big

Have you ever wanted to be a part of something really big? I mean, REALLY big? Looking towards the future, and wondering what in the world I'm going to do with my future, I can't help but think about the fact that I want to be a part of something big. What that big is, I'm not entirely sure. And I'm not even sure what "big" means anymore to me. I guess there's a part of me that thinks about how amazing it would be to go to some other country, and be a part of something really important - like helping people get clean water, or helping to educate those who really want and need education, or helping people who are sick. But there is so much in the United States that needs attending to as well. I was watching "Mad Hot Ballroom" the other night, and there was a teacher who was absolutely amazing. The way she talked about her kids, and to see how much she loved them and wanted them to succeed, was so inspiring. It made me want to work with little kids in the inner city. Listening to those kids talk - all they knew about, all they had seen, all they had experienced at the tender age of 11... it was heartbreaking. But it struck a chord inside that said, "You too can impact people..." Over Thanksgiving, I engaged in conversation with my brother, sister-in-law, as well as her sister and sister's husband. We were discussing what it would look like to start a church. Throughout the conversation, I began to have my own rabbit trail of thought. I began to wonder what it would look like if church organizations got behind and supported organizations that already existed, and helped them to do what they're already doing instead of trying to take over their already successful services, and make it fit the "church" mold. Take a homeless shelter, or a shelter for battered women, or an AIDs organization, or a The Red Cross, or any of these organizations. What would it look like if instead of the church trying to help people as their own entity, they got behind other organizations that are doing quite well, but could use the extra support. So often, I think we are so stubborn when it comes to being a part of a something bigger, if it doesn't quite match what it is we believe. Like, doing good isn't really good unless it has a church's name attached, or is deemed "Christian." I remember a while back, the Live 8 conference got a lot of flack from the Christian circle because it was "self-promoting" or it "wasn't preaching what Africa really needs - Jesus Christ." I LOVE that in the Bible, Jesus often, if not most of the time, met people's physical needs before he met their spiritual needs. I think so often we are SO concerned about people's spiritual needs, that we dismiss physical needs. Yes, I think that spiritual needs are extremely important. But so are the basic necessities of life. If people don't have water or food to survive, they won't even be able to live a life for Christ.

I know these are a whole lot of tangents. I didn't really stick to the idea of "being a part of something big." But I guess that's where my question lies. Why do I want to be a part of something "big"? And is it possible, that being a part of something small, is in essence, being a part of something big? Is giving a good meal to a homeless man on the street being a part of something big? Is tutoring a kid after school something big?

I think so often I get caught up in the romanticism of "something big." Going to Africa. Going to China. Being a missionary in the middle of who knows where. Installing water pumps in villages where they have no water. Delivering medicine and food to places that have none. Rescuing children from orphanages. These are all really great, and really important, and people are needed to do those sorts of things. But if I can do nothing to help my neighbor, who says I'm going to be able to help someone elses?

I don't have a whole lot of answers to the questions. Sometimes I wonder why it seems so hard to do the little things, and why I'm only attracted to the big things. All I know is I've been thinking a lot lately about how I want to make an impact. I want to be a part of making people's lives better. Letting more people know their loved. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't know what it will look like. I'm not even sure how I'll find the motivation to do it. But I don't want to just coast through life, without sharing it with others.

no excuses

I was watching this show this morning, where they were inviewing this nineteen-year-old named Kyle Maynard. Kyle was born without his arms and legs missing below his knees and elbows. The book shown above is the story he has written about himself, in hopes to inspire other people to achieve anything. And he actually typed the book himself. So amazing.

But what I found so amazing was, here was this kid who has no hands or feet, and he couldn't have been more excited and passionate about life. He experienced things that most people, typically, get to experience. He played football. He wrestled. He even did modeling. He explained how his parents never gave him any excuses to feel sorry for himself. They never gave him any excuses to stay inside and think success was impossible. They pushed him to do things people never thought possible. And he did. This kid has such an amazing outlook on life, and such a passion to impact other people. At the end of the interview, he said something to the effect of "I found out that this book kept someone from committing suicide. To be 19 and have that kind of an impact on someone, is amazing."

It totally made me think about how often I give myself plenty of excuses. Excuses not to pursue the things I want. Excuses not to do the things I ought. Excuses... for just about anything. Excuses are SO much easier than the pain of pursuing something that's hard. Kyle was talking about when he first started wrestling, and that he lost the first 35 matches he wrestled. He said typically, one would give up after that. He likened it to basketball. If you were to shoot 35 shots, and not make one of them, you might come to believe you were just a bad basketball player and give up. However, he was persistant in learning how to wrestle - how to use his build, his size, and his situation to his advantage. Sure enough, he started to win some matches. Crazy. The amount of dedication and persistence this kid has - brilliant.

So I think I'm going to pick up the book. Sounds totally inspiring. And I don't know about you, but I could totally use a good dose of inspiration. Seems as though too many excuses seem to be floating around...

thanksgiving

I know it's pretty late in the day, but I just wanted to give a little Thanksgiving shout out. It's so amazing... so many things to be thankful for - for needs being met, and the crazy blessings I don't deserve. I am unbelievably humbled by how gracious God is...

Happy Thanksgiving one and all.
For those of you I know, thank you for all you are in my life.
For those of you I don't know, thank you for being you and
being a part of this little community.

Love you guys.

shout out

Alright, can I just give a shout out to the big guy upstairs?

I realize I don't do this often enough (which will be the second part of my post), and that is to thank God for all the stuff he does. So right now, I'd like to give a few SHOUT OUTS to God for the stellar things He's doing in my life right now:

- Gotten the attention of my family about getting holistically healthy
- Provides in a multitude of ways - both when needed and undeserved
- Renewed my hope despite my intermittent bitterness towards church
- Generated mercy in the heart of my Stats teacher to curve our exam
- Gave me the ability to actually MAKE IT through statistics (barely)
- Provided a couple really cool possible job opportunities
- Strengthened relationships I didn't think could be strengthened
- Teaching me patience... HARDCORE!

Now onto the second half of my blog entry. These thoughts came to me today as I was on my way home from school. My last class of the day is statistics, and I was dreading going. I was certain I had failed my exam, and was scared of what that could possibly do to my overall grade. However, I was pleasantly surprised by a passing grade on the exam. Not only that, our professor gave us an 8 point curve. Who does that? I had also learned that we have no class on Wednesday because of Thanksgiving (two of my three classes cancelled - rock the casbah). So, as I got into my car at 6:45, I was flying pretty high on happiness. My first instinct was to throw on a little David Crowder, and shout out some praises to God as I spent 30 minutes driving home. However, I was suddenly hit by the fact that I had not been praising God recently. In fact, I had spent the entire past weekend moping about because of so many reasons (I've gotten pretty good at complaining about how hard it is to "be alone" during the holidays). And here I was, praising God because everything was going my way. Where were my praises when I was at my lowest? Why was I not praising God that I had a roof over my head, food to eat, and a Redeemer who loved me? Honestly, my woes are NOTHING in comparison with so many others... Why is it so much easier to praise God when He "answers our prayers," and not when He says no (which is probably protection), or when He''s challenging us, which ultimately leads to our growth - which is a good thing! I was struck by the fact that even my worship was selfish! So crazy... So at one point, I had to turn down Crowder, and have a little conversation with God... Let's just say, the conversation's still not over with.

As I continue throughout the week, and in the months to come, I can only pray that God would teach me how to have praise on my lips at all times - all day, all night, through good times, and bad (sounds like wedding vows... how interesting...).

So, yeah... had these thoughts on the brain, and decided to share them. It's not that often that I talk about this on my blog, but it's been pretty big on my mind tonight.

I'm so unbelievably grateful to God right now, for all that He's doing... But also unbelievably humbled by the fact that he continues to bless me despite my moody moments where everything is all about me, and how many "oh whoa is me" phrases I can mutter.

Thanks God for putting up with my crap, and rockin' my socks off despite it.

somewhere only we know

Since I've been on a bit of a posting kick and music kick today (well, I'm on a music kick all the time I suppose) I decided I'd post my most recent playlist. Maybe it's because Christmas is around the corner, maybe it's because I've been around a lot of married couples lately, or maybe it's just because I'm a hopeless romantic... But this playlist reflects some of the songs that make my heart happy (and definitely wanting a significant other!) Here are a few songs that I love and adore, and can't seem to let go of...

P.S. - Can I just tell you that I think the idea of exchanging "mix tapes" or "CDs" or I guess now "playlists" is still ultra-romantic? I know, I know... It was such an 80's thing. But I'm sorry. I still think it's one of the greatest things...

Anyway, here's the list:

Somewhere Only We Know

Somwhere Only We Know - Keane
Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray
Different - Acceptence
Fix You - Coldplay
Chelsea - Counting Crows
Stealing Kisses - Lori McKenna
Heartbeats - Jose Gonzalez
Lack of Color - Death Cab for Cutie
Streamside - The Album Leaf
Requiescat - Duncan Sheik
So Are You To Me - Eastmountainsouth
Let Go - Frou Frou
Please Forgive Me - David Gray
Pink Moon - Nick Drake
Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
Acoutic #3 - Goo Goo Dolls
You and Me - Life House
How - Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
Home - Michael Buble

I promise to post something NON-MUSIC related in the next couple of days...

jose

Recently on Confessions of a Dangerous Norwegian, Drew posted this link for a Sony Bravia commercial (thanks, Drew!). The commercial takes forever to load, but it's totally worth watching.

It pointed out to me that I forgot to write something on my joys list - Superballs. They're great.

The real reason why I'm posting this though, despite the commercial being fantastic, and superballs being endless amounts of fun, is that there is a song that accompanies the commerical that I have totally fallen in love with. Thanks to an "anonymous" poster on Drew's blog, I found out that the person singing the song is Jose Gonzalez.


(picture courtesy of www.exclaim.ca.)

This is Jose Gonzolez, a new found favorite musician of mine. Ok, ok... I actually only have the one song from the commerical called "Heartbeats" in my possession, but hopefully in the near future, I will pick up the album that it's on entitled "Veneer." I sampled some of his other music, and I really like his sound. Has a bit of a folksy feel to it. But I absolutely adore the song "Heartbeats." It is so beautiful... Supposedly it's a cover of song done by British group - The Knife. I haven't been able to locate that song on iTunes, but Jose's beautiful version of it is available.

You can also check him out (and sample his music) here:
Jose on My Space

So go check it out. All of you!

live at the metro

(My friend Craig snagged this pic at the show... Thanks Craig!)

On November 17, 2005 I had a musical/spiritual experience unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I, along with five other people, drove down to Chicago, IL to see a performer by the name of Matisyahu play at the Metro. I mentioned his album “Live at Stubb’s” earlier on my blog, but the brief plug did not do this man justice. When we arrived at the venue, we were pretty hurried as we were a little late. So, to be perfectly honest, I was too focused on finding a spot for the concert to look around me and soak in the atmosphere. We found a decent spot to the far left of the stage. Because the venue is pretty small, there really aren’t any “bad seats”. There are only bad people to stand behind. I swear, I had to have been one of the shortest people there, and I’m like 5’6” – not that short! Anyway, our spot wasn’t too bad – only a few tall people in front of us. We stood awaiting the show to start. The crowd started to chant “Matis… YAHU!” Slowly, the well-known banner with the Star of David dominating the center, unrolled, only to bring about more cheers. It was at that point that I started to look around me, and soak in the vast array of people groups attending the shows. Matisyahu represents a group of people that are not typically represented in the rock scene – Hasidic Jews. And he was there to represent them, and they were there in response. As I looked around the room, I realized just how full it was of these religious people. Some of them orthodox and very, very traditional, while some of them remained a little bit harder to recognize. Then, there were those who were there because of their love for reggae, and some for their love of hip hop. Matisyahu presents a pretty good blend of both. This group of people all together to see one artist. So bizaare. But so great.

As the show began, I started to realize that Matisyahu’s albums are not a good enough representative of how good a performer/artist he is. His is an amazing live performer. Not only can he capture what seems to me to be an authentic reggae sound, the man can lay down rhyme and rhythms unbelievably well, all the while pointing the focus towards God. He not only presented songs that were spiritually driven, he also called the audience to “let go” of things that distract us and “cover over” God. He shared an experience of his from earlier in the evening. He had dined with a Chicago rabbi who told him a story about Holocaust survivors and the amount of faith and belief they had, despite the wretched evils they faced during the Holocaust. It was such a sobering, passionate and inspiring story, and one of the most spiritual experiences I’ve ever experienced in a concert. He called for a moment of silence… Silence…At a concert… Brilliant.

One of the things I think is so cool about Matisyahu is his non-traditional approach to the music scene. I saw a pod on him on Current Television, where he talks about the fact that he eats kosher while on the road, he prays and studies Torah every day, and does not participate in the typical “rock star” activities. He’s happily married, and he and his wife actually just welcomed a new little baby into their family. It’s so cool to see someone with such amazing music talent not giving into the “usual” way of rock star living. And he definitely could be considered a “rock star.” The show was sold out. The audience loved him. They screamed and cheered. They lingered around forever until getting kicked out by security. And yet, he is so strong in his faith, and sings so deeply from his soul. Again, brilliant.

The show had its moments of hype, its moments of contemplation and reflection, and what in my heart were “God” moments. I got to experience the concert with five of my friends, which only added to the greatness of this show.

Matisyahu is an amazing performer. If you have the chance to check out any of his albums, I highly recommend it. And if you have the chance to see him live, definitely don’t miss out on that opportunity. He’s going to explode in the music scene… I can pretty much promise you that. He’s amazing…

You can see more pictures on my flickr account (check out the link on the right) and I will hopefully have a better, more well-written review of the show up on Relevant at some point in time.

joy, part 2

A while back I started part one a "100 Joys" list, an idea inspired/started by Justin & KFinn. This is the second half of the list, again in no particular order. These are just a few things that bring a major smile to my face, and I rather enjoy engaging in.

Ladies and gentlemen... Joy, part 2.

51. Random conversations with Sally Kalbas
52. Good thrift store finds
53. Conversations about creative ventures
54. Scarves
55. Trying to learn how to skateboard with friends
56. Any Gilmore Girls conversation
57. Live music shows – MATISYAHU NEXT WEEK!
58. Artistic elements other than music to worship God
59. Unexpected gifts
60. Notes of encouragement
61. Chuck Taylor Converse tennis shoes
62. IKEA
63. Old bookstores
64. Watching little kids try to play Hide N’ Seek
65. Catching up with long-lost friends
66. Random trips to no where
67. Roasting marshmallows
68. Going to the zoo!
69. Playing Scrabble
70. Watching Jeopardy with my mom
71. Seeing sci-fi movies with my dad
72. Discussing personality profiles & birth order
73. Momentary bursts of insane silliness
74. Singing in my car at the top of my lungs
75. Reading through old journals
76. Pillows
77. The SEMP Tootsie Pop tradition
78. Wave Games
79. Reading my friends’ blogs
80. Giving gifts (especially themed ones!)
81. Milwaukee’s Gallery Night
82. Doodling
83. Blowing bubbles
84. Building with Legos
85. Walking around the city – especially Chicago
86. Boats
87. Shoes, shoes, and SHOES! (Pumas anyone?)
88. Fresh Ink Cards
89. Listening to music my dad grew up listening to
90. Shooting stars
91. Fireworks
92. Freaks and Geeks (the show)
93. Taking pictures
94. Getting lost (only if I don’t have to be somewhere)
95. Watching two people get engaged (at a Ben Folds concert!)
96. Bowling (any takers? Amy?)
97. Oversized hoodies
98. My sister-in-law’s “holiday tree”
99. Sitting by candlelight
100. Writing a “100 Joys” list for my blog

being a girl

Being a girl.

I've had a lot of thoughts about this as of late. I know, that sounds weird. I've been a girl for over 25 years, you think I'd be used to the idea by now. But I guess you could say that I've always wondered about gender and the roles of gender, and it's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm not sure if it's because two of my five classes focus a lot on gender roles, if it's because that maternal instinct thing has been creeping in a ton, making it really hard to subdue the deep desire to get married and have a family, if it's because I find myself submersed in a world of interest that is typically dominated by men (music & film) or if it's something subconscious, that I'm not even aware of... But for whatever reason, I've been thinking about gender, femininity and my role as a female.

I'll apologize now for any male readers who are like, "What? I don't want read about femininity!"

This past weekend, I was contracted out (that still sounds so funny to me) by Imago Media (my brother's production company) to work at a conference down in Springfield, IL. I have worked as a part of the production team for a youth conference for the past four summers, and am pretty familiar with doing the CGs for worship. I am pretty familiar with the program Keynote, which is why they asked me to go along. However, I really struggled while we were there. Here I was, one of the only girls in the room (with the exception of 2 female union workers - but let's just say, they're not the most pleasant people you'd ever come across), toting around huge equipment cases, and feeling VERY unfeminine. Even my brother and I had a conversation on the way home about it. I said that there are often times where I feel like just letting a guy do something for me, even if I can do it myself, just so I feel more "girlie". Like, being incapable, weak, or soft are requirements for being a girl. My brother assured me this wasn't the case, but winding up cable snakes, pushing around 15 foot screen cases, and loading a Ryder truck don't exactly mirror the epitome of femininity, you know?

And then there's the whole music thing... I have yet to meet a girl who's nearly as obsessed with music as I am. I'm at least a little comforted in the area of film. I'm surrounded by female film students at school. However, I'm still stuck with being the only girl I know who's TOTALLY into music. A couple weeks ago, I was supposed to go to a Guster concert with my brother. He ended up being REALLY sick and couldn't go. I scrambled to try to find someone to go with, and the only people I could come up with who had even heard of Guster, were all guys. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, except for the fact that all of my guy friends who are Guster fans have girlfriends or wives, making it a little awkward to take a trip down to Chicago with them. I ended up finding a girl friend of mine who just thought it'd be fun to go along, but it again awaked me to the fact that I feel very alone being female and a complete music junkie.

There are other areas were this is the case too - where I worry if I'm not "girlie" enough. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I've only dated one person in my entire life - I'm not girlie enough, or I don't fit some sort of "girlie" mold like I'm supposed to. Sometimes I wonder if that's what's "wrong" with me. And yet, I have to believe that the stereotypes that we're fed through the media of what a "woman" is, or what true femininity is, is completely skewed, horribly innaccurate, and almost impossible to achieve. Proverbs 31 supposedly gives such great examples of what a "woman of God" is supposed to be... And yet, I still struggle with the everday descriptions that we're handed. I struggle with feeling like I don't completely fit the mold, and that everyone around me knows it and is aware of it. I don't by any means want to make it sound like I'm a tomboy - I'm really not. I had my days of being a tomboy when I was younger. I do however, definitely have some very girlie traits: though I don't necessarily sport it, I love fashion and learning about fashion, I can't wait to be a wife and mom, and pray every day that I will be blessed with both those positions, I have an undeniable love for animals (real and stuffed... I just had to part with two dozen stuffed animals. It was a sad day. Doesn't get more girlie than that.), I rather enjoy pink, bubble baths, writing notes, watching chick flicks, and of course, having a good cry.

However, it's just weird when I have those moments where I feel as if I'm breaking some sort of female code because I live, eat, sleep, and breath music, or because I like to work on stage crews, or because I'm into video/graphics stuff, or because I like to watch shows with my dad like Myth Busters, Monster Garage, and Orange County Choppers. I've always thought it'd be fun to restore an old car. I like to watch sports. And I even like to play video games.

Does anyone else ever have those moments, and I'm not just talking about femininity - but where they feel like they're so outside of what society tells them they're supposed to be - how they're suppoed to act, what they're supposed to be interested in, what they're supposed to look like?

Or am I a lone duck on this one?

L.M.

(photo taken from www.lorimckenna.com)

Recently, I have been slightly attracted to folk music. Ok, very much attracted to it. I'm not entirely sure where this desire came from. It's even borderline country which I swore I would never listen to (sorry for all you country lovers out there). There is something so magical about folk music. I really like the word magical. I use it a lot. But it just seemed so fitting for this post because I feel like folk music is just that - magical.

My current favorite is Lori McKenna. I know I've talked to quite a few of you about this obsession lately, but I seriously cannot get enough of her music. It's kind of weird how I stumbled upon her music. Every now and then, I read Zach Braff's blog, and he usually gives a music suggestion. One time he suggested "Beautiful Man" by Lori McKenna. I sampled it in iTunes at one point, but didn't purchase it. Instead, the first song I purchased of hers was a cover she did of Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees." Granted, I love that song, but her version isn't the greatest. Anyway, I then started to download some of her other stuff, and started to LOVE it. One of my favorite songs by her is "Stealing Kisses." I swear, if I ever get my say in a movie soundtrack, that song is going in it. CAMERON CROWE, IF YOU'RE READING THIS (hahahah... That's a funny thought) YOU NEED TO PUT THIS SONG IN YOUR NEXT MOVIE! The intro to the song seriously belongs in a movie! Other songs I have by her are "It's Easy When You Smile" and "Fireflies". I love Fireflies because it makes me think of being a kid, which of course, as most of you know, I rather enjoy. I love childlike things, and childhood daydreams. And this song is just that. Here's the song:

Fireflies
By Lori McKenna

Before you met me I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs, and called them prince
And made myself a queen
And before you knew me I traveled around the world
And I slept in castles, and fell in love
Because I was taught to dream

I found mayonnaise bottles,
And poked holes in the top
To capture Tinkerbell
And they were just fireflies
To the untrained eye
But I could always tell

Caused I believe in fairy tales
And dreamer's dreams like bed sheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan
And miracles
And anything I can to get by
And fireflies

Now before I grew up I saw you on a cloud
And I could bless myself
In your name
And patch you on your wings
And before I grew up I heard you whisper so loud
Well life is hard, and so is love child
Believe in all these things

I found mayonnaise bottles,
And poked holes in the top
To capture Tinkerbell
And they were just fireflies
To the untrained eye
But I could always tell

Caused I believe in fairy tales
And dreamer's dreams like bed sheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan
And miracles
And anything I can to get by
And fireflies

Before you met me, I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
And before you knew me
I traveled around the world
I slept in castles, and fell in love
Cause I was taught to dream...


Such a great song. So go, check her out. Lori McKenna. Yes, this is a shameless plug. But she's awesome. Check her out. If you like folk that is. And if you have any good suggestions for folk, let me know... I'm kinda new to the world, and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

continued thoughts

Continued thoughts on community...

I was looking through pictures of my Judson College days, and realizing how much I miss having a kind of community like that. Not necessarily living in a dorm, but having friends RIGHT there, to spend time with and share life with wherever and whenever. I went to a birthday party for my friend's one year old son the other day, and saw some friends I haven't seen in quite a while. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, and it felt great. I saw a friend of mine last weekend who I haven't talked to in two years. It was so great to see her, and I felt like in some respects, we picked up where we left off. We had to fill each other in on what we missed out on over the past two years, but it seemed like it wasn't really two years that had passed by. And I just recently started emailing with another old friend from high school, and I love the fact that we were finally able to reconnect.

Which made me think... We are so unbelievably designed to connect with other people, and to have human interaction, it's amazing...

In my film class, we just watched "The Life Aquatic". Now, this movie got pretty terrible reviews, and most people I know hated the movie. However, this movie shows a great picture of that need for human interaction and connection. Throughout the whole movie, there is this distance between people. Emotions are very rigid and stone like, and used more for a comedic effect (example - Steve Zissou kissing the head of Estaban). However, by the end of the movie, there is this definite need for human connection and emotion. They are all experiencing something so amazing and beautiful together, that they can't help but reach out to each other (it's kind of like a "laying on of hands" scene - very interesting).

But isn't life mostly like that? That we're all experiencing something amazing and beautiful together, and long to reach out to one another? In "The Life Aquatic", Steve Zissou's best friend Estaban was killed by a Jaguar Shark, and he spends the whole film on a mission to find the Jaguar Shark. When he finally does see him, it's this beautiful creature, and the rest of them all feel like they are a part of something so huge. I think that's how I feel so often in life. I experience these moments that are so beautiful, and make me feel a part of something so huge, and I want nothing more than to experience it with a community around me.

Currently, I don't have that sort of community. I have people who I know and love, and spend time with, but none of them are really connected to each other, or a part of a larger group. I spend time with each of them individually, and do not have a "corporate group of friends" to which I belong. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm not saying I need to be surrounded by 50 people in order to experience meaningful, and fulfilling friendship. But I am missing it. I'm missing being plugged into a church. I'm missing going on "group trips" where I get to experience the adventure with numerous people (which I hope to someday also be a thing that I experience with a family - you know, husband and kids type community). I miss sitting and watching movies with a mixed crowd where half of us are laughing, and the other half is like, "What? I don't get it?" I miss the joys that come from large amounts of laughter, as well as large amounts of tears.

I know, to everything there is a season... And I know in good time, I will once again be a part of a community. That once again, I will find a church to call home and this anxiousness and frustration with organized "church" will go away. I know that this is my current situation in life, and I'm ok with it.

There's just days that I miss it.

bookstore

I love bookstores. There one of my favorite places in the world. And I like all different kinds of bookstores. I typically go to Barnes and Noble a lot, just because it's the closest "big chain" near me, and if I'm looking for a book that's kind of hard to find, they have the largest selection. Every so often for a change of pace, I will drive out to Borders and check out their selection. But the bookstores that really tickle my fancy are the ones that have a little more personality to them. While Harry W. Schwartz is still along the Barnes and Noble and Borders side of things, it has more of a personality to it. My friend and I visited one on the east side of Milwaukee last night. While she filled out an application, I sat and read children's books. I highly recommend "Punk Rock Farm" by the way. The layout of this store is amazing though. I feel as though there are all these little areas you can just plop down in and read a book. We were in the kids section, and I grabbed like 4 different books to look through, and we sat on this huge plush couch, there were HUGE stuffed animals surround me as well as a lot of other toys (including a little stuffed Albert Einstein that I wanted really bad). It had SUCH a great atmosphere. If I was a little kid, I would have rather enjoyed myself. There is another bookstore downtown that I absolutely adore - well, I used to anyway. It was my favorite place in the world when I was in high school. Downtown Books. The fiction literature was all upstairs, and you had to walk up this SUPER narrow staircase to get up there. Once you were in the fiction section, there were all these small shelves that were really close together, and then there was balcony to which you could see down over the rest of the store. It was magical. I would tuck myself up there for a while and read different books to see which old books I wanted to buy. There were some great finds in that store, that's for sure. But I absolutely LOVE bookstores.

Which brings me to the point of my post. The more I think about wanting to open a bookstore, the more excited I get. The more I think about wanting to open a CHILDREN'S bookstore, the more excited I get. I mean, my friend was so awesome to appease me and look at all the books I showed her. "Cara and Ashara", "Punk Rock Farm", "Zathura" (did anyone see this on the Apprentice?), "Black Meets White", "M is for Music"... I was reading through them, and kept saying, "This is so great!" and "I LOVE this!" and she was like, "Man, you TOTALLY need to open a store."

So, that leaves me here... Loving bookstores, and wanting to open one. I suppose the time has come to start looking into what all goes into that. Owning a business scares the crap out of me. I have enough trouble managing my own money, let alone the money of a business. Although, maybe it would be different - I have managed other budgets before. But, maybe it won't be. All I know is I think I better start reading up on what it takes to start my own business and open up my own store...

world series

In honor of the world series that's going on right now, I thought I'd post a baseball-ish type picture. Granted, this is no proclamation of love for either of the world series teams (or a team that either my brother or I really like for that matter), but I found it while rummaging though some old pictures, and thought it would be fitting.

Go Brewers... I mean, go Astros... I mean, shoot, they lost to the Sox the other night... Go... Um...

Oh, nevermind... I don't care.

mos

Tonight, I met another music junkie. A whoo hoo. I actually got together with a friend of mine that I haven't spent time with in a really long time. She and I were friends in high school, and then we went to college together for a year and a half. She got married back in 2002, and we pretty much haven't seen in other in the past two years. But we reconnected last weekend, and decided to hang out tonight. She and I had a great time together, reminiscing about old times. I met her dog Doodle, her cat Vinny, and her turtle Dick Tracy. We talked about all sort of stuff regarding our lives, what shows we are addicted to, and she even showed me this weird video game she's addicted to. I think it's called Katamari? Anybody out there heard of it? Anyway, we were having fun getting caught up, and then her husband came home. The topic of music came up... Oh man. So great. So fun to find someone else with somewhat similar interest, but different enough to give me some good suggestion I may have never found. One of the bands he suggested, I'm totally diggin'. Mates of State. I think Troy Hatfield mentioned them on his blog a while back, but I never took the time to check them out. You guys, they're awesome. It's a husband and wife duo, and it's just keyboards/organ with drums. Sounds weird, but it's actually very, very cool. Very unique sounds, but they have some killer harmonies, and just a really good blend of sound. Definitely pleasing to the ear. So if you get a chance - check them out. Mates of State. They rock.

DDR

About a year ago, I was helping out with the junior high and high school ministry at my church. There is a little thing called Dance Dance Revolution that worked magic with them. Something about a dance-off just resonated so deeply with them that they found themselves playing it all the time, every week, without fail (well, at least the juniors highers).

I was walking to my car the other night. It was parked in the Union Lot at school, which is a covered parking structure. As I entered the floor where my car was parked, I could hear music blaring from someone’s car. As I got closer, I was able to see that it wasn’t just someone listening to tunes, but rather, a dance lesson of sorts. This guy and girl were attempting to teach two other people how to dance. It was great. I was highly entertained.

So many songs prompt you to dance… As I sit here and think about it, a whole slew of songs came to mind. “Move Your Feet” by Junior Senior, “Untitled” by Modest Mouse where they tell you to “Dance, D-D-Dance, Dance and go crazy!” “Rock Your Body” by Justin Timberlake, and the “shameful indulgence” I just can’t seem to get enough of lately, “Dance Dance” by Fall Out Boy.

There are shows on TV – “So You Think You Can Dance,” “Dance With The Stars,” not to mention all of the music reality shows (such as Making the Band and American Idol) that require large amounts of dancing. For years, people have mimicked one of history’s greatest dance icons, Michael Jackson. High schools have dances, there are business establishments dedicated to being a house for dancing, and you can’t tell me that if you hear a good beat, your body isn’t in SOME way responding to it – whether it be breaking out your Napoleon Dynamite moves, or simply tapping your foot.

Movement, to some extent, is inevitable when it comes to music. I once had a friend, in sincerest honesty, look at me dumbfounded, unable to understand my statement: “I don’t like to dance.” He obviously loves to dance, and was completely baffled that someone would actually say they didn’t. I’ll say it. Typically, I don’t like to dance. It is awkward. Makes me uncomfortable. And I just don’t find it fun. Maybe that’s because I’m a bad dancer. Maybe it’s because I grew up thinking it was “bad”. I don’t know… All I know is, I don’t dance.

However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like dance. I’m absolutely fascinated with it. I love to watch all sorts of dance… I remember torturing myself through the horrible movie “U Got Served” just so I could watch the amazing dancing. There’s something so cool about the way people can move their bodies to a specific rhythm and make it look artistic and beautiful.

Dancing… What a crazy, but artistic notion. Ballet. Tap. Hip-Hop. Interpretive. African. Modern. Polka. Jig. Square. And even video-game-induced. So cool.

you're it - no tag backs

Ok, so I got tagged... Again. So this time I claim, NO TAG BACKS. hahaha

My friend Emily got tagged and didn't know who else to tag, so she changed the rules up a bit. Here are her new rules:

This time, list 5 places you'd like to spend your weekend. For extra fun, add what you would do if you could be there (or, who you'd bring along).

1.) LA - I'd go to a restaurant called Tagine & spend hours upon end sitting on the shoreline

2.) Chi-town - visiting some of my favorite peeps down there

3.) Boston - to see all the places I missed the first time I went

4.) NYC - never been there, always wanted to go. I'd definitely hit up the Conan O'Brien show

5.) Seattle - another place I've never been, and always wanted to visit.

I'd love to put somewhere far away on there, but well, if it's only for the weekend, I'd spend a good chunk of it flying if I went overseas. If I could travel anywhere though it'd be between England, New Zealand, and somewhere in Africa.

Alright, in keeping with the game, I guess I'm supposed to tag new people. Therefore, I tag - with the new "where'd you like to go for the weekend" rules:

K.Finn
Kaydo
Sunny
Chris H.
Parke

joy, part one

This post was inspired by an idea that both just.in and k.finn expressed on their blogs a while back. They went through a list of their top 100 joys in life, and I thought it was such a great idea as it allowed readers of their blogs to see a little bit of who they are. And not only that, it was just a cool way to give a little shout out to the creator of those “joys”.

So I would like to join in on the fun of the “joy list”. Here are my first 50. They are not in any order of importance. More like, the order they came to my head.

1.) Thunderstorms
2.) Late night drives with the windows down and the tunes cranked
3.) Watching a kid eat an ice cream cone
4.) Understanding God through creation
5.) The leaves changing colors during fall
6.) When a kid doesn’t know the words to a song, and makes them up
7.) When an adult doesn’t know the words, and makes them up
8.) Starburst jellybeans
9.) Coloring
10.) Apple picking
11.) Watching a dad play with his children
12.) Seeing my parents being loving towards each other
13.) Seeing my bro & sis-in-law being loving towards each other
14.) A good music conversation
15.) Late-night talks about “Lost”
16.) Rhyming conversations with people (“Rapping,” if you will)
17.) Playing in the rain
18.) People watching
19.) Hanging out with high school & junior high kids
20.) Pojo’s fashion sense
21.) Looking through people’s family photos
22.) Christmas time, and all that comes with it!
23.) Large bodies of water – ocean, lake, river, bay, etc.
24.) Sunsets (um, I don’t see too many sunrises)
25.) Road trips
26.) Laughing and crying simultaneously
27.) Seeing Scripture in a COMPLETELY new light
28.) A letter from a distant friend
29.) Girl talk
30.) Blue Moon ice cream
31.) Unexpected free time
32.) Daisies
33.) Walking barefoot through sand
34.) Playing the piano
35.) Listening to someone else play the piano
36.) Watching someone open a gift
37.) “This is how we met” stories
38.) Seeing a friend be able to master something
39.) “Getting lost” out in nature
40.) Catching fireflies
41.) Band jams
42.) Mix tapes (though now, I suppose "playlists")
43.) Having quality “coffee talks” with friends and family
44.) Reading a good, challenging book
45.) Calvin & Hobbes
46.) Drinking cocoa or cider after playing in the snow
47.) When a good friend asks “How are you?” and means it
48.) Randomness
49.) A little kid learning to read and reading out loud
50.) Hugs

Ok… stay tuned for Joy Part 2 to come sometime in the near future.
There’s plenty more to add…

tagged

I got tagged... Mr. Drew Brown tagged me. So what does that mean? Check out the rules...

THE RULES: List five songs that you are currently loving. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog. Then tag five other friends to see what they're listening to.

Here are my songs:

Stealing Kisses - by Lori McKenna
Saeglópur - by Sigur Ros
All These Things That I've Done - by The Killers
Around the Clock - by The Rocket Summer
Merchants of Soul - by Spoon

Ok... Those have been the "most frequently played" for me lately.

Now, for the people I'm going to tag...
I choose:

Vicky Brown
Dave Sandell
Meghan Forness
Justin Wise
Brandon Brown

elizabethtown

Do you ever have those moments in life, where you look at something, and say, “That! That right there… That is what makes life great”?

That was the feeling I left with tonight. Cameron Crowe has a way of creating these moments. Moments you want to be a part of. Moments we’ve experienced. Moments that hit us each in different ways. Maybe Cameron Crowe movies don’t do that for you, but they do for me.

And Elizabethtown is no exception. Can I tell you how much I loved this movie? I loved it for so many reasons. I wish I could write about it more in depth, but I know there are a few of you out there who are super excited to see it, so I don’t want to ruin the experience for you. But I loved this movie.

However, the feelings I left with were both good and bad. Like I said at the beginning of the post, it makes me say, “That! That is what makes life great.” And while true, I think that the mix of feelings is because there were elements of it that I could recognize in my own life, and elements that I saw were not a part of my life. But I wanted them…

I am anxious for more people to go see this movie. Especially music lovers. If you’re a music lover, you’ll DEFINITELY appreciate this movie… Cameron Crowe always does such a beautiful job with the music. So great.

But for now, I’ll leave you with this last image… It was one of my favorites from the poster, along with the picture of Orlando holding an urn and an American flag. But for some reason, I absolutely loved this picture… Maybe it’s because I’ve seemed to have a bit of a one-track mind lately…

P.S. - Cameron Crowe is my music-loving hero!

new to the library

Well friends, as was decided a while ago, I’m keeping a music integration within my blog. Music is such a huge part of my life, so it’d feel kind of weird to leave it out of the normal mix of things. Maybe if it gets really bad, and I find that it’s ALL I can talk about, then I’ll start a separate music blog. But for now, the music stays here. So, rest assured Dave, you only have to check ONE blog, so that you won’t “get confused”.

Well, here's what's new to the music library:


Augustana – All The Stars and Boulevards
I purchased this album a few weeks ago. I had downloaded their song “Stars and Boulevards” a while back when iTunes was offering it as their free song of the week. I really liked the song, and decided to sample the rest of their stuff. I fell in love with the song “Boston”. I am a sucker for piano, and that song hit me just right. The rest of the album is pretty good… It’s not what I would consider to be musical genius, but it’s definitely a “feel good” listen.


David Crowder Band– A Collision
This is my most recent acquistion. I’m still not sure I’ve digested it fully. The one thing I absolutely love about The David Crowder Band – their blend of musical sounds, and their ability to lead their listeners to the foot of the throne. Their ability to lead worship is astounding. However, at times, the lyrics are a bit strange – childlike, if you will. For instance, there is one song where he sings “Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever…” and keeps going on for quite some time. The song is a good, head bopping song – definitely gets the energy going. But at times, makes me feel like a high school student back in youth group. This album has sound bite interludes with things like whistling, speeches and phone conversations which makes the album seem uninterrupted, and the album works very much like a story. It has a great continuity throughout the album, beginning and ending with “the lark” (you’ll know what I’m talking about if you listen to it). Overall, I rather enjoy this album – but I’m still in the process of letting it settle.


Matisyahu – Live at Stubb’s
I have yet to pick up this album, but I’ve downloaded a couple songs from iTunes, and I’m pretty stoked about it. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Matisyahu, he’s a “Hassidic Reggae Superstar”, according to his website. Basically, it’s this reggae meets rap type music… and he’s Jewish, so it is definitely injected with that vibe. If you’re a fan of reggae, or even just interested in some really well done, artistic music, check him out. And for any of you who live in the Chi-town area, he’s playing at the Metro next month. Stellar.

Ok, that’s all for now… More music musings to come in the near future. Maybe I’ll post a new playlist (and no, Chris, it probably won’t include Alice).

Rock on my friends.