I had a conversation with a friend of mine a while back. We were discussing which would be worse - to lose your sense of sight or your sense of hearing? We duked it out a while, debating which would be worse, both of creating pretty strong arguments. I believe that I tended to lean towards sight. I would not want to lose my sight. Reason being, I would not get to experience so many things that move me deeply. I would not get to see another sunset. I would not get to see the ocean again. If I am blessed to have kids, I wouldn't get to see what they look like, and I wouldn't be able to see the wonder on their faces. I would never be able to see beautiful artwork again - a beautiful panting, an amazing photograph... I would have such a large void not getting to see these things ever again.
However, as I sat at my parents church on Christmas Eve, I was listening to orchestra music. Now granted, this is not some major symphony or amazing musical ensemble, but they were pretty good. However, as I sat and listened to this music, I had such emotion stirred within me. There is something about music that is so amazing. I have loved it as far back as I can remember, and even now, I crave new music all the time. I was just thinking to myself that my iTunes collection is the most odd mixture of music. I have hip/hop & rap in there, I have hard rock and old school metal in there, I have total pop music, I think Enya is in there somewhere, I have big band music, I have instrumental soundtrack music in there, and I even have weird Viggo Mortensen music that makes absolutely NO sense. But music has always been a huge part of my life. I played piano for 8 years. I currently play the djembe, and like to goof around on guitar. I'm hooked on playing with Garage Band and can play for hours. And there would be no more "Name that Tune" while driving along in the car. What would I do if I couldn't hear? There are many more reasons to think about, but this one hit me kind of hard as I left my conversation with my friend, and as I was sitting listening to all these random instruments the other night, making the most beautiful sounds.
I know, I know... I haven't lost either of these senses yet. But it was definitely something I thought about as I left that conversation. I realize, it's kind of a depressing thought process. However, it makes you think what sorts of things are most important to you too. I have yet to come down on one side or the other, but it definitely made me more grateful for the fact that I have fully functioning senses.
1 comment:
Chris here:
Ooh! I was that friend! Yeah, I've thought about that stuff too. You know about my dad's eye problems, right? Well, when he was sitting there on the bed waiting to be prepped for his last surgery, he was just staring at me and it was creeping me out. I knew why he was just looking at me: he wasn't sure he would ever see me again. He told me that there were three things that he hopes he can see: 1) mom; 2) his sons get married; 3) grandchildren. The rest - a sunset, other children, a painting - they were just details.
Because my dad has come very close to losing his vision entirely, he is always conscious of it. He sits and watches the weirdest things. We tease him about his wildly poor depth perception, since only one eye works at the moment, but I, at least, am always reminded just how fragile my senses can be. It is hard to take sight for granted when your father has come very close to losing his.
And then there's hearing... I am totally with you. To lose my hearing would mean no more music as I enjoy it now. It would mean I would have to learn to learn completely differently. How do I do work with a phone? How would I worship, since so much of my worship is audial?
Which left me pondering these lyrics: What if I were deaf and blind, what if I were mute? If I couldn't hear the music, if I couldn't sing the tune? I guess I'd sit outside the palace gate, feel the rumble of the church brigade, and only have my love to offer You...
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