11.20.2004

fake plastic trees

The green plastic watering can
For a fake Chinese rubber plant
In fake plastic earth

That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns

He used to do surgery
For girls in the 80's
But gravity always wins

It wears him out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears...

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love

But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I could just turn and run

And it wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out

And if I could be, who you wanted
If I could be, who you wanted
All the time

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I found part of this song written in my journal a while back, and I forgot how much I absolutely love this song. The song is such a great song sonically and Thom Yorke has such a haunting voice. But the lyrics are great as well...

The lyrics that I have written in my journal are "She looks like the real thing, she tastes like the real thing...my fake plastic love". I wrote these down at time when I was struggling with self worth/image. And I know this may sound weird, but this song was so great to listen to at that point in time... I mean, it's talking about all these things (which may outwardly be appealing - "used to do surgery, for girls in the 80s") as being fake and plastic, and yet they're not fulfilling ("but gravity always wins")... In fact, just the opposite. "It wears me out..." While I have yet to master this whole self worth thing, and I continue to struggle with it, it's encouraging to know that who I am is better than who anyone else would want me to be, you know? So I suppose this is a strange entry... I have just been in too many conversations with people lately and going through my own struggles with this issue as of late. Why is it that "fake plastic" is so much more appealing? Not only to be, but also to acquire? I mean, this trickles down into relationships, what we own (or want to own) what we expect, and friendships even... I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day about surface level relationships, and how I struggle with them because they're so unnatural - fake & plastic. Why do we take part in this, when like as the song says, it wears us out. I personally think that if we were all a little more open and honest with one another, it may not be so wearisome. You wouldn't have to put forth all the effort to uphold the facade. You wouldn't have to spend all of your energy on trying to HAVE energy. I recognize the fact that this is so much easier said than done... I'm no where NEAR mastering this concept. But I have been challenged lately to let the people around me know what is going on in my head and my heart, and being ok with that.

Let me know if any of you have any tricks for getting the hang of this!

Oh, and I would just like to say thanks to Sarah M. for getting my brain on this kick - a girl who strives to be open and honest with most everyone she knows and meets. Thanks girl - you rock!

1 comment:

Katy said...

I totally agree, and I like all the applications you made from this song (which I've never heard before) ... I also want to not care what others think of the "real me" yet it's such a part of human nature for others' opinions (or society's norm) to have a strong influence on us. Hopefully that struggle will decrease over time, but I'm not convinced that's always how it works ...