disguise

(Photo taken by Jeffrey Worthen.)

I laughed when I saw this picture – and I laughed hard. Not entirely sure why – just tickled my funny bone, I guess. Another reason why I laughed was because I just purchased this jar-like thing from Pier One that’s in the shape of a head. Basically, it’s this clear, glass jarhead. When asked why I purchased it, I tell people, “It was simply too weird and too cool to pass up.” So, when I saw this picture, it made me laugh because it made me think of my jarhead.

As funny as this picture is, as always, it got me thinking… Seems as though a lot of visuals get me thinking. A sunset. The ocean. Watching a little kid attempt to eat an ice cream cone. Seeing a tear fall down someone’s cheek. Why not add an oddly disguised mannequin head to the list?

I love this disguise though… the crazy shaggy hair, the fake mustache, the skullcap (can I tell you how much I love skullcaps, by the way?). It’s such a ridiculous disguise, isn’t it? I mean, if you saw someone walking down the street wearing such items, you might think, “Do they really think their disguise is working?” If anything, you might think the opposite – how maybe it draws attention, instead of diverting it. Sometimes I wonder how often we do that – how often I do that. How often do I wear the “I’ve got everything together” disguise, when it’s so utterly obvious that I don’t have it together? How often do I mask my struggling spiritual welfare with Sunday morning pew attire and a smile on my face? How many times do I think I’m camouflaged, when really, everyone around me can see through the gaudy façade? How many times do I leave the house looking like this mannequin head?

These questions lead me to two different rabbit trails about this whole idea of wearing a mask. First, the idea of being an image bearer… I was thinking about this concept – that I am Christ’s image bearer. SCARY! I’ll be perfectly honest; the thought of being Christ to someone else is a tad daunting to me. I like being one of his sheep… but being a representative of my shepherd, that’s a different story. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I sport the disguising digs. I’m afraid of what I may or may not represent.

But the thing that stuck with me the most is just how much my not-so-master of disguise plan interferes with community. Granted, bearing my soul to the world isn’t the ideal option either. But I often wonder what our mannequin head-like behavior does to authentic, transparent community? What happens if we don’t allow ourselves to be known by our brothers and sisters? What might we be missing out on? How is community hindered if we all come together wearing some form of disguise? What if we left our wig, fake mustache, and skullcap on the mantle, adorning the mannequin where it belongs? What would happen if we let go?

These are all questions I have been mulling over lately. I haven’t arrived at any answers. To be honest, the thought of this sort of community is both exhilarating and extremely frightening all at the same time. I mean, the thought of being able to openly and honestly “bear one another’s burdens”, and grow together as a community is such a freeing thought, but the thought of having to let my guard down, to get let go of the security found in the wig, mustache & cap? Not altogether settling. I’m not sure what to do with all these questions…

All I know, the disguise isn’t working anymore…