11.21.2005

shout out

Alright, can I just give a shout out to the big guy upstairs?

I realize I don't do this often enough (which will be the second part of my post), and that is to thank God for all the stuff he does. So right now, I'd like to give a few SHOUT OUTS to God for the stellar things He's doing in my life right now:

- Gotten the attention of my family about getting holistically healthy
- Provides in a multitude of ways - both when needed and undeserved
- Renewed my hope despite my intermittent bitterness towards church
- Generated mercy in the heart of my Stats teacher to curve our exam
- Gave me the ability to actually MAKE IT through statistics (barely)
- Provided a couple really cool possible job opportunities
- Strengthened relationships I didn't think could be strengthened
- Teaching me patience... HARDCORE!

Now onto the second half of my blog entry. These thoughts came to me today as I was on my way home from school. My last class of the day is statistics, and I was dreading going. I was certain I had failed my exam, and was scared of what that could possibly do to my overall grade. However, I was pleasantly surprised by a passing grade on the exam. Not only that, our professor gave us an 8 point curve. Who does that? I had also learned that we have no class on Wednesday because of Thanksgiving (two of my three classes cancelled - rock the casbah). So, as I got into my car at 6:45, I was flying pretty high on happiness. My first instinct was to throw on a little David Crowder, and shout out some praises to God as I spent 30 minutes driving home. However, I was suddenly hit by the fact that I had not been praising God recently. In fact, I had spent the entire past weekend moping about because of so many reasons (I've gotten pretty good at complaining about how hard it is to "be alone" during the holidays). And here I was, praising God because everything was going my way. Where were my praises when I was at my lowest? Why was I not praising God that I had a roof over my head, food to eat, and a Redeemer who loved me? Honestly, my woes are NOTHING in comparison with so many others... Why is it so much easier to praise God when He "answers our prayers," and not when He says no (which is probably protection), or when He''s challenging us, which ultimately leads to our growth - which is a good thing! I was struck by the fact that even my worship was selfish! So crazy... So at one point, I had to turn down Crowder, and have a little conversation with God... Let's just say, the conversation's still not over with.

As I continue throughout the week, and in the months to come, I can only pray that God would teach me how to have praise on my lips at all times - all day, all night, through good times, and bad (sounds like wedding vows... how interesting...).

So, yeah... had these thoughts on the brain, and decided to share them. It's not that often that I talk about this on my blog, but it's been pretty big on my mind tonight.

I'm so unbelievably grateful to God right now, for all that He's doing... But also unbelievably humbled by the fact that he continues to bless me despite my moody moments where everything is all about me, and how many "oh whoa is me" phrases I can mutter.

Thanks God for putting up with my crap, and rockin' my socks off despite it.

2 comments:

mjonthemove said...

Hey Dolan. I stopped by. Thought I would say hi, and see how you are doing. Do you talk to rachel much anymore? What have you been up to?
peace,
m.j.

Jerica said...

I, too, am convicted when I realize just how much I don't measure up in the praising department. I'm so happy to hear that God is doing amazing things in your life (as in everyone else'...)
hearting you so bad right now.