lost

Ok, so I was waiting for kay.do or drew.brown to post on the show "Lost" first, but, well, neither one of them are on the ball. So, I am going to stop waiting, and write about it myself.

This will just be an introductory post... I haven't really written any major spoilers, but other people might give stuff away. SO IF YOUR NAME IS DREW BROWN - IF YOU'RE READING THIS AND YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED ANY FROM SEASON TWO YET, STOP READING! AND GO WATCH THEM ON KAYDO'S TIVO! And if you're not named Drew Brown, but you haven't watched any of the 2nd season, that goes for you too.

So, if there are any of you out there who are Lost fans, and have been watching it so far, what do you think of the following?

- The theory that they are in purgatory
- Desmond's role
- Walt: real, or ghost?
- "The Others" - good or evil?
- What the "experiment" is all about?
- Will Locke's dad somehow play into it?
- AND WHAT THE HECK IS WITH JIN?

These are just a few of my ponderings... I'd love to know who out there is a fan, and theorizing with the rest of us geeks.

poll

Well, I've decided to close the poll... It's been at the same number of votes for a while now. It looks like it's a tie between those who say they don't care what I do with regards to posting about music, and those who say they like the integration. So, music will remain a good portion of my blogging experince on this here rain of wonder blog! I'm kind of glad, to be honest with you... I like having all sorts of random stuff on my blog, and taking away the music element would make it feel off balanced or something. At least, to me it would.

So for now, the music stays. No new music blog.
That having been said, coming soon: Augustana, David Crowder, and Matisyahu

music blog

I was having a conversation with my brother, and I was telling him that I feel bad for the amount of blog space I use to write about music. He suggested the idea of starting a seperate music blog for people who were interested in my musical musings. So, I thought about it, and it sounded like kind of a good idea. I do however, like the fact that I write about a mixture of things on this blog, and wondered if it might be lacking a little if I take the music element out of it. Bottom line - I don't know what to do.

So, here's where you come into play. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Below is a poll... You can vote and let me know what you think about a seperate music blog. Let the voting begin...

I like hearing your thoughts...

coloring

This post is sort of inspired by a post found on Justin's blog (see link to the right). He wrote a post about the purpose of white crayons. However, this initial conversation turned into another conversation about coloring in general. Amidst the comments was the question, "Who still colors?"

Well, I would just like to that I still have appreciation for this child-like artform. In fact, it wasn't more than 2 or 3 weeks ago, that while waiting to talk to a friend who is a barista at good old Sbux, my friend and I engaged in a coloring contest. Granted, we didn't have much to work with. The only books that were there were Barney coloring books, and we had these monsterous crayons to try to color with (it's no wonder kids can't stay in the lines - these crayons were gianormous!) Anyway, I cannot even tell you how much fun I had. Despite the fact that my friend and I were hurling insults at one another as to who's picture was better (side note: mine won), I haven't had that much fun in a long time. I have such great memories of coloring from when I was little, and it definitely has not lost it's fun as an adult. I do believe, that I shall have to make a regular occurence of coloring. It was so relaxing, and so much fun. You should try it!

But this then led me to think about other things that are child-like in nature that as an adult I still enjoy. Swings, as I have mentioned before. Night games... I know that being 25, I should probably not like running around in the dark, with dark clothes on, reaking of bug spray, hiding in trees, about to pee my pants from nervousness and excitement mixed together, and chasing after people who are trying to capture my flag, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for night games. Maybe I'm just destined to continue working with students so I get to keep playing games like Capture the Flag and Kick the Can - cause I love to play them!

Let's just say, I can't wait to have kids!

So how about you guys? Any child-like things you still engage in and find fun as an adult? Chutes-n-Ladders anyone?

the bus

Anxiety and panic are nothing new to me. I get completely anxious about exams, I get really panicky when it comes to meeting new people (even though I don't usually let it get in the way of meeting new people) I get nervous about giving speeches, and there are other things I could list... But today, today I experience one of the most panicky situations I've experienced in a long time... It's going to sound kind of silly now, but at the time, it seemed oh-so-real.

I was on my way to school this afternoon. The weather was pretty crappy as it has been the past couple of days - lots of rain, lots of gray. As I got closer to Milwaukee, I reached the section of I-94 where it begins to split off into all the other major freeways, typically a high traffic area. Today my side of the freeway was pretty clear, however, the other side was totally jammed. I was right by the Marquette exit, when I looked on the other side of the freeway and saw a bus pulled over on the side of the road with cop cars behind it and along side it. Now, normally a bus on the side of the road wouldn't bother me THAT much, but today, it freaked me out! As I passed the bus, I looked at the windows, and there stood all these little kids with their hands up on the glass. They had such worried little faces, and there were so many of them! All of a sudden, 8 million thoughts ran through my head - ridiculous thoughts - what if there's a hold up on the bus? What if there's a bomb on the bus? What if something is seriously wrong and all those little kids are in danger? My heart dropped for a moment... I never felt such a surge of urgency in my life. The odd thing is, it was probably just a flat tire, or an overheated/stalled engine, or something silly. The police officers didn't seem too concerned. There wasn't anything on the radio (trust me, I checked all the traffic stations). It didn't make the news tonight.

So what actually happened with that bus? Why did I get so panicky, flipping through every station possible to see if I could find out what happened? Did I really want to know what happened? How did my anxiety go from 0-90 in like 2.2 seconds? And where was my faith that God had it under control?

For some reason, the phrase, "Just trust in God." has almost sounded cliche to me lately. How bad is that? The being in whom I entrust my entire life with, I can't even say that I do or should trust him. But for some reason, when there's a tough situation, and someone says, "Just trust in God" it just sounds like we can just sit back and not do anything. That just because God is in control, we can sit passively by until he figures it out and lets us in on the plan. I don't know that I believe this to be true. Do I believe God is in control? Yes. But do I believe in the word "just"? No. Most definitely not.

I do not by any means have this mastered... heck no. Sometimes, I find myself going in the opposite direction. I am TOO proactive, and forget about who it is that's at work (or trying to be at work) in me... Sometimes I'm too prideful/selfish/blind to see that God's like, "Oh hey, remember me? The one who can give you strength? Wisdom? Guidance?" However, this phrase "Just trust in God". I hear it so much, that often times, it makes me cringe.

Anyway, I decided when I was about 5 minutes away from the bus that there was nothing I could do. Obviously, the police had it under control. It's not like I could just pull up and say to a cop, "Hello. I'm Tory Dolan. What seems to be the problem here?" I'm sure they had it under control. And I had to just let it go, or I would continue to be anxious the rest of the day. But for whatever reason it made me start thinking of this idea of letting go vs. passivity, and passivity vs. activism. Knowing when the situation is indeed completely out of your hands that really all you can do is trust in God, or whether it's a cop out... Pushing, fighting, figuring it out is too hard, and so you therefore JUST TRUST IN GOD, instead of coming along side God and working through it with his help, you know?

Those were just a few of the thoughts that formulated after the bus experience today. It kind of started me thinking about the idea of what is within my means to act on, and when I just need to relinquish it to God... Any thoughts out there on this? I don't think it's a cut and dry issue, but I'm just curious if you guys have ever felt that struggle between the two. When am I just giving up and not putting for the effort, and when is it that God is calling me to let go? Let me know if you have any thoughts. I'd be interested in hearing them.

raindance

Raindances are often needed, and most definitely welcomed. Typically, I'd be all over a raindance - playing in the rain is one of my favorite things to do! But during the storm we had a few days ago, I decided to capture some of the joy tha comes from raindances. The above picture is a picture of the fabulous Jo giggling as the rain started to come down harder. I love it when it rains...

(p.s. - you can see the rest of my "raindance" pictures and other fun & random pictures at the link that says "my pics")

delicate mix

I realize that I tend to write about music way more than I should... But what can I say? It's a huge part of my life. I will write a non-music related post after this one, but I wanted to post my current play list, as I'm pretty excited about it. It's got a lot of mellow music, a lot of piano, and some great vocals... So here it is folks...

The Delicate Mix

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
Drugs or Me (new mix) - Jimmy Eat World
Never Leave Alone Your Heart - Butterfly Boucher (thanks Sarah!)
How To Save A Life - The Fray (Thanks Kyle!)
Boston - Augustana
Honestly - Cary Brothers
Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
Delicate - Damien Rice
Beautiful Man - Lori McKenna (Thanks Zach!)
Silent All These Years - Tori Amos
Chances - Athlete
Face Down - Katie Todd Band
Bedshaped - Keane
I Know You Are But What Am I? - Mogwai
Saeglópur - Sigur Ros

If you haven't heard the new Jimmy Eat World EP with the "Drugs or Me" new mix on there, check it out - it's an awesome EP. Boston by Augustana is becoming one of my favorite songs, and my friend Kyle introduced me to "The Fray" which I will have to check more in depth in the near future. But for now, this is what I'm listening to... and rather enjoying it.

3ps

My brother and sister-in-law were home the past couple of days. My dad had to go into the hospital and so they came home just to "check in" on things. However, the couple days they were here proved for some very interesting conversation about purgatory, personality, and passion.

Purgatory. I know, that sounds like a weird conversation topic given the fact that I'm Protestant. However, the conversation revolved the topic of the show Lost. I'm not sure how many of you watch Lost, but it is a new found favorite with the Illinois Dolans, and I'm a bit of a fan myself. I initially started watching it because of Dominic Monaghan (I know, I'm a geek - don't mock me). Initially, I was pretty turned off by the show - felt it was pretty cheesy. However, as the season went on, I slowly regained an intrigue, and started watching again. The season finale left me one frustrated girl. My brother and his wife watched the DVDs just recently, and are completely hooked. So, while they were home, we talked about the different theories that are floating about, and we landed upon the theory that the survivors on the island are actually in purgatory. We don't necessarily think this is the true theory, but we decided to discuss the possibilities of it. It lead for some VERY interesting conversation, only for us to ask "Wait, is that a part of purgatory?" quite often. I find it funny that a lot of our conversation revolved around Lost and this idea of purgatory... But we're hooked, that's for sure... Kelly even has the Lost sting (like, the sound bite thing at the beginning of the show when showing the title) on his iPod. (Don't worry Drew, I haven't crossed into "Lost is better than 24" land).

Personality. Lots of conversation about the enneagram test - a personality test to help understand what your own personality is, as well as how to interact with other personalities. Has anyone else out there taken it? My brother's friend John was the one who originally directed me towards the enneagram test in order to better figure out some relationship stuff, but now my brother and sister-in-law are quite into it, reading a lot, and trying to learn as much as possible about the interworkings of different personalities. I'm a 2, for those of you who care. If you read the description, it's pretty fitting.
I'm not going to put it all here, but one of the sites I went to where you can take a free test is www.9types.com. It's a little different than the book my sister-in-law has on it, but it's still pretty close.

Passions. My sister-in-law and I got into an interesting conversation about what the next year will hold for each of us. She's looking for a new field of work/new job, and I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do once I graduate. I told her that I have been asked quite a bit lately "If you could do anything in the world you wanted - no limitations - what would it be?" Obviously, I really want to be a wife and mom. However, if we're talking career here, I told her (as well as all the other people who have asked me) that I would like to open a children's booksore. I told her I have NO IDEA how to go about doing that, but it incorporates SO many of my passions - kids, literature, art, etc. I have so may ideas of what it would be like, and what I would do with it - but no idea where to start. She and I had an awesome conversation about the steps necessary to get to where you want to go. Even though I have no further ideas as to how I'm going to get there, she made it sound so possible. So who knows... 5 years from now, I may be known as "Tory Dolan - Bookstore Owner", not just "Tory Dolan - Girl who blogs about how much she'd like to open a bookstore."

Anyway, those were some of my thoughts over the past couple of days. I've actually had a TON more - especially about my dad and hurricane Rita, however, they're not the most uplifting thoughts so I thought I'd spare you and write about three things that I find really interesting right now.

Sorry this isn't the most exciting or witty post... They can't all be winners though now, can they?
Rock on until later, my friends.

Bob Appreciation

I was sharing stories about one of my favorite Bobs. To the friend I was sharing with, I said, “Yeah, and he’s just one of a few really great Bobs.” She was unaware of just how many amazing Bobs there are in the world. I’m thinking maybe, just maybe, you have not thought of this either. If given time, you may be able to come up with a good list. But to help you with that process, and to spur you on towards your own “Bob Appreciation Day”, I will give you my list of “top Bobs”.



I will begin with one of my favorites – Bob Ross. He is the man who inspired this entire post (non-sense though it may be), and has inspired many across the globe to paint masterpieces. His painting skills are not limited to but strongly include mountains and trees. Mountains and trees. That is what I remember most about his paintings. Mountains and trees. And he had this sort of soothing voice as he instructed you how to paint mountains and trees. He made you feel like, you, yes you, could paint a masterpiece like his. I loved him. He was great. And that hair…



Speaking of hair, we’ll move on to our next Bob. Bobcat Goldthwait. My first knowledge of him was watching The Police Academy 2, which we had taped off TV and I watched it over and over and over again. As a small child, his voice and quirky mannerisms made me laugh. As a grown adult, it makes me uncomfortable. However, I have fond memories of watching Police Academy 2, and therefore, he made the list.



Bob Barker. I watched The Price is Right constantly as a kid. My friend Leah and I were bound and determined to get on that show as adults. Granted, Bob has kind of a sketchy real-life character, but the guy I knew when I was little watching that show – he was amazing. He’d give you stuff. A washer and dryer. A car. A trip to Italy. All you had to do was answer his question correctly, and YOU WIN! How easy could that be? Yet people seemed so confused, and lost a lot. But he had compassion for them, and sent them on to spin the wheel for a second chance. Bob Barker was a friend to all…



Speaking of friends to all – Bob Guiney. Now, you might all make fun of me for this one, but I have a soft spot in my heart for Bob Guiney. Yes, he pined for the Bachelorette. Yes, he kissed a boatload of girls when he became the Bachelor. No, neither of those situations worked out for him. And yes, he’s riding on the “reality show” success. But come on – that laugh? How can you not giggle when you hear him laugh? And he’s got a killer smile, you have to admit… Who knows, maybe I’m just a sucker for the curls and the dimples…



Bob Saget. I’m talking Danny Tanner style here folks – another show (Full House) that was on the TV a bit when I was little… a show my mother wishes never existed. Anyway, Bob Saget amazes me, really he does. Do I think he’s an amazing actor? Not particularily. But this man has had his hand in so many projects, has quite the list of accomplishments, and seems to show up in so many different places. Plus, the guy is still doing stand up comedy which the Olsen Twins frequent on a regular basis – that’s gotta say something, right?



Speaking of accomplishments… This guy takes the cake. Bob Dylan. I’m not even sure what I can say about Bob Dylan. I’ve never really gotten into his music, but that man is pretty stinkin’ talented. He is one of the great “Bobs” of all time, and definitely deserved to be on this list.



Bob the Builder. I couldn’t forget him. What an adorable cartoon! Um, that’s basically the only reason he made the list… And, well, he builds things. That’s a definite qualifier…



Last but definitely not least, Bob Sportsmonsfraggger. Who is Bob Sportsmonsfraggger, you ask? Well, even if you didn’t ask, I’m going to tell you. Bob is kind, has a passion for high school students, and even though he can be a tad creepy at times (ok, VERY creepy) he has a good heart and a good message. He brings us the truth of the Bible and encourages us in our walk with God by singing pop songs we all know and love, making it easier for us to know and understand the truths. Like, “Read My Bible One More Time” sung to Brittney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. He also tells us reasons to not have premarital sex. In the words of Bob, “I don’t want a baby, how ‘bout you? NO WAY!” A man who loves his mother, a man who survived malaria, and a man who can wear glasses without the lenses actually being in the frames – Bob is a true inspiration, and an example of how to live life. Thank you Bob, for everything you and everything you stand for (except your decisions regarding fashion).

There are many more “Bobs” that didn’t make this list, but are still important… I hope this has brought more Bobs to your attention on this here Bob Appreciation Day. So encourage your local Bob. (B. Sliw – I love you man – you rock, and I miss seeing you! I appreciate you on this Bob Appreciation Day). Rock on for the all Bobs we’ve come to know and love.

anticipation

I spent the day soaking in the sunshine and enjoying the crazy wind as it danced off Lake Michigan. The atmosphere was fantastic. Blue sky with killer clouds, wind that makes you shiver but allows you to vascillate between the warmth of the sun and it's own coldness, and people chillin' everywhere... It was one of the last days of summer, and people were soaking in every last bit of it.

As the summer draws to a close, I find myself in great anticipation of fall. I just finished reading the post of a good friend of mine, where she also describes the joys of fall. I adore fall... It is one of my favorite seasons. As much as I tend to curse the midwest, deeply desiring to live in a place with more consistent weather, the ocean, and well, let's just say it, NO SNOW, I must say that the season of fall is a definite perk to living in Wisconsin. And I believe part of my love for fall has to do with such great childhood memories.

I can remember going to Elegant Farmer as a kid, and picking apples with my mom and dad (that's me and my dad above). They had ladders and everything that you could climb, and for a 5 year old, the place looked HUGE, with orchards just waiting to be explored. After picking bags of fresh apples, you could then head to a little stand to create your own carmel apple, complete with whatever other toppings you'd like. A child's version of paradise! So great. There were also pumpkin patches, though I don't remember doing that much as a kid. Just great, great memories of cold days, colorful leaves, and apple picking.

Fall... What a great color on God's pallete...

people who blog

You can't see me. I'm doing the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" dance. Here's why...

When I first started blogging, there were few other people I knew who had one. My brother was the first one I knew to enter the world of blogging, and he's the one who got me hooked. I remember when he first started it, I was like, "GEEK! GEEK!" endlessly taunting him. I did. I thought it was geeky. However, the more I read his blog, the more I wanted one. When I decided to take a road trip out to California, I thought it'd be cool to keep a journal along the way. Keeping a journal was not a new discipline for me, and a road trip would definitely provide good material. But then I thought, hey, what if people could travel with me? What if I could write from the road what kinds of things I was doing, thinking about, and experiencing for anyone who wanted to read it. That's when I decided to start my blog... and the phenomenon has stuck.

Here I am, like, a year and a half later, still blogging. I'm not sure why I'm so addicted to the idea. I know that when I started to write for Relevant Magazine and it seemed more people were reading my blog, I got even more excited to write.

But I want to spend a minute on talking about OTHER people who blog. Like I said, when I first started this whole thing, my brother was pretty much the only person I knew who had one. Shortly thereafter, he had a few links to other people who had blogs. I spent much of my time reading my brother's blog, and his friend's blogs. No one in my sphere of friends had one, so I spent most of my time reading theirs. Slowly but surely, more and more of my friends got into the idea of having a blog. One by one, they started to leave behind the same train of thought that I had about it being geeky, and give into the idea that it is an awesome creative outlet.

All of that being said, I would just like to welcome all of my friends who have recently decided that blogging would be a cool thing to do. I would just like to say that I still think this whole thing is a stellar idea, even though there are still some kinks to be worked out. I would just like to say, I love reading what is going on in each one of your lives.

Can I get a WOOT for people who blog?

playlist

Ok folks... A while back, I had posted a project that I wanted to try. My goal was to get ONE song suggestion from anybody who ever reads this blog to add to a "bloggers" playlist. I got a pretty good response, and have a decent playlist. It is as follows:

Sparks - Royksopp (suggested by Dave)
8:16am - 311 - (suggested by Justin)
Fire in the Head - Tea Party (suggested by Chris)
When The Dawn Breaks - Narcotic Thrust (suggested by Coloratura)
In Red - Lovedrug - (suggested by Joel)
The Trapeze Swinger - Iron & Wine (suggested by Kristy)
Someday - Nicole Nordeman (suggested by Katy)
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie (suggested by Parke)
Superman - Five For Fighting (New Album version) (suggested by Tom)
Solar System - Vigilantes of Love (suggested by Kim)
Listening to Otis Redding at Home during Christmas - Okkervil River (suggested by Scott)
Good Times - Edie Brickell (suggested by Odis)

Now, if I've missed your song, please forgive me and feel free to repost it. I am still taking suggestions (from people who HAVEN'T posted a song yet... yes, that means you can't post another song, Chris...). As you can see, I have a pretty good start to a playlist, but could use a few more. SO YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE! Hahaha...

Anyway, I'd like to thank those of you who DID contribute to this little project of mine. I rather enjoyed it, and I think I only know one song on the list. There's a wide variety of sounds listed here too... So thanks one and all for posting! I'll have to do another one sometime soon. Maybe a themed one or something.

Rock on my friends.

THWACIIW

(I think I'm addicted to using visual aids in my posts)

I love childrens books. It doesn't matter what age the book is for, if it's "young at heart" I love it! This may sound simplistic or adolescent, or whatever other big word you want to come up with for it... But I love them! As I've mentioned before, if I had the opportunity, skill, knowledge (and money) to open a children's bookstore, I'd be all over it! One of my favorites as I have mentioned before is "Click Clack Moo - Cows that Type". Others on the list include "The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish" (the edition I have has amazing illustrations), and "The Voice". "James and the Giant Peach" - loved it. Chronicles of Narnia - currently making my way through them. Nancy Drew books - I'm collecting the new, old hardcover versions of them (they're new, but they're in the old school style).

However, this book - The House With A Clock In It's Wall - I had completely forgetten about until just recently. In fact, I can't even remember what made me think of it, to be honest with you. But it came to mind the other day, and I decided I had to hunt down a copy. I can remember reading it as a kid (I was probably 10 or 11) and I can even tell you to this day exactly where it was located in the library. I remember when I was little thinking the cover was SO creepy that it had to be a good book. I remember reading it over and over and over again. The funny thing is? I don't remember any of the story, except for the obvious fact that there is a house, with a clock in it's walls.

I tried to hunt down this exact version (as shown above), but alas, I've only found newly designed books. I did find one copy of the old one on ebay, but it wasn't really worth it to me to go through the hassle of getting this version of the book. I did however, find a "best of John Bellairs" book at B&N, and decided to pick it up. Now, if only I could find time among my 4 novel-focused classes to read it!

Anyway, just a little nostalgia for you all this evening... I watched "American Graffiti" as a form of nostalgia today in my pop culture studies class, and I guess the nostalgia stuck with me the rest of the day...

lament

Let us take a moment of silence in lament... Lament over the fact that Sigur Ros' show in Madison is sold out. SOLD OUT! They're all the way from Iceland - not too often that they're here - and the show is sold out! AH! I'm SO not a happy camper about this! I was totally stoked to get to see them (provided I actually find someone to go with). They would be such an amazing band to see live... I would imagine a very magical evening in which I slept very, very well afterwards (they're music tends to put me to sleep - but in a good way!) But alas, I will not get to witness the magic that is Sigur Ros. I will have to wait again until they make the journey from Iceland to the States. I know you can't see my face, but I am pouting a great deal.

Ah well... Such is life.

I did pick up their new album tonight (as show above), along with Athlete's newest album (finally!), and an album by Neutral Milk Hotel (thanks to Jeff for the suggestion!) There are so many albums out right now that I totally want to purchase! New Death Cab For Cutie (I can't believe I actually haven't picked that up yet!), new David Gray, the soundtrack for Elizabethtown (I'm so excited to see Eastmountainsouth getting some exposure), and 30 Seconds To Mars has a new album out (I'm not super excited about it, but I have their first one and I'd be interested in hearing the second one). There were other ones I coveted as well as I was scouring the shelves at The Exclusive Co. However, the buck's gotta stop somewhere... couldn't buy them all. Slowly, I'm sure I'll accumulate more music than necessary. What can I say, I'm a music nut...

Still lamenting my Sigur Ros misfortune...

thoughts

The past year has been an interesting rollercoaster of many emotions. Some of you know the story of the past year of my life, and all of it's intricate parts, and the ups and downs that go with it. Some of you don't. But no matter what the case, I've made a few observations that I'd like to share with you. These are not exclusive to my own journey as I'm sure quite a few of you have experienced this as well, and these are definitely not NEW observations - a lot of these are basic "duhs" of life, yet so easily forgotten.

1.) Anger is easier than grace. Grace sounds like such a magical term to me. It sounds like this beautiful, far-off promised land where things are right and true... Where wounds can be healed, relationships mended, and journies continued. But you know what? Traveling to this far-off promised land promises only one thing - hills, valleys, roads under construction, potholes, severe weather - you name it, you'll see it. But anger, anger is like a house... The reason I say this is I think about days when there is bad weather, or I know I have to drive through road construction. What would I rather do? Stay in my little house and pout about it. I'd rather stay inside, and talk about how I wish the gas prices were lower, how I wish it wasn't raining, and that I didn't have to go 10 minutes on a detour. But you know what? I never reach my destination doing that. I never can fully enjoy where it is that I wanted to go because I never went. Instead, I stay in my house, mad. And I think that's how it is with anger and grace. Grace requires the tough, treacherous road. It's not easy. It requires some pain & pride being swallowed. But unless that road is taken, you can never fully experience the promised land of grace. Instead, you'll be sitting in your house, wishing you had grace, and making every annoyance out of the path to it.

2.) We hurt most the ones we love the most. I remember back in high school, listening to a live Counting Crows album. There's a song that's never been released on a studio album called "Chelsea" that I instantly fell in love with, and would listen to a great deal. There is a line in the song that goes "The things I do to people I love shouldn't be allowed." I remember at the time, being a naive 16 year old, and thinking to myself, I wonder what he's referring to. I wonder what terrible things he's done, and why he's done them to the people he loves. But this line has never resonated more with me than it has in the past year. Often times I wonder why the ones I love the most, the ones I would lay everything down for the, the ones I would travel to the ends of the earth for, are the ones I tend to hurt the most. Most often, I think it's because they're the most forgiving. Most often it's because I don't think I have the possibility of losing them, so my actions won't have any detrimental ramifications. Absolutely an incorrect assumption, and it definitely has ramifications.

3.) Change is good. Some of you know, I'm a sentimental sap. I like to hang on to just about anything because it has memory and meaning behind it. I mean, I got pouty when we got rid of our front door because the sound of the spring screeching would no longer be there. That spring brings back so many memories of my brother and I darting in and out of the door during the summers. It's a sound that indicated someone coming home. I loved that sound. And I got all sappy about our front door taken away. How sad is that? Anyway, that will give you a little framework for where I'm coming from. I don't let go easily. To memories, to places, to objects, to people, to relationships. And I've had to readjust my life this past year as I've had to let go of a lot of things. But it's good. Moving ahead is good. We wouldn't be where we are now if our ancestors had said, "We like to walk, let's forget the wheel." or "Photographs of people will suffice... They don't need to be moving pictures." What if Martin Luther had never made the change in his life that he did? Change is good... It is. And I'm learning that. I'm no Martin Luther, that's for sure. But change is inevitable, and I'm learning to roll with the punches. Granted, sometimes I let those punches take a sucker shot to the stomach, and then gripe about it. But it's a learning process none the less.

These are just a few of the thoughts I've been having recently, and felt like sharing. I know they're pretty vague for those of you who don't know me super well, and that those of you who DO know me well probably know what sorts of things I'm referring to. But it doesn't matter what I'm referring to. These are situations that happen all the time - with everyone. Situations to choose anger over grace, to hurt those we love, and to accept or deny change. I didn't want to write about specific events because these situations are continuos for me. Everyday, I have to make these decisions. Every day I need to decide what kind of person I want to be. Every day I need to learn what humility and love really looks like in human form. And every day, I fall down and pick myself back up again. It's a continuous journey...

farmland

So, I'd like to say that I pride myself on being a city girl - typically, I love the city. I love the giant buildings, the craziness of all the people rushing around, the wall to wall stores and shops, all of the smells of a city, the access to just about anything that comes with being in a city, the different "sides" of a city (downtown side, artsy side, touristy side, business side) and lots of other things. I have never lived in a city, but someday, I would like to.

However, despite my love for the city and desire to be a part of one, I think there's a special place in my heart for farmland. I drove around for a while this afternoon as I had a lot of thinking to take care of. If you don't know me that well, know that about me. I think a lot. Too much at times. As I was doing this, I was driving all over the town I grew up in. I have lived here in Wisconsin, which is full of farms for almost my entire life. As I was driving today, I saw things that brought a smile to my face. Silly things that most people wouldn't think twice about, but for some reason, I found endearing. A house with clothes out on a clothes line. Fields of stalks. A really strange looking scarecrow. Wagons filled with pumpkins for sale. Cows roaming about. I don't know... It just felt so great driving around through this landscape. Granted, cities are pretty cool, but it doesn't have the same feel when it comes to driving through it as this sort of atmosphere...

So, maybe I'm a city girl. Maybe I'm a country girl. Maybe it just means that I find joys in each of those surroundings. It'll be interesting to see where I head though once I move out next spring/summer. The city sounds so exciting, yet there's something so comforting about surburbia. Who knows...

spam

Sorry folks, but due to spam comments, I've added a word verifcation function to my blog. I didn't want to only because it makes commenting a little annoying, but the spam comments are even more annoying. So, I hope you all continue to comment! Don't let the man get you down!

Um, it just felt right saying that there...

stupidity, swings, & saying goodbye

It was a night of stupidity, swings, & saying goodbye.

My evening started out with a good friend of mine. She had a massive craving for Grasshopper Fudge ice cream - the flavor of the day at good old Kopps. After her cone took a spill to the floor, and she purchased another, we made our way into a bizarre evening. I was in the mood for taking pictures, so we wandered around Waukesha taking random shots... Found ourselves at Target where I bought four different colored lightbulbs so that we could play with light in our photo adventures. We then made our way over to Starbucks to visit a friend working the overnight shift. It was there we engaged in a coloring contest with I swear the fattest crayons I have EVER colored with. Our evening was topped off with great boy-band music to which we created ridiculous dance moves... The best one being to O-Town's "All Or Nothing" (we had some killer dance moves and hand motions, I tell ya).

On the way home, I took a night drive as I often do when I have lots of thoughts in my head. Night drives are the best... Windows rolled down, good tunes, and brilliant stars out on back country roads. As I was driving, I started to think about how much fun I had had during the evening, and that it was an evening of sheer stupidity. We did things we never would have done normally, but didn't care that it was utterly ridiculous that we were doing it. It was the best feeling - kind of freeing and liberating. I was trying to imagine what else felt like that, and it hit me - swings. I absolutely adore swings. I'm 25 and still love to swing on them. There's something so childlike about it, yet, so theraputic. I don't know what it is. Something about them just makes everything that's bad in life seem to disappear. When you're up in the top position of swinging, you can see so much farther than in a ground position. I don't know... My night just seemed like flat out, childhood bliss, like swinging on swings.

When I got home, my night became a little more sobering. The sheer stupidity came to a halt, and I needed to shift into "adult" mode. I received an email from a friend which required a lot of processing on my behalf. I wrote a novel of an email back to this friend of mine, and while I was writing, I realized just how hard it is to say goodbye - especially when neither person involved were the cause of the goodbye. When an outside force causes two people to have to say goodbye to everything that once was, it almost seems harder than if it was brought on by one or the other. I don't deal well with change, and this is one change I strongly did not want to admit to... But it's very possible that saying goodbye to a certain situation has become a necessary evil. I'm not sure where things will go from here...

Well, I suppose it's pretty late - my little computer clock says 1:40. It's been a while since I've been up this late...
I promise to have a more uplifting and positive post soon. I just needed to do a little processing tonight.
Thanks for bearing with me.

Night y'all.

clean-out

It's that time of year... Well, maybe not to the rest of the world, but in the life of the Wisconsin Dolan's, it sure is. Clean-out time. And not just of all the junk that has accumulated within our house, but other ways as well. As I'm sitting here, taking a little break (ok, procrastinating a little) on gutting out my room - a much needed process - in preparation for a fresh coat of primer and paint next weekend, I've been thinking about a "clean-out" in other areas too. My dad is going to do a detox thing, where all he eats are raw fruits and vegetables, along with supplimental shakes. He is doing that for 21 days to get out all of the horrible chemicals we put into our bodies every day. My mom has to change what she eats as well, so the Dolan pantry/refridgerator/cupboard will look drastically different in the next few weeks - lots of natural and organic foods. And I gladly welcome the change. A "clean-out" of my system is well needed, and welcomed.

I'm also trying to do a "clean-out" in a leisure sense. Didn't know you had a leisure sense, did you? Who knows why I just typed that... It just came out. Anyway, I have gotten into a nasty habit of watching way too much television, and spending way too much time on my computer just futzing around. I'm not saying that either of these in and of themselves are wrong in any way, but too much of anything is not a good thing. So, as school begins today which kind of feels like a "new beginning" - new class schedule, new work schedule - I am going to try to do a "clean-out" of things that I don't necessarily feel are a good use of all my time. Oh, every so often is fine. I mean, I have to do the usual blogging and check my email every so often. And of course, there's at least one or two TV shows I'll want to watch (24 in January can't come soon enough!). But I'm hoping to spend my time doing the things I love and should be doing, but am just not disciplined enough to get off my lazy butt an do.

We shall see where this new "clean-out" leads me. I'm hoping it'll prove a significant change, and hopefully a more productive semester. I'm excited for a new schedule and the changes ahead.

1000

I realize this post will probably sound a bit narcissistic, but I just thought I'd share my excitement - I've reached 1000 profile views. I know that sounds lame, but it actually means that I have a fair amount of readers out there. Unless there's some weirdo out there who just keeps checking it 50x a day to see if I've changed anything. Hehehe...

Anyway, I realize that there's quite a few of you from all over the states. It'd be awesome to see where everyone is from! So, if you read this on a semi-regular basis, post a comment and let me know where you're from! Let's see how many different states we can get!

fancies

I feel as though I'm being a jerk for not writing about the Katrina disaster at all... My thoughts are still really jumbled about it, still processing, and to be honest, I have had so many different discussions, thoughts, and news stories thrown at me that I'm not even sure I could regurgitate something worthwhile at this point.

So instead, I shall start the first of the many thoughts I had while traveling out east this past week - that which I fancy. Two things in particular: children's bookstores and photography.

Children's bookstores... There aren't many that exist, at least none where I live. While in Cambridge, MA I came across this amazing Curious George themed children's bookstore. It was amazing! I fell in love with it instantly. It had books galore, toys, stuffed animals, little corners with fun carpets for little kids to sit on while they read, and a staircase that lead to downstairs treasures for the older kiddies. I could have spent hours in there. So many books and toys to look at! I found an amazing copy of the entire Chronicles of Narnia, and tons of books that I read as a kid like Ramona Quimby books, and Nancy Drew (but alas, no Bobsey Twins). Needless to say, this place was sheer heaven... Now, this may sound weird to some of you who don't know me. I don't know why, maybe it's my love for little kids and the fact that I love to watch them read, learn, imagine, and dream... Maybe it's because I've always been a sucker for cartoons and moral stories, but there is something so wonderful about children's books, and even more wonderful when they're all in once place. While I was in this bookstore, I had such a great desire to open up my own children's bookstore. This is not a new idea - I've shared it with a few people before. But this time, I even said, "Maybe I should start to take some business classes..." If you know even a little bit about me, this is HUGE because I'm not a business person in the slightest. But I'd consider becoming one if it meant I could open up my own bookstore... How amazing would that be?

Photography... While on vacation, one typically partakes in taking pictures of where one stays. I too participated in this vacation tradition, only, I didn't want to document where I was as much as I wanted to get some really artistic shots. Granted, I did not get as many as I would have hoped, but I got a few that I was pretty excited about. Over the past couple of days, I've been checking out some different Flickr accounts. I belong to a group of people who are readers of Relevant Magazine, and I must say, I'm totally impressed with their photography skills. So amazing... Some of them are absolutely genious. I have become greatly inspired to take better pictures... The one thing I'm struggling with though is how to find great subjects. Some of these pictures, I think to myself "I'm never in a situation where I could take a picture like that." For instance, I don't have any surfer friends, I don't know anyone who teaches ballet or has a little girl taking ballet, I don't know any good graffiti spots... I know, I know... I just have to hunt a little more, and become a little bit more bold with taking pictures. But I must say that over the past few days, I have become TOTALLY inspired to take more pictures, and to learn how to be a better photographer. Any tips would be greatly welcomed.

Those are my current "fancies". Just thought I'd share them for the moment... More thoughts to come in the next few days.

home

Well folks, at 8:30 this evening, my feet crossed the threshold of my house. Praise the Lord! Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love to travel. Boston and Washington DC were great, and I had a lot of fun, but this time around there was something so great about coming home. And here I am. Home.

The next few days should prove to be relaxing and exciting... I don't have a ton planned which is great, and then a Labor Day picnic with my sister-in-law's family. Fun times, fun times.

I had some thoughts during my travels that I found myself too tired to write about, but hopefully I'll be able to convey some of those ideas in the days to come. Thanks to all of you who continue to read my blog... You have more patience than I could ever have! hehehe...

Have a good night one and all.

DC

Today, we hit DC. There aren’t any great stories about the things we saw or the things we did today. We did almost all of the main spots on the mall and past the mall… The only thing we didn’t get to see that we wanted to was the tomb of the unknown soldier. Anyway, I’ll just let you look at some fun pictures I took. These are only a few of the 250 that I took – how crazy is that? Needless to say, the girl I am on this trip with probably wasn’t too happy because I was ALWAYS taking pictures. But here’s just a couple of the things we saw:



We started and ended with the capitol… This was at the beginning of our walk.



This was a scary sculpture we found as we were walking through the National Gallery of Art Sculpture Garden.



Here is a piece of art made out of tiles that I thought was kinda cool.



TONS of geese in the reflecting pool…



This is one of my favorite memorials – the Korean War Memorial. I thought this was kind of a fun angle, even though the statues faces are a little creepy.



This is the White House and the back of a tent where a woman has camped out in protest of the war. I believe that she had a son who died in the war, and I thought her signs were kind of interesting…

10

All the fun had thus far in Boston came to a screeching halt this morning. Now, mind you, we’re back on track as we just checked into our Hyatt Hotel in DC (can you believe we’re in a Hyatt? SO FUN!) We just ordered a pizza, are watching Friends, and enjoying the fancy atmosphere… However, this morning, we were singing a sadder tune.

Around 9:30 this morning, I was going to pull the car around so that we could pack our stuff, check out and hit the road kind of early. However, come to find, my keys were nowhere to be found. I searched through everything but to no avail. I found nothing. I thought maybe I had locked them in the trunk. The night before, I had retrieved a few items out of the car, and with my arms full, I thought maybe I forgot to take them with me. Because I couldn’t find my keys, I had no other choice than to call a locksmith to see if indeed they were in the trunk. The locksmith showed up, unlocked my car, and I crawled into the trunk to unlatch it, only to find my trunk absent of my keys. I had no idea what in the world to do… And so, we decided to have a key made. Oh what an ordeal that was! We had to find out what the number combination was for cutting the key. I called Saturn Customer Service, I talked to a guy in the parts department, and five keys later, the locksmith finally had to call a dealership to get the right key combo. No one would give us the right number, The locksmith told me that it was intentional so that Saturn (or GM) would be the ones to get money. Anyway, this whole process took about 4 hours, and oodles of money… Let’s just say that when 2:30 hit, and we were in our car leaving Boston, I breathed a sigh of relief… Our only hope was that we would have no problem getting to DC.

And it was so… No problems. We made it to DC without getting lost! So great! Typically, I am really good at navigating and reading maps, but New England is a tad difficult to figure out – especially Boston. Once we got outside of MA, we were good to go. We drove through The Bronx (which was really the only city we were able to identify). We drove over what I’d like to believe (until we learn otherwise) was the Brooklyn Bridge (such an awesome bridge to drive over). Drove through Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland… And I’m happy to say we hit our tenth state of the trip today, not including Wisconsin obviously. 10. Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Massechusettes, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland.
All but Illinois and Indiana were a new experience for me…

So, no pictures today. I tried to snap a picture of the locksmith van as I was completely bored sitting in a crazy hot parking garage, but it didn’t really turn out. And we didn’t get any good driving shots. Ya’ll will have to wait until tomorrow, but I promise to have some good ones. We’re headed to all the “hot spots” of DC tomorrow. Our hotel is just down the street from the Mall, so we’re good to go.

Hope all is well with you all.
Rock on my friends.

sites

(forewarning – LONG POST!)

Destinations: Salem and Harvard. We started out the morning by grabbing breakfast at this awesome little café down the street from our hotel – the Paris Creperie. It is this small café with Paris photographs, faux Eiffel towers with Christmas lights all over the place. Each individual table has a funky little lamp on it too… Great atmosphere. Great food. After we grabbed our morning crepes and one of the best cups of soy chai I think I’ve ever had, we made our second attempt at driving in Boston. We were a tad frightened because our drive in was not entirely pleasant, however, we were greatly surprised at how much we had already come to understand how the city worked, and found it not that difficult to maneuver around.

The first place we headed was Salem. It wasn’t entirely what we had imagined, but we enjoyed ourselves anyway. We did the Salem Witch Museum – if any of you are planning a trip to Salem, the Salem Witch Museum is not really worth the $6.50 for the presentation – it was pretty weak. However, at least we hit one of the “attractions”. We walked around down Essex street past the Peabody Essex Museum, and just kind of checked out the town at our own pace. We came across a few buildings of importance. The first being the first church which was built in 1692. The second is Town Hall, which is pictured below:



Also, and this goes out to Chris my northern neighbor – saw this sign, and I HAD to take a picture… PAMPLEMOUSSE!



After Salem, we decided we wanted to see Harvard. We made our way back to Cambridge, and were quite unsuccessful in finding parking. Due to the nature of the city, driving around finding parking was not a fun task. We saw that the red line subway was in the center of the city, and knew that there was a stop for the red line really close to our hotel. So, we headed back to the hotel to park the car, hopped the red line, and headed down to Harvard.

Harvard was so beautiful… We totally just soaked in the atmosphere, and even attempted to look like we were students. We found one of their many libraries (pictured below) and attempted to get in, but found that you need to have a student ID to get in. Blasted!



We headed to a Harvard gift shop, picked up some souvies (mine included a hat/T-shirt combo), and walked around Cambridge. We went to a Curious George themed children’s bookstore which only confirmed my dream and desire to open a children’s bookstore (I’ll save that story for another post). We were soon met by a downpour of rain. Finding ourselves to feel like drown rats, we sought shelter from the rain in an au bon pain shop, where we ate fruit and waited out the rain. After that we hit “The Coop”, another Harvard associated bookstore/gift shop. After hanging around town for a while, we finally decided to head back. Before we got back on the subway, I took this shot of Cambridge at night… Not sure what it’s of, exactly, but thought it looked cool. Someone then asked us directions to the Coop, and we were actually able to give them! We felt like Bostonians!



Finally, we headed back to our side of town, and headed out to dinner. We had decided earlier in the day that we needed to eat East Coast Sea Food. Despite the fact that I’m not a huge seafood fan, I thought, what the heck, I’ll give it a go. We had seen the Oyster House last night, and thought it’d be a great place to go. Little did we know that it is the oldest restaurant in America, and has some of the greatest food. The atmosphere rocked, and our food was unbelievable. I had pan seared haddock that was so yummy – and for me to say that about fish is a HUGE thing. All in all, great day! Loved it… Tomorrow, we head to DC… Good times had by all.

self-tour

We walked around Boston today, just checking out the town. After a stop at the Starbucks across the street from our hotel, we headed out to check things out, not having a CLUE as to where anything was. We quickly found ourselves in front of the State building, where tour trolleys pick up people for tours of the city. Sarah and I, while trying to avoid looking like tourists, figured what better way to see the city since we didn't know our way around. However, when the driver of the trolley told us that it was $28, we were like, "Um, we'll think about it." We figured we could probably figure out a decent self-tour. He did however leave us with a parting gift, which became our treasured item of the day - a map of all the sites that we would have see on the tour. We were set for the day...



The first thing we came across is this first picture - Boston Common. All these little kids were playing in the fountain, and I found myself with a deep desire to just sit and watch their uninhibited playful spirits. We watched all the people enjoying their Sunday afternoon, and then continued on our way.



The next thing we came across - the Public Gardens. It was so beautiful. There were trees, flowers, statues and fountains everywhere. I took a bunch of pictures while at the gardens, but this one was my favorite. Now, if you were to ask me what the monument was actually for, I'm not sure that I would be able to tell you... But I just really loved this statue for some reason.

We went saw the original Cheers, some amazing churches, went to a pretty cool local bookstore/cafe, and ate at Stephanie's on Newberry, this semi-fancy restaurant where we had Sunday brunch on the patio. A great relaxing afternoon. Unaware of just how early things shut down in Boston on Sundays (most everything is closed by 7pm), we headed towards Quincy Market for dinner and evening activities. We got there just as things were starting to close down, but were lucky enough to have SOME entertainment - the Yo-Yo Man. This young guy was out in the square, doing yo-yo tricks. He attracted quite a crowd. While my initial thought was, "This is kind of cheesy" the guy was pretty humorous, and it was actually a pretty entertaining show. And all the little kids adored him! It was so cute! Here's a picture of him doing one of his tricks:



Because most things were shut down, Sarah and I decided to eat some dinner in our hotel, and make it a night to just relax in the hotel wathing movies. All in all - a very relaxing day. Lots of things to see, lots of pictures taken, great food, great sites (the architecture here is gorgeous)...

Tomorrow should prove to be pretty fun... I'll post more tomorrow about the MA happenings. Ok, I'm going to take off. I feel like I should have some sort of "sign off" signature, like "Seacrest Out". Any suggestions?

MA

Here we are. Boston.

Yesterday, my friend Sarah and I packed my car, and headed out east. We left around 4am on Saturday morning, and after a few confusing directions by Yahoo maps, over $30 in unexpected tolls, and a crazy goosechase to try to find our hotel, we finally settled into our hotel by 1am Sunday morning, I can finally say WE'RE HERE! LOOOOOOOOOONG drive, but we made it.

We have the next couple of days to wander around MA... Check out Harvard, Quincy Market, Salem... Not sure what we'll do when, but hopefully it'll be a fun couple days of relaxing. Then, onto DC for a couple days.

I'll check in every so often and maybe even post a picture or two.
Hope all is well with everyone else out there.

Rock on my friends.

freakish

why am I so intrigued, enthralled, energized, mystified, captured, whatever word you so choose to use, by something that is so utterly freakish and destructive?

I decided to seize the opportunity to write right now, in a moment of inspiration, of pure energy...

If you don't already know this about me, I'm obsessed with thunderstorms. Ever since I was a little kid when I had my very own weather station in a tree (of all places!), I've had this astounding fascination with storms. I'm not entirely sure why... While for most, sunshine brings happiness and joy, thunderstorms energize me. Seriously, I'm like a small child on Christmas morning when they come. Unfortunately we haven't had any really good storms this summer. And I'm totally bummin'.

I would, however, like to take this moment to make a disclaimer/apology. I realize that storms are immensely destructive, and have caused lots of families major heartache. That is the one thing that sickens me about my love for storms - that they are such destructive things. However, in some respects, I love it because it's only a small ounce of the amount of power that God has, and that to me is an absolutely fabulous thing to behold.

About 10 minutes ago, I wandered outside amidst a very eery setting. The sky was this mad shade of orange. I took a picture of it... of course, it doesn't really do it justice, but you can see a small sliver of blue through the crazy orange clouds. Within 10 minutes, the sky shifted to a midnight blue with purplish hues, about the fastest I have ever seen the sky change colors. Granted, I have seen storms roll in pretty fast, but that's just going from light to dark, cloudless to cloudy... these were completely different colors. WILD! Right now, it's very very still... I can only hear the hum of the power lines, and the slight chirping of crickets. Every so often, a quiet rumbling in the distance, and I can hear the weather station on the television downstairs... but these sounds are muted against the deafening silence that's outside right now. Usually, silence is so overlooked. But in a situation where you'd expect noise to abound, to have silence, it's unavoidably noticable.

My mom was watching the weather... I live in a city about 45 minutes outside of Madison, one of Wisconsin's largest cities. They were saying that a man at the local mall was picking up falling debris... It was mail, actual letters, that were addressed with Madison addresses. Baseball cards, bills, letters... all of these things, the storm had picked up and carried with it. I guess 12 houses were ruined about a half an hour from here. They were showing 6 different tornadoes on the radar.

And yet, all we have is silence.

I suppose I should be grateful. I mean, I could have been one of those people who's house was destroyed. I'm not wishing for that by any means. The wind has started to pick up a little, but still, now that it is dark, you would never know that there was a storm coming. It's silent, and still. I hope to see a great light show and the mighty roar of the sky, but that may just not happen. For now, I'll just continue to sit by my window, and let the pre-storm atmosphere linger in my room...

I'll try to post a picture later on this evening, and let you know if the storm ever unleashed it's wrath.

missed

I'm sitting here listening to Sigur Ros, and thinking about how much I miss playing the piano. Not having a piano to play is not the main reason why I am saddened that I no longer have a "church home", but I realized about a month ago, not only will I no longer have a church to call home, but I will not have a piano at my disposal any time I so choose to play. Before, when I was feeling a bit sad, pensive, or just musically inclined, I'd head on over to my church and play my little heart out. God bless them for giving me church keys. No one around, with only one overhead light on, it became a hideout of sorts... I could play as loudly or softly as I desired... I could play the same song as many times as I wanted... I could even let my voice squeak a few notes out, with no one around to hear it... I loved it. Playing songs by ear, playing songs I created, or just sitting in front of the black and white keys... Nothing used to calm my nerves, eat away at my frustration, and jumpstart my creative energy like playing the piano... and I miss it.

and I simply must say, I'm incredibly addicted to
"Saeglópur" by Sigur Ros. all of their songs are
so beautiful, but this is my new favorite.
a bit more upbeat than stuff off their ( ) album.
but beautiful.

I gotta find a piano somewhere...

plug

Ok... so this may be a shameless plug for people whose creativity and talents I admire, and whom I have appreciated knowing over the years, but if you're looking for any new worship tunes, you should check out both of these albums, as they are amazing.

"Changed" - Music at Mars Hill
This album features the writing styles of Aaron Neiquist and Troy Hatfield, both great singer/songwriters.
You can download songs from this album at:
www.musicatmars.com

"You Are Here" - Cindy Beier
Cindy is a good friend of mine, and this is her debut album. She sings a few originals, a song written by Troy Hatfield, and even a couple beautifully arranged old hymns. You can pick up her album here:
www.cindybeier.com

These two albums have been pretty consistently playing on my iPod, and I highly suggest checking them out.
Thanks.

cornucopia

it's hip.
it's in.
it's the new lingo.

Cornucopia.

I was at a Blockbuster store the other night renting a movie with my friend. The young gentleman behind the counter had a pleasant demeanor, but was borderline over-the-top. With a cheesy smile, he assured us we had picked a winner of a movie, and would be thoroughly satisfied. Not only were we taking home a great theatrical treat, but along with our movie, we would be receiving a cornucopia of coupons. Yes, this is actually what he said. Cornucopia of coupons. I even questioned him to make sure I heard him right, and he assured me he had used the term correctly. I could have cared less about whether he had actually used it correctly. It was the fact that he had used it at all.

So like I said. It's hip. It's in. It's the new lingo.
Use it as often as you can.
I tried to get the word "slick" to catch on,
and I tried to get "towncat" to be the new hip phrase.
Both failed miserably.
But I have faith.
Cornucopia will prevail.
It's gonna be hot.

Just remember, you heard it here first.

project

Quick post once again about the music playlist project...

I've gotten a pretty good list started, but could still use more suggestions. In case you missed the original post, here's the plan: I am making a "Blog" playlist. I'm taking a suggestion from anyone who wants to contribute one, and creating a playlist with those songs. Here again are the rules:

1.) Keep the vulgarity to a minimum if possible.
2.) It has to be accessible through iTunes.
I don't download "free" MP3s, and I don't have the money to buy a full album for one song.
3.) You must attach your name to the post with the song
4.) Please choose just ONE song!

Thanks to those of you who already contributed (and especially to those who were disciplined enough to only pick one song). The list is pretty unique, and should be pretty interesting.

But the list needs more song! So suggest away, my friends!

velvet elvis

I recently just read a book entitled "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. Now, Rob Bell has this tendency to shake up, and reshape my thinking... and I love it.

Faith: Brick wall, or trampoline? If you pull one brick out of the wall, will the rest of it tumble? Or a spring that when pulled, has some stretching room? A wall that is dependent upon each brick, or a spring that is merely supportive?

Heaven: A place we will eventually arrive at? Or a place we were designed to bring to earth. "On earth as it is in heaven..." If we have the cabability to bring heaven to earth, we must also then have the ability to bring hell to earth... Hell on earth... Sound familiar? What if we tried making it more like heaven?

Evangelism: We always talk about how we need to take Jesus to another country. China. India. Iraq. South Africa. England. France. Russia. Why? Is he missing in those countries? Or is more about journeying together, and recognizing his already existent presence everywhere?

These are some of the ideas that are present in Velvet Elvis. Keep in mind, I'm just skimming the surface. One of the greatest things about this book are all the questions. Yes, questions. And unanswered ones at that. Rob Bell talks about how so often, we're afraid to ask questions. We're afraid to let God in on what our hearts really want to know, what we really want to ask. In this book, he challenges us to ask those questions - no matter what.

I've written a review for Relevant magazine that can be found at this address: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=7000 Or you can click on the title of this post. It has some quotes from the book, and where you can get more info on it. I highly recommend checking it out...

Not everything in the book sits well with me. It's not supposed to. They're someone elses questions, not mine. But I have found myself with a lot of the same questions on my tongue... Glad to know I'm not alone.

And on a side note... No I do not work for Rob Bell, I'm not related to Rob Bell, I don't even know Rob Bell, nor do I worship him. I appreciate his gift of communication the way someone might appreciate a painter, a musician, a writer, a movie maker... when someone communicates something that resonates deep within my being, I'm appreciative.

And I like to share.

new idea

As I was publishing my last post, an idea occured to me. Now, I don't know that I can afford this idea... Granted, I really don't have THAT many people who visit this blog, but who knows - if people get really into it, I could be in trouble. But I want to try it anyway.

I'm going to make a Blog Mix I think. So here's the plan... Post one of your favorite songs or just a song you'd like to share with me because you think I might like it, or you just really really love it. Here's a couple rules though:

1.) Keep the vulgarity to a minimum if possible.
2.) It has to be accessible through iTunes.
I don't download "free" MP3s, and I don't have the money to buy a full album for one song.
3.) You must attach your name to the post with the song
4.) Please choose just ONE song!

Then, after a while I will collect all the songs and compile a new list. It'll be cool, I think - really random! But it'll be a collection of a bunch of different tastes and styles across the board. Like, I might get some metal or hard core music from a Canadian Bomber-lovin' boy, some killer beats from an Illinois graphic designer, a hip hop suggestion from a Cub-lovin' Eminem fan, something mellow and meaningful from a Family Feud contestant, or something I hadn't even thought of from a Texan translator! We'll see...

Be creative! Think of a cool song to add to the Blog Mix.
Let the fun begin.

uscs mix

So, work is getting a bit tough to trudge through... Don't get me wrong, I am entirely grateful for the fact that I have a well paying job, that they are willing to work around my school schedule, and I'm not even working 40 hours a week this summer. I'm even MORE grateful that in a mere 3 weeks, I have vacation and once that is over with, I will be back to a school schedule. Rock on for that.

However, I still have three weeks to make it through at work, and I thought to myself that maybe a new playlist would help. I've made it through all of my current playlists way too many times. Therefore, it was high time I put together a new playlist with some newly acquired music.

And I share that list with you:

Bad Reputation - Senses Fail (Joan Jett version n/a on iTunes - sadness)
Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack
Cross My Heart - The Rocket Summer
Sound of Settling - Death Cab for Cutie
Crazy Mary - FM Static
Sidewalks - Story of the Year
Permanent - Acceptance
Square One - Coldplay
Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Progress - Mute Math
The City Lights - The Umbrellas
Constellations - Jack Johnson
If There Is I Haven't Found It Yet - Reindeer Section
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
Wires - Athlete
Day By Day - Five For Fighting (dug this CD out of the "old tunes" pile)
Today Was A Good Day - Jason Hartwell
When The Stars Go Blue - Tyler Hilton & Bethany Joy Lenz
Son's Gonna Rise - Citizen Cope & Santana
Blackbird - Eros

So far, I dig this mix... We'll see how it goes though. Hoping it'll get me through the next three week. Then, three weeks, I'm headed to Boston (God-willing) for a roadtrip. I'm headed out there with my good friend Sarah and hopefully we'll create a good mix. It's always more fun to create a playlist with someone else - especially when memories are attached. So that should rock... Then, I'll have to create some new school mixes. There's a lot of good albums coming out soon, so hopefully I'll have new tunes. Word on the street is, Death Cab for Cutie has a new album August 30th, David Crowder towards the end of September, Sneaker Pimps are sometime soon, Postal Service is rumored to have something coming out in the near future... And has anyone heard about the new Jimmy Eat World? I heard something a while back, but no idea if that's any time soon...

Alright, that's all for now. More good tunes to come.

baby city

Ok, so the top picture is a picture of Angelo Novelli. He was born three weeks ago. The second picture is Carter & Enzo Novelli - twin brothers that were just born on Thursday. Jack Sundstedt is due any day now.

My friend Cindy released her first CD this evening, and held a concert to kick off the release. While I was there, it was baby city. Not only did quite a few people (most of whom I didn't know) have babies, a lot of people were expecting as well. And then the Novelli family is blessed with 3 babies, and other babies are on the way: Sundstedt Baby (come on Jack!) and my friends Vicky and Laurie are pregnant too - Baby Brown and Baby James... Babies all over the place! So great though... I love 'em. I have to say that seeing so many families, and spending time with my friend's kids makes me long so badly to be a wife and mom. I have no idea if this is the plan God has in store for me, but I sure hope so. I look at these new little lives, and I hear my friends talk about their love for their kids and the miracle of watching them be born, and it makes me hope and pray that I get to experience even one ounce of the joy they are experiencing. Who knows... Maybe I'll only be blessed with getting to be an aunt at some point in the future.

Whatever the case, I'm enjoying baby city! They're so cute, and so much fun to have around! YAY for Angelo, Enzo, and Carter who are already here, and for Jack, Baby Brown, and Baby James who are on the way!

community

Warning: Large amounts of unprocessed thoughts to ensue

This week I was able to be a part of an amazing community. I worked at a youth conference down in Wheaton, IL with some of the coolest people in the world. But as I began to think about the week, I realized how much healthy community was lacking in my life, and I began to realize just how vital community is to one's spiritual journey.

For the past 9 months, I have not been attending the church I was a part of for the past 5 years. Until this past week, I hadn't taken communion in almost a year. And I have never felt the effects of my situation more than I have this week. I was brought to tears a couple times throughout the week about just how far away God feels. I was talking with a friend of mine, telling him that I'm not angry with God, I still desire to learn about Him, and I hate feeling the way I do, but I can't help it. God feels so far away, and I believe a good part of it is because I do not have a community that I belong to.

I have a small group made up of 7 other individuals. Each of them have been burned by the same thing I have, so we're not the most encouraging to one another. It's a little tough when everyone in the group goes through the same thing - there's no outside perspective, no outside energy to lift each other up. So while I have that "community" it's not the healthiest situation. We don't challenge each other the way we ought. We don't encourage each other the way we ought. And we definitely don't teach each other the way we ought. I'm not even sure we love each other the way that we ought.

This feels a bit like just a bunch of ramblings. And I suppose that's what this is... however, I've just been thinking a lot about how vital community is, and how drastically one's heart can change if not plugged into a healthy one. I know that in time, I will find another community. I know that this feeling of distance between God and I will eventually become less and less of a gap. But for now, it's definitely uncomfortable. It makes me uneasy, unsettled, and frustrated. These feelings of a sub-par relationship with God (which I know will never be perfect, but I know can be better than what it is) weighs heavily on my brain, and I pray that change is around the corner.

Thanks for listening to my thoughts, fears and frustrations.
Sometimes they're written out of intense emotion, but at the same time, it's how I feel, you know?

More ponderings to follow...

m.i.a.

It's been a bit since I last posted, and may indeed be a while until I post again. I am about an hour away from leaving to go down to Wheaton, IL to work my 4th summer at SEMP (Students Equipped to Minister to Peers - it's a youth conference). Both excitement and nerves have hit my stomach, and my stomach is unsure how to digest them. Lots of changes this year... Both of my sidekicks are gone (I will most definitely miss my music buddy and everything that I learn from Aaron, and I will for sure miss my roomie with whom I have late night talks and laughs with)...Another friend will be missing this year - Jarred - and OH how I will miss his laughs (so unbelievably contageous!). Also, a little rearranging of leadership - I will be working under my brother for the first time ever. We haven't around each other this long (a week) since I was probably 12. Also, our shepherd for the week - Mark - is waiting on pins and needles for his wife who is due with twins any day. And there are a whole mess of new comers to the game this year. So lots of changes... But I'm anticipating great things. Great challenges, but great rewards as well. I'll try to post if I can...

But I just thought I'd give you all a heads up as to where I was so you didn't think I was MIA.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, and listen to my inconsistent ramblings.

Rock on, my friends.

an awakening

The G8 summit has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I wrote an article at Relevant called "An Awakening" where I discuss some of these thoughts... You can read it at the link below, or click on the title of this post. People have the ability to post their thoughts on the article as well as the issue at hand, so if you want to check out what other people are thinking, you can pop over there...

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=6782

This morning I thought a lot about Tony Blair and London, but the day slowly distracted me until I forgot about it. It wasn't until I got home tonight, and was like, "Oh my gosh... How horrible of me to have forgotten..." I'm still amidst processing it all, and will post more about it when it's not 2am in the morning.

So much going on in the world, it can be a bit overwhelming at times.

happy fourth

Fourth of July. Came quickly this year. I have to say, this is my favorite non-religious holiday. Granted, there aren't a TON of non-religious holidays, but this one is by far my favorite. You can have St. Patricks Day (and I'm even incredibly Irish), you can have Valentines Day, you can have Thanksgiving (that sounds terrible, doesn't it?), you can have pretty much any other holiday, but The Fourth of July is mine.

I'm a fireworks junkie. Oddly enough, I didn't make it to any fireworks displays this year. I was able to watch them from a field, watching four different counties all in the horizon. Our next door neighbors were setting them off. But I didn't actually make it to an official fireworks display. While I could have carried on with my own tradition (I have a secret spot where I watch them from my car), I just didn't have the "umph" to go. But I would still consider myself a fireworks junkie. I have no idea why I'm so utterly fascinated with colorful flames in the sky... It's like waves - I'm completely fascinated by water tumbling over itself. There's something just so magical about fireworks. I love them. If I ever have the ability to be proposed to, I think it would ROCK to be proposed to under fireworks...Just a total side thought there. I remember I went to a friend's wedding, and as we were leaving the reception, and bursting before us were huge fireworks. Amazing.

I hope that everyone had a happy forth, filled with fun and fireworks.

war of the worlds

What can I say... After all these years, Stevie still has the magic. This movie exceeded my expectations (I tried to keep them low because of all the buzz about it, and it being a "summer blockbuster"), shocked me in multiple ways, and renewed my hope in movie magic. I know, I know, that's putting a lot of weight on this movie. But I think it's worth it.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, therefore I won't write anything about it. Please, if you choose to comment, be respectful of others who may be reading it who have yet to see it.

But I'll leave you with this though.
This movie is a must.
Go see it.

indianwood man

have you ever had those moments where something keeps reoccurring in the oddest of times and places? Where something you had completely forgotten about resurfaces, and by the time you've nearly forgotten it again, you find yourself there once again, in some sort of cyclical game?

there is this man... we will call him indianwood man, for that is the street he used to live on. when I was younger, he intrigued me a great deal. with long brown hair, a gentle demeanor and an artsy way about him, I would slow my pace as I passed his house where he would be remodeling his old school yellow convertible volkswagon bug. he seemed to be out there all the time, working on that car, which was a beauty. in high school, I went with a friend to a family gathering where, with no idea of their friendship, they met up with indianwood man's family. it was there I talked with indianwood man and his family for the first time. our meeting seemed to me to be very random. he worked at the local grocery store, and I would often run into him in one of the isles. but after a while, he quit and I no longer saw him. it had been about two years since I saw indianwood man...until a couple weeks ago. I was sitting at a stoplight when indianwood man was crossing the intersection... he glanced over and offered a friendly wave. again, it just felt so random. And so tonight, I saw indianwood man once again at a local church gathering. I didn't know indianwood man was a God follower. very random... but very, very cool.

I love those moments... where it feels very much like a story with reoccuring characters who aren't the focus of story, but add depth and beauty to its tale.

taste transformation

Hey all...

I was reminiscing with a friend of mine tonight about the music we listened to when we were little. For the most part, I grew up fairly conservative, so my musical knowledge didn't really come to bloom until mid-high school. My dad had been really big into the Beatles, so I was pretty familiar with their music. My brother had the soundtrack to "Top Gun" and "Rocky" on record that I can remember listening to quite a bit. But that was it... not much of an introduction to music.

When I was a younging (we're talking, like 8 or so) I remember my friends being really into George Michael. Why, I'm not entirely sure. But "Faith" was huge on the radio. At least I never feel into the New Kids On the Block Trap (but I did however, like Hanson... and still listen to some of their music!) I also remember my best friend across the street owning the album "Check Your Head" by Beastie Boys. "Pass the Mic" was the first Beastie Boys song I ever heard. I also remember being a big fan of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Hahaha... I knew all the words to "Nightmare On My Street"... I still know most of them.

As I grew older, I of course listened to a lot of Christian music. Lots of Michael W. Smith, Whiteheart, PFR, DC Talk, David Meece, with a little Petra thrown in there every now and then. When I was introduced again to secular music (basically, my parents began to let me listen to the radio more) I was introduced to top 40 music, and for a while, that was all I knew. I can remember loving the songs "Rain" by Madonna, "Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson, "Where You Get Love" by Matthew Sweet, and "Baby I Love Your Way" by Big Mountain (and lots of other stuff off the Reality Bites soundtrack). Makes me laugh to think about how much I loved these songs.

*Really Sad Tid-bit of Info: The first two CDs I ever bought were "Smells Like Nirvana" by Weird Al, and the the Joey Lawrence Album (you know, Joey from Blossom - WHOA!) How sad is that?

Eighth grade, I was pretty much all about Counting Crows. That craze stuck with me a LONG time. I'm still a fan.

When I was a freshman in high school was when my music taste began to shift into the alternative scene. Grunge was pretty big at the time, and moving into full fledged, early nineties alternative. I became a huge fan of bands like Weezer, Bush, Smashing Pumpkins (my friend with whom I was reminiscing was pretty quick to hop on the Pumpkins wagon - he had their CD as a fourth grader), Cranberries (I don't know, were they really alternative?), Gin Blossoms, Radiohead, Nirvana, various songs by Flaming Lips, and Buffalo Tom (thanks to My-So-Called-Life)... There were of course other bands that were NOT a part of the alternative scene that I go into such as Toad the Wet Sprocket (who I fell in love with), Dogs Eye View, and STILL listening to Michael Jackson on occasion.

During my sophomore year, U2 made its way into my music collection. As a kid, my brother used to listen to them all the time. Simply due to the fact that he was my brother and liked them, meant I therefore had to hate them. Unfortunately, I missed out on a lot of years I COULD have been listening to U2. But I finally got around to it. Other bands that joined my music collection were Third Eye Blind (a huge favorite amongst my high school friends), Collective Soul, Creed (come on, you know you liked their first album!), Guster, and Duncan Sheik.

It wasn't until maybe 3 years ago that I really started to get into music. I started searching bands I didn't know, trying to find music I found on my own. I feel as though I have come to know a LOT more about music, but have a long way to go. But as I look back to the days of Petra and Whiteheart, and look at what I'm listening to now, it's so cool to see the transformation of musical taste.

If you've stuck with my story of music transformation this long, rock on. It was a long one.

How about you? Anybody got any weird musical transformation stories?

old writing

Tonight was an interesting night. I began a new writing project, and decided to break out some old writing. My English classes all throughout high school were filled with great amounts of writing - stories, but journaling especially. I began to reread some of my journals tonight, and found myself laughing aloud. The things I thought about and wrote about... I began to wonder if 8 years from now, I would do the same thing looking back on this writing. The things I wrote were so funny (as well as the comments from my English teacher). Anyway, I also began to browse through the poems I wrote from age 15 to 21ish. Some of them were kind of interesting. A while ago, I had resurrected "The World Through His Window" - a poem I wrote when I was 15. I think that maybe every so often, I'll resurrect a new one. Some of them may be decent, some of them may be ridiculous. But for tonight, I'll share this one with you.

I wrote this one when I was 19. You'd think at age 19 my writing would be in decent shape, but I was still a fairly new writer. Therefore, I find this poem kind of funny. It's not terrible, but it's awkward (plus, you can tell I read a little Frost before I wrote it - the whole Road theme). But, for whatever reason, it kind of stuck with me as I was paging through some of my old poems. So here goes...

The Road
In an attempt to discover oneself,
It seems as though life finds them first.
There are two roads to which I can travel.
One, I've already run down.
Naive and foolish.
The one where I threw caution to the wind
I allowed myself to be seen
And for the inner me to be exposed
Only to be trampled on by the same as I -
Naive fools running down the same road
Just as fast.
I pulled myself up to try again,
Only to pursue failure over and over.
Day after day, I put my heart on the line
Day after day, choice after choice
Everything seemed wrong.
But day after day, I became stronger.
I made it down the road a little further
I have now come to the place
Where the road splits in two.
I can stay on this road,
Or follow the one well traveled.
A road where no one gets hurt
Each in their own line
Oblivious to those around them -
Emotionless... unhurt because of it.
I glance down that road
Then continue on my way.
Though hurt and weakened at times
I became stronger on this road.
I went through every emotion I thought possible
Yet there were more to come...
And others were with me.
I even met some pretty interesting naive fools.


Ok, be nice... Remember, I was only 19 and still kind of new to the writing world.
But I kind of like resurrecting these old poems... Makes me enjoy how I've grown over the years, and how I still have a very very long way to go before I'll feel like an accomplished writer. Maybe that day will never come. But I'm totally enjoying the process.

cannonball mix

Here's my newest playlist. It's probably the strangest one I've ever put together, but I love having new playlists and I'm excited about this one. It's got some great artists on it, and a few of my favorite songs. Some are old, some are new. But I thought I'd share it with you all so...

cannonball mix

Cannonball (Radio Remix) - Damien Rice
Swallowed By The Sea - Coldplay
2AM - Anna Nalik
Stars and Boulevards - Augustana
Bullet Proof... I Wish I Was - Radiohead
Hello Tomorrow (adidas version) - Karen O. & Squeak E. Clean
Light and Day (radio edit) - Polyphonic Spree
Before This Time - Ollabelle
Sunshine - Billy Miles
Lilac Wine (Album Leaf Remix) - The Verve
To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
Love Should - Moby
Sandalwood - Lisa Loeb
Mad World - Gary Jules & Michael Andrews
Snow Day - Matt Pond PA
Epiphany - Staind
Nightswimming - covered by Dashboard Confessional
Rainbow Connection - Sarah McLauchlan
Cannonball - Vienna Teng

G8 decision

Hey, if you get a chance. Take a look at this link. G8 has decided to cancel some major debts. This could create potentially huge possibilities for some very poor countries.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/06/11/uk.g8.africa/index.html

(you can also click on the title above)

X&Y

No in-depth review here. Just pure lovin'.
Love this album.
But what's not to like about Coldplay?

Current fave song off the album: Fix You
This song is just beautiful, and sure to end up on some WB show, or the OC or something.
I love this album.

If you haven't picked up this album, I highly recommend it. Such great tunes.
Did I mention I love this album?

overwhelmed

Have you ever found yourself so overwhelmed by something you find yourself running from it? A thought, an idea, a situation so big and consuming, you were afraid it might swallow you whole? Something, that if you let Him, God might just place you directly in the center of? Have you ever been so taken by something, yet wanting to do nothing about it because of the emotional energy it would require?

I find myself in this spot. I do not want to talk about it in depth at this point in time, but I have found myself in recent days to be numbing my mind, filling it with meaningless ponderings so that I don't have to think about this one thing that if I stop even for a brief moment and consider it's greatness, I am unable to hold back tears. I find myself not wanting to face it, not wanting to admit it, not wanting to look it in the eye but rather run the other direction hiding my head in the sand like a fear stricken ostrich.

Sometimes I think this fear will get the best of me. Sometimes I think I will miss great opportunities because of it. Sometimes I think that if I were only stronger, if only I were able to push myself, I might be able to learn so much. There are some things I can push past, some things I can force myself to do despite my fear... Why is it, I cannot do this one thing.

I'm not sure how I will get there... but I know it's worth getting to.

stuck in a moment

"I'm just trying to find a decent melody, a song that I can sing in my own company"

Finding your path can be a difficult task. I'm still trying to find out what I'm good at, what I could see myself doing the rest of my life, and being content with the melody I'm singing in life. Sometimes I hit a wrong note, but like this line says, I'm just trying to find one that's decent... A song that does not need refining is not worth singing.

"You've got to get yourself together, you've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it"

Sometimes I get so hung up on one thing. If I can't seem to get past it, I analyze it into the ground until it makes sense. Instead of accepting it as an unknown and moving on, I seem to get stuck in that moment. This line is such a challenge... Getting myself together and getting out of that moment.

"Don't say that later will be better..."

I'm a great waiter. I always think there's something better around the bend. Life will be better when I get married. Life will be better when I move out. When I have kids. The perfect job. How sad that I'm missing the "better" that is now.

"You are such a fool to worry like you do..."

I'm not sure I need to elaborate on this one. I love how in the Bible God challenges us to not worry about what we will eat or what we will wear. I worry about things far more lame than that.

"And if the night runs over, and if the day won't last, and if your way should falter along this stoney pass... it's just a moment, this time will pass."

Isn't it good to know all these moments will pass. I never meant for this reflection through the U2 song to be depressing. It's actually kind of liberating for me. It's awesome to know that each of these moments - moments of sadness, of worry, of anger, or fear, of doubt, of everything ugly will someday pass... So great... I just recently re-discovered the exclusive Target album where there is an acoustic version of this great U2 song. I fell in love with this song because it's such an optimistic song for me. It's not dismissing struggles or periods of being "stuck" but it's saying, "Hey, it happens, but it won't last forever."

This may be the first of a few U2 song contemplations. Especially songs off How to Dismantle the Atomic Bomb. Such great thoughts are spoken on that album.