parade

Sitting below my window with the shade partially drawn, I can’t help but stare at the clouds as they travel across the winter sky. They’re not imaginative today. No shapes. No ducks. No cars. No dinosaurs. Just gray masses with soft, uneven edges. But they’re going somewhere. East, I think. I wouldn’t mind going east myself – southeast rather. Strap a bag to my back, take off, and head to somewhere warm. Wisconsin doesn’t offer the most enticing weather this time of year. But for some reason, I’m fixated on these clouds as they continue their eastward march. Maybe it is for the simple fact that they’re moving. They aren’t waiting for anything, but moving ahead to bigger and better things. Maybe they will provide shade for someone. Maybe they’ll provide rain for dry lands. Or maybe they’ll tickle some little kid’s imagination. I don’t know why they’ve captured my fancy today, but I could sit for hours and watch them. It’s been a long time since I’ve laid out on my back and watched the clouds dance by. I’ll have to tuck that idea away for a warmer day. But I’m enjoying the cloud parade today. I wish I could join them in the parade. I will instead be content to watch them continue on their way. On a day where the snow covered trees are not welcoming, the cold wind offers no warmth, and the sun is in hiding, the clouds have come through for me. Brilliant.

(photo taken by elysium at www.sxc.hu)

words

Words can be a powerful thing - so can the lack of words. I am realizing more and more how vitally important word precision is, and how easily communication can get screwed up. It’s so crazy how easily it gets all jumbled up… how often I communicate something so differently than I had hoped.

Since I was little, I have always felt more comfortable with written communication. Ask my parents. They have great stories from when I was a kid. I would be angry about something, have hurt feelings, or just be unhappy for whatever reason. Instead of crying or screaming about it, I simply shut up. I know, some of you may laugh to know this about me as it takes a great deal of effort to shut me up these days, but when I was young, I didn’t really communicate much. I never really expressed how I was feeling about anything. Sure, I had my moments of laughter and moments of tears, but for the most part, I kept quiet. I have theories as to why that might have been the case, but that’s beside the point. Communication was not a regular practice of mine. However, I did have periods where it was imperative that I let my parents know what was going on in my head and heart. My method? I would write a letter, and set it on their bed roughly two weeks after the fact. For whatever reason, I just didn’t want to “talk” about it. Writing felt so much more natural, and I relied heavily on that method of communication.

Even to this day, I rely much more on written communication that I do verbal communication. Part of that may be due to the fact that I’m an internal processor. As an internal processor, writing is the perfect form of communication because I can sit and think about what I want to write and take my time with it. It doesn’t require the immediacy that verbal processing/communication does. However, I’ve realized that my communication via writing no longer warrants this sort of methodical, diligent thought process. I’ve found that with the convenience of email, the conversational invention of instant messaging, not to mention fairly quick typing skills, I have found that more often than not, I type my thoughts WAY too quickly, and do not give it the thought it deserves. Sadly, I do this with email quite frequently. I will receive an email from a friend, or be thinking about something and sit down to write an email. I simply type it up and hit send without even performing a spell check or reading it over to make sure it’s coherent and exactly what I want to say. With it being the first day of school, and thinking about all the papers I will have to write, I started to think more about the energy that goes into writing papers vs. the energy that goes into writing emails/blog posts/instant messages. Sometimes, if I am not confident in my ability to write a paper, and I really don’t care about it, I’ll sit down, write whatever comes to mind, and carelessly hand it in without looking over it a second time to see that it makes sense. I’ll hand it in blindly. However, if I was writing a paper worth a good portion of my grade, or I felt was really important, I would definitely spend more time on it. I was thinking about the effort I put into my Shakespeare paper last semester. Granted, different elements of the process were required by my professor, but I spent a tremendous amount of time on that paper. I went to the library, I scoured the internet, I took notes, I created an outline, I wrote a rough draft, I revised that rough draft, and wrote a final paper – clear in focus and clear of errors. I began to think about the emails I send, the posts I write, and the instant messages I send. How much time do I spend making sure it reflects exactly what is in my heart? How often to give attention to how it will be received? How often to I write out of unprocessed emotion? The answer to those questions is pretty pathetic… The sad thing is that I then spend so much energy worrying about whether or not it was received the way I had hoped, or making apologies for not communicating clearly. I use the very energy I should have used while writing in the first place.

Today I felt challenged. I felt challenged to spend more time making sure that what I’m communicating is exactly what I want to communicate. I felt challenged to think about the importance of what I’m writing, and whether or not it is necessary. Did I really need to send that email? Should I really say that over instant messenger, or should I save those precious words for an “in-person” interaction? I’m not promising anything… I’m sure I will still have crazy rants about how much I love surfing, how much I hate clowns, and how frightened I am of my Eastern European Film class! I’m sure I’ll still have lame late night instant message conversations where I’ll wake up the next morning and ask myself, “Why in the world did I say that?” However, I’m hoping to work on not be so negligent in my writing. I’m hoping to be more diligent, and do my research. I’m hoping that when I write something, I can set it aside for a period of time, come back to it, and re-evaluate it’s worth. I want to mean what I say the first time, not make excuses for it after the fact. Words are so precious. They’re not to be taken lightly. And I’m hoping that I can more strongly reflect that in the days to come.

With that being said, I need to go back and proof read this before I post it.

(photo courtesy of criswatk at www.sxc.hu)

panthers

Well, this is it folks. My last semester of being a panther. Tomorrow hails the title of "first day of my last semester." I'm extremely excited about it being my final semester - excited for what's ahead, excited for an extended period of no homework without the "I should go back to school" weight on my shoulders, no more paying $9 a day to park in the Union parking structure, no more group projects, and onto feeling settled in a new job, hopefully moving out, and becoming a full fledged adult. I can't wait. I thought this period in my life would never come, where I could say in four months, I graduate. At the same time, I gotta push through four more months. Yowza. Four months of African American Literature, American Indian Literature, World Cinema, Hebrew Literature, and the Psychological Effects of Racism. Four months of papers, of reading, of possible group projects (pray I have NO group projects this semester).

I realize, four months is nothing. I realize that I am so unbelievably blessed to have the opportunity to get a college education. I have been given a gift I should not take lightly. I AM grateful that I have been fortunate enough to experience what we know as higher education. I just need to keep reminding myself of that... To be thankful.

Tomorrow begins the four month journey... Should be interesting.

surf

I love surfing. I haven't actually ever been surfing, but I love watching it and the whole culture that surrounds it. My friend Jeff Worthen took this picture... He has a whole set of really cool surfing pictures, but this one is my favorite. There's something so great about surfing. I think part of me loves the idea of taking on something so huge. I mean, if you think about the power the ocean has, not to mention the things the ocean contains (sharks!)... it's pretty intense to consider what it is that surfers are actually doing.

I remember when I took my road trip out to Cali... On the first night I was there, my friend Shelley and I headed down to Manhattan Beach. It was late, and it was almost closing time, but I remember standing on the pier, and hearing the sound of ocean waves - a sound I hadn't heard in a long time. The sound literally brought tears to my eyes. For anyone that knows me, they know I have a fascination with water. I seriously could sit and stare across the ocean for hours. And that night, the sound of the ocean was music to my ears. Then, a few days later, my friend Sara and I went to see the documentary "Riding Giants." It was a great documentary about big wave riding. However, it was also freaking scary. To see some of these guys drop in on 50-100 ft. waves... Chilling. While it was pretty intense, but amazing to watch, it started to instill a fear within me - a fear to ever try surfing. I remember reading the story about that 13 year old girl from Hawaii who got attacked by a shark and had her arm eaten off, but still surfs. However, I wasn't comforted... The thought of a) getting swallowed by the ocean, and b) getting eaten by a shark, made me fearful to try surfing. Not to mention the fact that it was pretty cold surfing weather while I was out there, and I didn't have a wetsuit. My friend Sara has just had her appendix out, and wasn't really in good form for surfing. However, she offered to let me use her surfboard, and said she'd watch me from the shore, yelling out helpful hints on how to surf. Surfing all alone - that frightened me even more.

Looking back on that experience, I regret the fact that I didn't even paddle out and at least just sit on the board. From what I hear, that's a tough enough task. I'm bummed I didn't even try. There's something so enticing about the surfing world. I'm not even sure if I could tell you why I'm so attracted to it, besides the aforementioned. All I know is some day - someday I will learn to surf. I am no where near in good enough shape to try it now, but one day I will be. I will work my butt off to get in shape, and one day, I will be out there... Just me and the waves. And I will soak in every ounce of glory it has to offer.

cities

I love cities...

I WILL live in a city one day.

Milwaukee wouldn't be my first choice, but I'll enjoy it for now.

what to do...

Often times, I wonder what to blog about. Do I want to write about music? Part of me would write about music every day if I felt it was actually worth doing. Do I want to write about other forms of entertainment? Well, film/TV are huge interests of mine and I could probably write a fair amount about them. I mean, Sean Astin being on 24 - that alone provides plenty of writing material. But it would get old after awhile... Do I write about more personal stuff? That scares me a bit... Every so often I will post something that's a bit more personal, and it's always a little weird to put it out there. Here's why...

First of all, when I write more "personal" stuff, it is usually written out of emotion - meaning that I can go back to it a few days/weeks later, and feel completely different about the situation. I'm a stewer. I like to stew over things that happen, conversations I've had, or emotions I'm feeling, and usually end up in a completely different state then I started with. I feel that if I blog about something I'm working through - thoughts or emotions I haven't fully processed - it suddenly becomes set in stone. If I run into people a few weeks later, and they say, "Hey, I read this on your blog..." and then reference something, I may be totally past that. However, because that person wasn't around for the processing part of it, they have no idea that I've moved on to feeling differently about the situation. It creates for some awkward interactions, and also makes me feel as if I'm saying one thing, doing another - when that isn't really the case at all.

The other reason is, I feel that even though I love to communicate through writing, it's not always conveyed they way I'd like to it be. And here's where the problem comes in. I've had conversations with a couple people about this, but the internet provides some sort of weird relational dilemma. Through services like myspace, facebook, and even blogs, people have this false sense of "knowing" someone. People feel that if they read about the things you are doing in life, thinking about, and experiencing, they automatically know how you will respond in certain situations, or how you feel about everything when that is clearly not the case. I found myself falling into that trap on a couple of occasions. People's blogs I'd read, friends I'd met through Relevant who I was corresponding with, and other situations... While I may know bits and pieces about each of those people, I don't "know" them, the way I know someone I spend time with on a daily basis. Therefore, I think I get a little fearful about writing more personal blog entries because I'm afraid that people will hold me to the things I write about. People will say, "Yeah, but on your blog you said..." So, basically, the two reasons are sort of tied together. But one is more about the time and processing that happens in between blog posts, and the other is about personality. Both are about being defined by this silly thing we call a blog.

I don't want my blog to define me. I cannot be known simply by what I write on this blog, nor do I wish to be. There are so many layers to people, and blogs are so one dimensional. Watching people's expressions can tell you a lot about them. Seeing how they interact with others, what their body language is, if they have a gentle or brash demeanor, if they give distant hugs, or are a bear-hugger? How do they laugh? These are all things that are TREMENDOUSLY important when learning about someone. They are things that can never be learned through daily postings. They need to be experienced in person. And I think that blogs give a false definition of someone. Yet so often, I think those of us who are involved in reading them, are swept up by the idea of knowing someone.

We were designed to know and be known. We have this mad craving to be known, as well as to know other people. The desire for community was built into us. Therefore, it doesn't surprise me that this sort of community has exploded. I mean, the ability to network, find people all over the place, get to know them, read about them, interact (sort of) with them... These are all forms of community. And I think that it has the potential to be really good... But it also has the power to go south, and go south FAST. It has the potential to lots of good, but also lots of damage.

I was conversing with someone the other night, and another interesting thing we discussed was the idea that employers can now do google searches, and find blogs on the internet. Not only can they do background checks with employers, but they can find out all about you just by typing in your name in the little Google box. That thoughts a tad daunting. So now, what I write about is not only affecting my family and friends that read it, but also potential employers? Yowza... not sure I like that idea. So often, I think people who blog, or post on myspace/facebook think that they are somehow in this hidden little world that only the people who know them can access. But that's just not the case. They don't call it the "World Wide Web" for nothing.

So what to do... What to write about... It's so easy for me to write about media and surface level stuff that's going on in my life. But do I want to take the plunge, be a little risky, and write about the stuff I'm REALLY thinking about? Or is all of this just a little too much of me, me, me...

The narcissistic element of the blog... That's a whole other story...

cm & ms

I heart Chris Martin and Michael Stipe.

Did anyone by any chance tivo/tape the Austin City Limits Coldplay performance on PBS tonight? There was a great duet with Chris Martin and Michael Stipe doing "Nightswimming" (a fave R.E.M. song of mine) where Chris Martin looks super excited he got to play for Stipe.

Just wondering if anyone got the first 40 mintues. I only got the last twenty (didn't get the "Nightswimming" performance - boo!). But at least I got Coldplay's performance of "Fix You." Still loving that song...

Let me know if anyone out there tivoed/taped it.

Thanks.

major

My friend Katy had a quiz posted on her blog, and I thought it was kind of interesting, so I thought I'd take it too. I decided not to paste the quiz only because it's gianormous. So, I just posted the results below.

What major should you be?

Art 92%
Theater 92%
English 83%
Journalism 83%
Sociology 83%
Psychology 75%
Anthropology 58%
Linguistics 58%
Mathematics 50%
Philosophy 50%
Engineering 50%
Dance 42%
Biology 17%
Chemistry 8%

Interesting... I'm a semester away from graduating, and my major is third on the list. It's interesting because I think if I felt like I would have done well as an art major, I might have stuck with it. But I do absolutely love art. Therefore, it's pretty fitting that it's at the top. However, I'm not sure how "theater" made #2. Interesting... But this is actually probably a pretty accurate portrayal of where my interest lies. The only difference should be that Mathematics shouldn't be anywhere on there! Hahaha...

Anyway, I just thought tthis was an interesting poll, with interesting results, and thought I'd share. You can take such a poll at quizfarm.com if you feel so inclined. There are a whole mess of weird polls there. Have fun!

extras

I realize that the last "celebrity" post I created I stated that the next person I would write about would be Michele Gondry. I lied. I still intend to write about Gondry, but I have something else to write about in the mean time. Forewarning, it's long.

Before I begin, I must make apologies where apologies are due. For a while now, my brother has been raving about JJ Abrams, and while I'm a huge fan of at least two of his projects (Lost and Felicity), I didn't really know much about him, and therefore, mocked my brother for his new-found fascination with Abrams. However, I just finished watching the extras on the Lost Season 1 DVD collection, and I must say - I'm now a HUGE fan. I absolutely adore Abrams, and am anxious to start watching Alias, a show I never really gave much attention to. My brother told me I "owed it JJ" to watch Alias, but I did not take his statement seriously. However, after watching the special features on the Lost DVDs, I see what he means. I do owe it to him. So all apologies Kelly for not yielding to your suggestions, and not understanding your fascination with Abrams. Therefore, this post will be dedicated to Abrams, as well as the show.

Now, on to the good stuff...

First, let me start off by saying that the "behind the scenes" stuff a lot of times ends up being way more interesting to me than the actual show/movie itself. Example: Lord of the Rings. I saw the first movie in the theaters, and did not feel strongly at all towards it. I had mediocre feelings for a movie I had tremendous expectations for. After my first screening, I did not see it again until it came out on DVD. I heard a lot of buzz about the "extended edition" and decided that I too wanted in on the action. I picked it up, watched all the "behind the scenes" stuff, and fell in love with Peter Jackson, the cast, the people of WETA, and ultimately, the movie. From that point on, I was obsessed with Lord of the Rings stuff - but mostly because of all the crazy stuff that went into the making of it. That's what fascinated me the most. Well, the same goes for Lost actually. I was gung-ho for it before it even aired, telling everyone I knew it was going to be a cool show, and that they should watch it. One of the reasons I had initially started watching it was because of Dominic Monaghan - yes, I had a wee bit of a crush on him. I'm a sucker for a funny guy. Anyway, I watched the pilot and the first few episodes, and found it to be a tad cheesy. So, I gave up on the show. It wasn't until mid season when I had heard all of these crazy things going on on the show, that I decided to tune back in. And I was hooked. Loved the show. Found it creative, loved the characters, loved the fact that I didn't know what the crap was going on - all that jazz. As season two began this year, I realized I had missed a LOT of the back story on characters. While I could follow along with what was happening, I realized there was a lot that didn't make sense to me, and I wanted to try to go back and re-watch them. My parents bought me the DVDs as a present, and I've been watching them since Christmas. I just now got to the good stuff - the special features. Here's why I love the special features so much...

The writing process: As someone who loves to write, and has a strong interest in how things are all put together, I was super excited that they talked about the process of how they got their writers, and how they went about doing it. The outline for the pilot was written in five days, and ABC picked up the outline. It's hard enough getting a script picked up for a pilot - let alone a mere outline. Craziness. But I loved that they talked about all problems and victories they had throughout the writing process.

The cast: I always love to see the "real-life" actor who plays each character. Granted, one cannot get a true sense of what that person is like in real life, but I love that I can at least get a glimpse of what they are like. One of the characters who I was surprised I found myself REALLY enjoying was Josh Holloway who plays Sawyer. He was cracking jokes all the time (there I go again with Mr. Funnyman) and was laughing a ton, and just didn't seem to take himself so seriously. So fun.

How they do stuff: I always love when they show how they do stuff. I know that for a lot of people, it's "ruined" for them when they see how it all was accomplished, but for me, it only makes me appreciate and admire the crew involved in making it look so real. One of the things that I thought was great but also had me laughing pretty hard was how they handled the polar bear. I don't want to give anything away or spoil anything for anyone, but if you get a chance to watch the special features, know that that was probably one of my favorite "this is how we did it" scenes.

Dominic Monaghan: Now, this isn't necessarily something that I "loved" about the special features, even though I'm still a bit of a Dom fan. However, it's something I found kind of interesting. Dominic's character isn't what I would consider "central." He gets a fair amount of air time, but the people I would consider (though it's changing a bit this season) would be Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Locke. However, in the special feaures, Dom is EVERYWHERE! He's in pictures, they talk about a ton of his scenes, they do a "behind the scenes" on Drive Shaft - Dom and Charlie get tons of attention. Now, I find this strange because this is also what happened in the Lord of the Rings extended editions. I felt like Dom seemed to pop up all over the place. Part of me wonders if it's just because of a charismatic personality, or if it's because he LOVES talking to the camera. I think maybe a little bit of both. Anyway, that was just a little tidbit I though interesting.

Matthew Fox's pictures: This was my absolute favorite part of the DVD. Photographs do something for me like nothing else. It's weird. I wish I could explain it, but I can't. I just love photography. Maybe I ought to consider that among the eighteen other avenues I've thought to explore. Anyway, Matthew Fox, or "Foxy" as D.M. refers to him, took pictures on set while waiting to shoot. He stole an idea from Jeff Bridges who on the set of White Squall, took photos and created books for all the cast and crew. Fox decided to do the same thing. The DVD highlighted some of the pictures he took, and they were absolutely beautiful. A lot of them were candid shots of them on set and moving around on the set, lots of black and white photos. I think it's so awesome that he gave the books to the cast and crew, but I must say, I wouldn't mind getting my hands on a copy of the book... How amazing would that be to have?

JJ Abrams: One of my favorite moments on the DVD with JJ is where he's imitating how they filmed a scene. The camera is on him, while he and another crew member imitate what they just shot. It's absolutely hilarous. However, I'm just amazed at the brilliancy and integrity of JJ. The thing I love about him was he wasn't willing to do just any show about people being stranded on a deserted island. He was only willing to do it if it was something unique, something different - had a different angle than anything else. The show has gotten criticism for being like "Gilligans Island meets Survivor" with a twist of The Island of Doctor Moreau. But the show goes further than that. There are so many layers to it, and the way the story is unraveled is brilliant. Another thing I love about the show is the dedication to plot AND character - not one or the other. So often, shows rely so heavily on one or the other that it feels as though something is lacking. I don't feel that way about this show. I think it has a really good balance. Sometimes, there are weeks where I wish there was more action (like this past Wednesday after waiting 6 weeks for a new episode) and other times I wish there was more "back story." However, all opinions aside, I think the writers do a really good job of incorporating both. The other thing I love is JJ's commitment to having real props as much as possible, and straying for CGs wherever he can. I was surprised to find out how much was real vs. how much was CG. There was a lot that I would have imagined to be CG that wasn't. The polar bear... man, that was hilarious... YOU GOTTA SEE IT.

Anyway, I could go on and on... I've already written way too much... But what can I say. I love this show. And I especially love the special features.

But don't worry, I'm still on the "Jack Bauer" side of the line. Cannot wait for Sunday.

Sorry for the lengthy post. Thanks for hanging in there with me, if you even DID hang in there with me. I'd be interested in knowing how many of you actually read this entire post in its entirety... My guess is not that many.
I'm a good rambler.

tidbits

This post will be random tidbits of info that are either exciting to me, I find interesting, or simply felt like sharing. And they are as follows:

SUNSHINE! I updated my last post because I forgot to mention that I finally saw the sun yesterday! It was amazing, and as glorious as ever. Made me a very happy girl.

New episodes of my favorite TV shows are finally about to air: On Tuesday, I believe we will be graced with a new Gilmore Girls episode. Wednesday, the ever anticipated Lost will air a new episode... After re-watching all of season one, I'm ready for more of season two. And last, but definitely not least, 24 starts next Sunday. Can I get an amen that we can finally resume the stories we've so patiently been waiting to continue with?

Last day of work: For those of you who don't know, for almost 3 years now I have been working at Thermo Electron doing data entry. It was a great part time position to have while in school as it offered a great deal of flexibilty. Well, I was offered a position to work part time with Sonlife Ministries next semester, and decided that trying to pull off two part time jobs and 15 credits during the last semester of school was probably too much, so I quit my job at Thermo. My last day will be Wednesday. It's exciting to think of what's ahead, but it's also sad to leave my job behind. I made some amazing friends there, and they will be missed.

Vacation: Because Wednesday is my last day of work, and I do not start school until the 23rd, I will have some free time on my hands. There are a couple projects I'd like to work on (one of them is painting my room) but I'm trying to be creative with what I can do with my time. What will give me a feeling of rest and relaxation, but also the feeling that I "did" something. Something recreational and fun. Something artistic and meaningful. Who knows what that will be... I'm still in the brainstorming process. I'm up for any suggestions though.

School: In two weeks, I will be in the last semester of school. I thought it would never come. But it's here, and as excited as I am, I have no idea what's ahead of me after graduation. I was telling a friend of mine the other day, that if I try to imagine what my life will look like a year from now, it's incredibly hard to imagine. I have explored many different options: Where to move - I have considered different cities, different states, and even different countries. Where to work - I am keeping every option open, and talking to as many different people as I can. So who knows where I'll be 6 months from now. Part of that frightens me, but I also find it completely exhilerating.

Myspace.com - what a weird invention. I have a friend who lives in Cali who is the one responsible for getting me to sign up with myspace, and it was mostly for connections with old friends from college. However, as I wandered around on it more, I realized there are a lot of cool things about it, but also a lot of crappy things about it. Cool things: The ability to check out/listen to tons of bands, as well as the ability to connect/network with old friends. Not so cool: The fact that young kids are posting a lot of information about themselves, and there are really weird people who are willing to talk to just about anyone, about anything... I think you can see where I'm going with this. So while I think it has the ability to be great, I'm still really hesitant about it.

I suppose that's about it for now. Random thoughts, I realize. None of them seemed to have enough value to warrant a seperate post for each, yet I still wanted to write about them for some unknown reason. Maybe it's just to hear myself talk. Maybe it's so that you all have a better idea of just how nutty my brain is. Or maybe it will help make sense of some weird book I write, or film I create in the future... They'll look back and say, "Look, she was just as crazy back then... That explains it all."

Ok, goodnight one and all.

chi-town

Scary huh? I call it "Star Spewer." Hahaha... This is the product of a friend's husband being out of town, a girls road trip to Chi-town, and the Kraft Education Center at the Art Institute's free "studio." Today I headed down to the art museum with EBrown, and we created these sketchboard drawings. The funny thing was, for almost the entire creative session, we were the oldest ones in the room - by about 15-20 years! It was hilarious. It was totally a workshop for kids. But we partook of it anyway. However, both EBrown and I stared at our blank black slates with no creative spark - we had no idea what to draw. Therefore, we each carved random lines, and then swapped - forcing the other to create something from the random lines. The frightening picture displayed above was the product of weird creative efforts... it was all I could come up with. Quite scary, I know... I have NO idea what was going through my brain as I drew this. However, it was probably the most fun I've had in a while. Gotta love those moments of reverting back to childhood activities.

The Art Institute was a great trip. It's been about 5 or 6 years since I've been there. There were some great exhibits too. I particularily enjoyed the photography exhibit. Great stuff. We then headed to Schaumburg where we attempted to eat dinner at Big Bowl (an hour and 20 minute wait) and ended up at California Pizza Kitchen (seated instantly). After a great dinner, EBrown and I headed home, with good tunes playing on the car stereo. Having had great conversation, and brief moments of insanity, we finally made our way home after a great day of hanging out in a fun city.

EBrown - thanks for such a fun day in the city... Just one last thought for you: "Gander Mountain..."

* I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION THIS! While driving down to Chicago, the sun came out. THE SUN! As it peeked through the clouds, I giggled with glee and exclaimed, "The sun, glorious sun! I forgot what you looked like!" I closed my eyes and briefly soaked in the warmth and brightness of the sunshine!

sunshine

There are only a few situations in which I will say this - I hate the weather. If it's snowing, I will say "I hate the weater," or, if the humidity is close to being unbearable, I will say, "I hate the weather." But it is rare for me to say "I hate the weather" when it is raining. Typically, I absolutely love rain. There's something so great about it. However, I believe we're now on like day 15 of constant dreary weather, and to that I say, "I hate the weather."

When it feels like 4:00 in the afternoon all day, when it's so damp it makes 40 degrees feel bone-chillingly cold, when you can't seem to warm up or dry off no matter how hard you try - it turns from being a great thing, to a yucky thing.

And for whatever reason, it makes me really sad. I can't even tell you how happy rain usually makes me. If a thunderstorm rolls in, or there's a heavy beating on the roof from the rain - brilliant. But this - this is no fun. I've become so lethargic, so unmotivated, so sleepy... and just down right sad.

I could really use some sunshine right now.

Who would have ever thought the girl who constantly prays for thunderstorms would ask for sunshine. But I am. Right now. Asking for a little bit of glorious sunlight to beam through the clouds. Just for some momentary relief from the dreariness.

You know how there's rain dances? Is there such a thing as a sun dance (and I don't mean the car)? If so, I think we all need to have a massive pow-wow.

Anyone else with me on this?

jump in

I know I'm pretty late getting this on my blog, but I figured better late than never. I loved this commercial when I first saw it, and so I thought I'd share it with you who have yet to see it.

It's for the Xbox 360 - the double dutch commercial. Granted, I absolutely loved the water balloon fight one as well, but this just made me wish I lived in the city where I got to watch little kids (and I guess adults) play double dutch (something I could never do as a kid).

So, here's the link. Check it out.
You'll have to be patient though to let it buffer.
Jump In

the list

When I was little, I had big dreams of one day being able to fly. I'm not talking about flying my own airplane, I'm talking about unassisted, free form flying. My friend Leah even shared this dream with me, so much so that we tried oh-so-hard to accomplish our dream. Granted, we knew unassisted flying was out of the question. But we tried every sort of contraption we could think of. One of the funniest looking had to be us jumping off a ledge on her house holding an umbrella. Then two. We SWORE that when we held two umbrellas, we floated just a LITTLE bit longer. So of course, we were imaging what it'd be like if we had some sort of parachute or gigantic umbrella. Of course, being little girls, we couldn't get our hands on anything like that. But my absolute favorite attempt was when we tried to build a hanglider. Of course, heavy duty materials were something not easily accessible, so we had to make do with what we had - garbage bags and wooden dowels. Yes my friends, we tried VERY hard to make something that we could possibly fly with, and that was our best attempt. We put this wretched looking thing together, and would run down a hill, hoping for any amount of air time. It ultimately amounted to zero air time, but hey, you have to at least give us an A for effort, right?

As we entered the year 2006, I started thinking about that dream... I also started thinking about the list I made 2 years ago, about this time. I made a list of the things I would like to accomplish before I die. Some of them may never happen. Some of them, I can't control. But some of them are achievable. The unfortunate thing is, I lost the list. I had a hard copy of it that I had printed out and taken with me to work to hang in my cubicle. The original document was on my computer which was lost when I broke the hard drive. I no longer have a "Things I Want To Accomplish" before I die list. I was trying to remember if I posted it on my blog way back when, but I don't think I ever did, and I don't think I want to scrounge through some 200 posts to try to find it. The thing is, I don't remember all of what was on there, but I know hangliding was one of them.

Since I am no longer with a list, I thought I might just post a new one... and I thought I would share it with all of you. Like I said, some of them aren't likely to happen. Some of them I have no real control over. Some of them are MUSTS. But this is my list... It's a dream list. It's a "if I could experience life, this is how I'd do it" list.

So here goes... oh, and they're in no particular order... just as they come to mind I guess.

1.) Backpack through Europe
2.) Travel on a boat/ship up and down the coast
3.) Go hangliding/skydiving
4.) Write a book and attempt to get it published
5.) Attend the Sundance Film Festival
6.) Get married & have kids
7.) Sit in on a live show taping (Conan or Ellen = FUN!)
8.) Create a short film
9.) Learn to speak Hebrew
10.) Learn to surf
11.) Visit NYC
12.) Live in a big city (even if it's only for a short time)
13.) Take a road trip from one coast to the other
14.) Open a Children's Bookstore
15.) Act in a play (something other than a church production)
16.) Be an aunt (I'd make such a cool one, I swear!)
17.) Work on film set (anyone know of any PA positions?)
18.) Go on a missions trip to Africa
19.) Develop a good relationship with a charity organization
20.) Learn to sew
21.) Go to Austrailia/New Zealand (maybe live there?)
22.) Have an entire book of the bible memorized
23.) Meet Joaquin Phoenix (hahaha... had to put it on there)
24.) Work with M. Night Shayamalan
25.) Go whitewater rafting

Ok, I'm sure I could come up with more, but that will do for now. And I just noticed how many of them have to do with going somewhere... Can we just say I have an immense love and desire to travel?

Anyway, some of these were on my original list, and some are probably new. I know that I have one that was on there before that isn't anymore - attending the X-Games. I remember when I originally created the list, I hadn't attended the X-Games. Now I have... Let's hope a couple of these come to fruition in 2006...

new years

Happy New Year one and all! I hope that you had a fun and safe New Years, and that today you are able to merrily welcome in 2006. It's kind of odd if you think about it. Yesterday was no different than today, except that yesterday ended in "2005" and today started in "2006." Somehow the change of the year offers a change in life - a fresh start.

Last night I was able to celebrate 2005 and welcome in 2006 with some people whom I enjoy a great deal. I headed down to Illinois last night to spend New Years with my brother & sister-in-law, as well as a few of their friends.


(Gina, Drew, Kelly, and Amy)

Good times, good times. We first headed to Flat Top - a very fun restaurant in Chi-town, and then headed to Navy Pier to watch the midnight fireworks. Getting to Navy Pier was quite the ordeal (but fun) - trying to find parking, figuring out what bus to take, and attempting to make our way through the mass of people. After a crazy and unsuccessful attempt at the bathroom, we made our way to a fudge shop to satisfy Amy's...uh...I mean, the group's chocolate craving. We then made our way outside, found a bathroom where people were oblivious to its existence, and were on our way to the fireworks. But by 11:45, we had our spot on the upper level of Navy Pier, and awaited the show.



Here's one of the shots I got of the fireworks... I still haven't gotten the hang of my camera yet, so most of my fireworks shots didn't turn out. This one was probably the least blurry. But here is my attempt at another:



We only came across a few drunk people, one of which seemed very fond of Gina and Kelly. He kept repeating, "Happy New Year! Happy F***ing New Year!" over and over to both of them, even calling Kelly an endearing name (b****) to which Amy, Drew and myself doubled over in laughter. The guy had no clue we were laughing at his drunken state until right before we departed from him, and he had some lovely parting words for Kelly. We made our way onto the bus - a SCARY accordian bus - where we stood right in the middle of the accordian part. Let me just say, it was really disorienting when that bus took a turn, and certain people moved, while others didn't. Weird. I'm not sure why I was so weirded out by the bus... Aside from clowns and revolving doors, there's very little that makes me really uncomfortable. It was strange... Anyway, after our interesting bus ride, we made our way back to our cars, and headed home.

Definitely a fun night all around.

With that being said, and a good New Years celebaration, I say - welcome 2006. Let's see what you've got!