make ourselves feel even older.

anger

Anger is an odd thing, I'm learning. I'm learning there are different forms, different levels, and even different venues of expression. However, it's such a soul deteriorating, heart hardening thing. It literally has the capability of consuming an entire person, sucking the life right out of them. It burrows down into the deepest parts of one's soul, deep within one's bones and unleashes its wrath at the most inopportune moments. It makes me think of a bear... Now, track with me for a second here... A bear hibernates. Just lays there, silent, and waiting. It's even possible to be unaware of the bear. However, once stirred and awoken, look out! He's hungry, and on a definitely violent mission. I feel like I have such a creature within my soul... How does one even catch that sort of animal? How does one tame a wild beast that has been in such a deep slumber for so long? What does one do with that wild bear.

A bear made his way to the suburbs a few weeks ago. He followed the river, or the train tracks or something. A little cub, who had no idea where he was, or that he was even in the wrong place. He found a semi-truck to sleep under - that's where someone spotted him. And then, he made his way into a tree in Wauwatosa - about as "suburbanish" as you can get. Maybe he was tired of the woods. Maybe he wanted to see what surburbia was all about. No matter what the little bear's motive, the fact still remains: he was out of place. He did not belong there, and needed to removed from the city.

Does my little cub story have a point? I believe it ties in with my association with anger. Anger does not belong in ones soul. It's out of place. Whatever the reason, no matter how it got there, it doesn't belong there and needs to be removed.

The little Wauwatosa bear was shot with a tranquilizer gun, and removed from the city. What do you suppose works for anger? How does one tranquilize it and remove it? Now, I love animals, and would never have wished for the bear to be slain. However, I would give anything for this beast of mine to be slain. It does not need to be relocated, it does not need a proper place, it does not even need to be hidden - it needs to be demolished.

No tranquilizer gun. No zoo for rehabilitation. No forest up north.
Gone. Vanquished. Never to be seen again.
That's where it needs to be.
Let's hope that miracle happens, before it's hiberation time again.

eco session UPDATE

I got the Billy Bragg song, thanks to my rockin' professor who sent it to me.
Thanks you, Nik Heyen. My playlist is complete. :)

eco session

Who knew that as a student in Environmental Geography, I'd be given an idea for a new playlist.
Here is the list of tunes we listened to today, and my current playlist.

Eco Session

"Blowin' In The Wind" - Bob Dylan
"Man and His Environment" - Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown
"Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology)" - Marvin Gaye
"Only So Much Oil In The Ground" - Tower of Power
"The Price of Oil" - Billy Bragg (I'm still attempting to locate this one)
"Dragonfly" - Ziggy Marley
"Gone" - Jack Johnson
"Excuse Me Mr." - Ben Harper
"Last Great American Whale" - Lou Reed

Definitely different than my usual taste, but I definitely dig. Makes for a fun school playlist.

the ONE campaign

Please check out The ONE campaign. You can visit the website below, or click on the title of this post to take you there. This is a campaign put together to bring an end to poverty. I am still in the early stages of learning and getting involved... I finally realized that action, no matter how small, is better than no action. I hope you're able to take a few seconds to visit this site. Watch the video, read a little bit of information, and if you feel so moved, sign the petition or buy a wristband or do both.
Thanks for listening.

www.one.org

millions

Check out the trailer for this movie (click on the title of the entry). It's such a great movie. I would recommend it to anyone. I'll write a lengthier review sometime soon, but for now, check out the trailer and GO SEE IT! It's so great.

seasons

I just wrote my first review for Relevant. It was a review of the self titled CD by a band called The Bravery. It's sort of a reinvention or ressurrection of new wave music. They sound a little like The Killers. Anyway, I started out the review, "To everything there is a season..." And I feel like that is so true right now. I feel like seasons are such a common thing, and I'm still trying to adjust to their existence.

Spring just arrived. We've only recently started to have warm breezes, cooling thunderstorms, and yes, ladybugs. It seems like ladybugs are a sure sign of warm weather. As spring has approached, drawing winter to an end, so have other things drawn to an end.

For those of you who don't know, I have decided to leave the church that I have attended just shy of 5 years. This was a difficult decision, and for those of you who would like to know why, feel free to email me or give me a call and we can talk about it. But I feel as though it is another season, like winter, that has come to an end. I was talking about with a friend of mine yesterday, and we were describing that it felt like we were graduating from high school, and all about to head in different directions. That's a pretty good description, because it's pretty close to how I feel. But while there is some pain behind this movement, there is also an excitement. While it's the end of one chapter, it's the beginning of another. I know, I know... Total cliche crap. But hey, it's true.

Another season I feel is changing is my transition from being a kid into adulthood. Granted, this probably should have happened a long time ago, but when I turned 25 last weekend, I really began to feel like, "Wow, I'm a full fledged adult." I had so many plans for where I would be when I was 25. When I was 18, I was sure I'd be married, have either a career or a kid, and be well on my way in life. Right now, I'm a college student who still lives at home, single, and no clue what she wants to do with the rest of her life. However, I feel all of that about to change. I don't know why. I don't know how I got this feeling, what I'm going to do with it, or where it will lead me, but I feel like "direction" is just around the corner, and I'm about to hit it head on. Let's hope that's the case.

So a few seasons are coming to a close and just about to start. It'll be interesting to see what season comes next.

anniversary

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of Michelle Wimter's death.
I think about that family quite often, and wonder how one processes such an event, and attempts to move on. I know that they have. I know they're a strong family. I know they have things to look forward to and celebrate in their family. But I also know it must still feel fresh for them too, and I know they're a tight family and so I'm sure they feel it every day.
I love them lots. I don't always show it to them, and let them know they mean a lot to me, but they do.
I will continue to think about them and pray for them as they enter their second year without Michelle.

culture envy

I never really fully fit into the world of art. That "artsy" side of me has always been there, and I'd like to consider myself creative, but I've never been able to say "I'm an artist." When I was at Judson, I can remember there being times where I strongly desired to be just like the art majors surrounding me. However, I just didn't find the appeal in Vampire Hunter D, or other such japanese animation, my interest in comic books was lacking, and I was quite positive I didn't dig Buffy. Art culture #1 I didn't belong to.

I have a friend who's a graffiti artist - or rather, was a graffiti artist. He's a skater, has the dread thing going on, and has who knows how many tatoos. He's one of my favorite people. But in my khaki's, button down shirt, and bobbed hair, I don't exactly fit into to the "skater" realm either. Granted, I made a valiant attempt to learn how to skateboard (and might I say, I wasn't THAT bad), but that's definitely a world that is not my own.

Then there's the political activist artists.
The top notch, sophisticated, corporate bound graphic designers.
The "I'm angry with the world" artists.
The people who have hands that are permanently clay-caked.
The reclusives.
The rebels.

If you step out of the world of physical visual art (fine art/graphic design) and consider the film and music realm, it's the same thing. If you don't know everything there is to know about film or music, don't even try to pretend like you do. They'll see right through you, and mention something so completely obscure that even the originator is hazey as to its existence.

I feel like I can grab from each of these categories, compiling some form of "mut" artist, who's skill is lacking but passion is there. I love art. I love to be creative. I have millions of ideas in my head with no satisfactory way of expressing them.
But I'm not an artist. I can't keep up in conversation with an artist. And I don't fit into their culture... at least, not entirely.
But I so desire to be a part it.
I guess you could say I have a bit of culture envy.

storms

Laying on my back in my shadowed room, I looked past my silhouetted feet which were propped in my half-opened window, to watch the storm emerge outside. Brief moments of illumination revealed my quiet and still neighborhood. There's something so comforting in the sounds of storms - the rain rattling on the roof, the slight buzzing of the dampened power lines, the low rumbling in the distance... All these sounds, which independently would not be as beautiful, slip through my window with great ease. I absolutely love storms. I could sit for hours and just soak it all in. I remember a few years ago, how I would play in the rain. My roommates and I - no inhibitions, no cares at all - would take off, full force and just run through the rain. I can honestly say, those nights were some of my favorites. Nothing mattered. It was as if the rain had some sort of magic, some sort of shield to anyone and anything that might interfer with our night of rain dancing. I miss those days. But for now, I'll simply enjoy the beginning of spring nights, which only promise more storms to come.

ben, nik, jon & james...

and the soundtrack of life. That was the FULL title of my blog, but it didn't all fit on the subject line.

Ben. He's my Film & Literature professor. His 5 year old daughter has spring break this week so he brought her to class. Mya. He kept smiling and winking at her. He introduced her to the class. He helped her get a drink from the water fountain, and walked hand in hand with her down the hall. If I thought he was cool before, this just solidified it for me.

Nik. He's my environmental geography professor. Even on the first day of class, he impressed me with his humor. I'm a sucker for humor. I love the fact that while he has a very definite stance on issues (he's a tree hugger, for sure), he presents both cases, and gives viable reasons for each side of the story. He never forces his beliefs on anyone, and likes to ask questions, leaving things unanswered... And every now and then, he'll point at some poor victim, say, "Yes... You!" in hopes they'll give him an answer, even though they weren't raising their hand. Hasn't worked yet.

Jon. What a nutty professor. He's always a bit discombobulated when he comes to class. Always has his iPod going - I wonder what he listens to? But he's kind of a crazy guy... He's my civil disobedience professor, and is SUPER creative in his assignments. We wrote an intellectual dialogues paper in which I wrote a conversation between MLK Jr., Gandhi, and Thoreau. We created "protest posters" and our final project is actually generating a protest campaign. Way to make things interesting, ProfK! He's cool.

James. They don't get any more interesting than James. He's gotta have a millions stories. I'm serious... This guy has probably seen so many things in his lifetime. Fitzgerald and Hemmingway is what he teaches, and he's in total awe of these writers. He's a writer himself - short fiction I think. But when was the last time you got to visit your local Harry W. Schwartz, listen to a guy who's in his early sixties, wearing a red flannel shirt and a pair of jeans, reading Jack Kerouac's "On The Road" while his buddy amazes everyone on the saxaphone? I like James... He's make a cool grandfather.

The soundtrack of life... I had a weird moment today. I was walking on campus with my iPod plugged into my ears. Now, I listen to music all the time, but this was different. As I walked around on campus, songs would come on and I felt as though I had a soundtrack. Have you ever had those moments that you thought, "This song would be perfect to be playing in that background." Well, that's what happened today, and I wasn't even trying! It was kind of creepy actually... I'd be walking around thinking about something and a song would come on that related. I was journaling at one point too, when another song came on that was perfectly fitting. CREEPY. But slick none the less...

Good profs. Good music.
These were the thoughts of the day.

relevant

Just thought I'd let you all know that I got a writing internship with Relevant Magazine. I'm pretty stoked about it. I start April 1st, so I can't really tell you how it's going yet. But it looks as though I'll be working on the "Progressive Culture" section, and doing a fair amount of editing, some writing, and interviewing (who, I'm not sure).
So that's pretty cool... I'm excited. You can check out the website at www.relevantmagazine.com. They will be launching a new website in a little less than two weeks, and will also have new merch available as of March 25. So check it out. I'll keep you posted as I learn more.

Later.

missed

I didn't know her. I don't have to know her, I guess. I've learned a lot from those who DID know her, and are now battling their sense of loss, missing her. They're expressing her kindness, her love for people, her love for God... I didn't know her. But do I need to know her? She was a sister in Christ, whether I knew her or not, and today I join the many others in mourning her loss: her family and friends, my brother and sister in law, the band who lead worship at a conference I was at, and one of my brother's closest friends - a best friend of this girl. I can't pretend that my mourning is the same. It's not. I have no idea the pain and hurt they are experiencing right now. But I mourn the loss of another young person who felt they had no other option. I mourn for her family, her fiancee, and her friends who now have to do life without her. I didn't know her, but I feel like I did. Everytime I walk past my friends who have a huge smiles on their faces, but have so much pain inside... Everytime I see a friend of mine, journaling their inner most thoughts... Everytime I ask the question, "Is life worth living?" I didn't know her... but I'm sure she will be missed. May God bless Laurie's friends and family. You will all be in my prayers.

leland

Do you ever have those moments, those times in life that meet you where you're at, and speak volumes to you without even expecting it, or knowing how to react towards it? That is kind fo what happened to me this evening. I just finished watching "The United States of Leland" and I can't even put into words how the movie made me feel. This movie is so sad - in an "American Beauty" sort of way, yet for whatever reason, I resonated with it so much. I wish I could describe it to you, but the words just won't come. If you have a tolerance for language, I would highly recommend watching it. However, if you're in a funk, it probably won't squelch that funk but rather encourage it. If you do end up watching it, let me know... I'd love someone else to process it with.

checkers

she peered down at the pieces before her. red. black. round.
they each had their place.
some had already been eliminated, having exited the game earlier.
they were jumped.
robbed of their opportunity to succeed.
but that's how the game's played, isn't it?
she continued to stare at the pieces.
some of them crowned.
those were the pieces that knew what they were doing.
going somewhere. becoming something.
kings.
others hid in the corners of the board
unsure of their next move, and unable to be jumped.
cowards.
she looked at the pieces in the middle of the board.
plenty of potential, and no protection.
they were out there, exposed
but at least they were playing the game
they were moving forward
there was a goal ahead of them
they were determined
fearless
everything had its place.
then, the board was flipped.
he took his right foot, raised it quickly,
and kicked the board.
bastard.
the pieces scattered.
some hit the floor
some rolled away, never to be found.
the pieces no longer had their place
those that had become kings lost their status
joining the rest of the low-lives on the floor
the game was over
pieces scattered
and a new game would have to begin
as soon as she picked up the pieces.

the shadowlands

I'm sitting here listening to a beautiful song by Ryan Adams. It's called "The Shadowlands". The first line is, "God please bring the rain, yeah bring it soon." Such a beautiful song. A friend of mine has totally been getting into music and asked me to give him a list of the things I had been listening to lately. I decided to do some song searching of my own, and here's what I found that I think is worth checking out...

The Shadowlands - Ryan Adams
Snow Day - Matt Pond PA
Even If I Feel Better - Phoenix
Dig the Lightning - Robbers on High Street
Eleanor - Low Millions
Why Is My Sleeping Bag A Ghetto Muppet - Chin Up Chin Up

The last one has the GREATEST name for a song. But it's kind of fun. These are the few songs that I found that I'm digging right now. You should check them out, for sure. So great.

I hope to write some of my thoughts on here in the next few days, but I've been trying to process a lot lately and it's all kind of muddled up in my head. I can't seem to think straight.

But for now, enjoy some new tunes.

in the middle

Ok. I realize that I often attribute what I'm feeling, and also express how I'm feeling through music. Dunno why... Music just, well, works... I wish I had more profound thoughts for you this evening. Maybe some more will come to me later on. But I was driving home tonight, when this song came on the radio. Now, I'm a huge Jimmy Eat World fan. Love em. However, the song "In The Middle" drove me nuts when it first came out - mostly because it was so overplayed. Well, I hadn't heard it in a really long time, and it came on the radio as I was driving home, and it was so cool because it was the best song for me to hear at that moment. You know, I never payed attention to the lyrics, but they're kinda cool... Well, at least tonight they were kinda cool... Encouraging to me anyway... So I thought I'd share a little bit of them with you all...

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time,
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright alright.
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time,
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright alright.
It just takes some time,
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright (alright).
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time,
little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright alright.

block

You'd think that as an English major, writing papers would come naturally. Well, typically, for me that writing does come naturally! I can usually sit down at a computer and whip out a 3-4 page paper, no problem. Well, this semester has kicked me in the pants as far as papers are concerned. I don't know if it's total writer's block, not understanding the material enough, not being focused... Whatever the case is, I'm doggie paddling through these papers. No idea what I'm doing.

The one paper I'm currently working on is actually really interesting, and I wish I had more time to develop it and be more creative. I have to write an intellectual dialogue between Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, and H.D. Thoreau where we are discussing civil disobedience in some way shape or form. Like I said, the topic and type of paper really interests me, but I'm getting my butt kicked as far as how to go about doing this!

Anyway, this was my brief little public service announcement for the morning. Actually, I'm just really distracted and not focused, and hoping some sort of ephiphany as to what I should write will come. So, we'll see what becomes of my papers.

z.b.

In honor of this horrible, er, I mean, most wonderful day, I thought I would take the time to honor Zach Braff. Could there be a greater man to celebrate? I know, all my married friends are out there saying, "I could make an arguement for that..." Well, here is my "behold" for the day. Behold the greatness that is Zach Braff. Behold the man with amazing musical taste. Behold the man with the talent to not only act, but to write and direct. Behold the man who can make us laugh one minute, and cry the next. Behold the man that makes me melt! :)

I know, I'm giddy like a school girl. But hey, I've got nothing else to do on this wretched, I mean, great day.
Hehehe...

Ah, Zach Braff...

from the past

I had a bit of an odd occurence last night - but a good odd occurence. A friend and I decided to go check out this "young adult" type church that's on the east side of Milwaukee. We thought that a friend of ours was doing worship for it (found out he wasn't) and, well, we just thought it'd be pretty cool to check out. It was a church that was started because of a bunch of small groups. There were a lot of small groups that were meeting, and then, they just decided to start a church from that. Kind of cool.

Anyway, so my friend Jerica and I walk into the building, and needless to say, it was a little awkward. Now, I can be outgoing at times, and I can also be really shy. At that moment, I was super shy. So, Jerica and I just stood there talking. A few minutes later, this girl named Mel approached us, introduced herself, and started a conversation with us. We weren't a minute into the conversation when all of a sudden I heard "TORY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I look to see who's shouting my name, only to see my roommate from Judson College who I haven't seen in about 3 or 4 years. CRAZINESS! Her name is Emily, and she was one of the first friends I made at Judson, and was also my roommate my sophomore year. Now, it's not all THAT odd because she is from the Racine area. However, it's just odd that of all the places to run into her, I would run into her there. So, we chatted a bit... As we did, I was like, "Hey, I went to high school with him... and with her." And then Emily was like, "Yeah, we found out about this place because of Chad." Now, oddly, I've known quite a few Chads in my time. I racked my brain through the Chads we would have both known... Finally found a match, and again, someone I had not seen in a couple years. He meandered in later in the night, and I was able to talk to him for a bit. He's always been one of the artsy folk, and I've known him to have long hair, but it's out of control now! hahaha... long and dreaded he is! It was really cool to see him though. What a blast from the past last night!

It's so crazy though because when I experience stuff like that, I can't seem to get it off the brain. For instance, I woke up this morning, and one of my first thoughts was "I can't believe I saw Emily and Chad last night!" It was so exciting and cool to see them. They are definitely people I wouldn't mind having back in my life. Just crazy though to have run into them. Weird how things like that happen.

possible, but not probable

Breaking News! Ok, so it's not really all that exciting... But, check it out one and all... Blogger has changed their methods to commenting. Now, you no longer have to post as Anonymous, or have an account with Blogger. Simply select "Post Comment" and where it asks you who you want to post as, select "Other" and it will allow you to type in your name, and if you have a website, you can list that as well. This makes the commenting world on Blogger so much easier!

So now my friends, commenting has become much more possible. More than likely though, not more probable...

randomness

my blog has no direction today. just a whole lot of randomness. bare with me. no caps today either.

i was reading through some of the other blogs i frequent on a semi-regular basis, and realized, they have a lot more comments than i do. this brought me to a few different thoughts:

a) very few, if any (other than my mom - bless her loyal soul) read my blog.
b) i don't post anything of any importance to anyone else (things only i find interesting)
c) people are vindictive and mean and don't want me to know that secretly they're reading my blog, taking ideas from it and making millions off of it while i sit here wallowing in school loans or
d) the commenting feature on this blog is too frustrating and it's easier to just read

i somehow think c is probably out, because honestly, my blog's not that fantastic. i would like to believe that b isn't the case because i have had conversations with those of you out there, and i know that some of my thoughts are your thoughts as well. maybe i go a little overboard on the music thing, but well, hey... what can i say. that leaves me with a or d. now, knowing that you have to either register or post annonymously, i'm thinking that's kind of annoying to most of you. so, i'm going with d. how's that for process of elimination?

i'm home sick today (will this darn cough never end?), hence the reason of my random thinking. somehow being sick and thinking random thoughts go hand in hand. maybe it's because when you're sick, you have all this time to think. eventually, you've thought about all the normal stuff so much, that you eventually have to start thinking about random things, or you'd be thinking about nothing at all. just a thought.

i have no clue what to do with my life. any suggestions?

side note for everyone to be aware of: i'm a terrible game player. i've always known this about myself, but there were four witnesses of my wrath this past sunday as i played a brutal game of uno. yes, uno. you know it's bad when you begin to swear at people in hebrew. all apologies to jen... i know she doesn't read this, but she gave me one too many "draw fours" and "draw twos" and seemed to keep laying down colors i didn't have... lets just say lots of yelling and name calling happened.

alright. that's enough randomness for the day. maybe i'll write a more pointed entry later.

O.C. confuses emotion

Ok, so I'm not a fan of the O.C. I don't really have anything against the show, per se, but I don't ever watch it. However, can I tell you about my confused emotion towards the show. On the one hand, I love the fact that they are taking up and coming artists, and giving them air time. There are some AMAZING artists that have been played on the show, and have shown up on the soundtracks (which by the way, their on #4 - due out in March I believe). So, while I'm happy that they're taking unknowns and making them known, I'm also sad because now I feel like any time I come upon an artist that I REALLY dig, they have been a part of the O.C. music line up, and for that, I feel dumb. I mean, who wants to say, "So, I really like the band Keane." and some high school student who is obsessed with the O.C. says, "Yeah, that song by them was played when so and so kissed so and so!" I mean, I just don't want to have that kind of association either. You know? Many of my current favorite artists appear have had air time on the O.C. including: The Album Leaf, Turin Brakes, Ben Kweller, Jem, Jimmy Eat World, Keane, The Dandy Warhols, Death Cab for Cutie, and more...

My current music pick would be Flunk's album "Morning Star", which I just learned will have a song appearing on the O.C. #4 mix. This is SUCH a great CD. I was wandering through the store "Anthropology" when this song came on that just stuck in my head. I loved it! The song, I later found out, was "Blind My Mind". Well, because things are slow getting to the midwest, I learned that song has already been pretty big elsewhere, but I felt like I had stumbled upon something no on was aware of yet. Anyway, I still dig the CD... Check it out if you get a chance. It kind of makes me think of Mazzy Star, but with some funkier beats. Very cool. My favorite track thus far I think is "Spring To Kingdom Come" - however, that is subject to change the more I listen to the album.

Anyway, I guess this was just kind of a "thanks" to the O.C. for giving unknowns a chance, but also a "HEY! STOP IT!' to them as well - let us find our artists on our own! :) Hehehe... Acutally, I'm kind of grateful because I've found a lot I really dig because of them (Album Leaf being the most recent one).

But check out Flunk. Good stuff my friends, good stuff.