inspiration

I've been lacking a bit of inspiration lately. It's been a long time since I've felt truly inspired. Part of me wants to believe that it's because I've not experienced a lot of things that others have. I've never lost someone extremely close to me. I've never been severely sick or hurt. I've never been without shelter or food. I've never been in love. I've never gotten kicked out of school. I've never been drunk. Never smoked, never done drugs... Never bungee jumped, never traveled overseas, never camped out under the stars when it wasn't a part of some sort of huge campsite. I've never been kissed. I've never been to New York, Seattle, Portland, San Fransicso, or Austin... All places I'd like to go. There are a lot of things I feel like I've never experienced, and in some respects, I feel a bit naive. I feel like I'm missing out sometimes - that everyone around me has some sort of knowledge, some experience, that I've never had, and possibly might never have.

But then I began to think about inspiration, and what it is that inspires people. I realized that I was only looking to the grandiose, only looking in the lofty places, and not the lowly. I've forgetten that truth and beauty can be found in the smallest of things, things to which most everyone has access if only they would look. Things like the smile of a child (which I see lots of every day), someone's laugh, the wind, a flower, the sunset, a look from someone, a kind word... And I believe that even not so beautiful things can inspire as well - like sadness from a fading friendship, cancelled plans or a change in plans, self image issues, a relationship that was desired but never happened, or even just a vague sense of doubt... These are all things that may not be classified as "amazing" or "tragic," but they can inspire, if one is willing to look more closely...

It's so easy for me to focus on the big things I've never experienced. I think sometimes I feel like so much music and literature is chalked full of things like heartache, love, loss, places visted, people met... that I feel if my "writings" don't contain those things, it will not be great or noteworthy.

But I think about how true writers can look at the small things - a blade of grass, a cloud, a piece of art, a blank sheet of paper - and come up with the most amazing and elaborate stories and poems that are full of life and vibrant in color. I've been realizing more and more that I've been so focused on the big things, that I miss the small things.

I was writing out my list of things I want to do in 2007, as well as reading other people's lists. I came to the realization that I have not ever experienced a sunrise. I mean really, truely experienced a sunrise. Where I sit and patiently wait for the sun to peak over the horizon, and then soak in every ounce of light as it is given to me. A sunrise. Something that happens every single day - without fail - and I have yet to experience it. When was the last time I sat by the lake and just watched it? The last time I watched a rain drop as it made it's journey down a window pane?

I realized I have a lot more to experience than traveling overseas, going bungee jumping, and falling in love. There are so many small things - attainable things - I only have to notice, giving me the possibility of great inspiration.

Here's to finding inspiration in the little things.

(pic taken from omar_franc at www.sxc.hu)