baby city

Ok, so the top picture is a picture of Angelo Novelli. He was born three weeks ago. The second picture is Carter & Enzo Novelli - twin brothers that were just born on Thursday. Jack Sundstedt is due any day now.

My friend Cindy released her first CD this evening, and held a concert to kick off the release. While I was there, it was baby city. Not only did quite a few people (most of whom I didn't know) have babies, a lot of people were expecting as well. And then the Novelli family is blessed with 3 babies, and other babies are on the way: Sundstedt Baby (come on Jack!) and my friends Vicky and Laurie are pregnant too - Baby Brown and Baby James... Babies all over the place! So great though... I love 'em. I have to say that seeing so many families, and spending time with my friend's kids makes me long so badly to be a wife and mom. I have no idea if this is the plan God has in store for me, but I sure hope so. I look at these new little lives, and I hear my friends talk about their love for their kids and the miracle of watching them be born, and it makes me hope and pray that I get to experience even one ounce of the joy they are experiencing. Who knows... Maybe I'll only be blessed with getting to be an aunt at some point in the future.

Whatever the case, I'm enjoying baby city! They're so cute, and so much fun to have around! YAY for Angelo, Enzo, and Carter who are already here, and for Jack, Baby Brown, and Baby James who are on the way!

community

Warning: Large amounts of unprocessed thoughts to ensue

This week I was able to be a part of an amazing community. I worked at a youth conference down in Wheaton, IL with some of the coolest people in the world. But as I began to think about the week, I realized how much healthy community was lacking in my life, and I began to realize just how vital community is to one's spiritual journey.

For the past 9 months, I have not been attending the church I was a part of for the past 5 years. Until this past week, I hadn't taken communion in almost a year. And I have never felt the effects of my situation more than I have this week. I was brought to tears a couple times throughout the week about just how far away God feels. I was talking with a friend of mine, telling him that I'm not angry with God, I still desire to learn about Him, and I hate feeling the way I do, but I can't help it. God feels so far away, and I believe a good part of it is because I do not have a community that I belong to.

I have a small group made up of 7 other individuals. Each of them have been burned by the same thing I have, so we're not the most encouraging to one another. It's a little tough when everyone in the group goes through the same thing - there's no outside perspective, no outside energy to lift each other up. So while I have that "community" it's not the healthiest situation. We don't challenge each other the way we ought. We don't encourage each other the way we ought. And we definitely don't teach each other the way we ought. I'm not even sure we love each other the way that we ought.

This feels a bit like just a bunch of ramblings. And I suppose that's what this is... however, I've just been thinking a lot about how vital community is, and how drastically one's heart can change if not plugged into a healthy one. I know that in time, I will find another community. I know that this feeling of distance between God and I will eventually become less and less of a gap. But for now, it's definitely uncomfortable. It makes me uneasy, unsettled, and frustrated. These feelings of a sub-par relationship with God (which I know will never be perfect, but I know can be better than what it is) weighs heavily on my brain, and I pray that change is around the corner.

Thanks for listening to my thoughts, fears and frustrations.
Sometimes they're written out of intense emotion, but at the same time, it's how I feel, you know?

More ponderings to follow...

m.i.a.

It's been a bit since I last posted, and may indeed be a while until I post again. I am about an hour away from leaving to go down to Wheaton, IL to work my 4th summer at SEMP (Students Equipped to Minister to Peers - it's a youth conference). Both excitement and nerves have hit my stomach, and my stomach is unsure how to digest them. Lots of changes this year... Both of my sidekicks are gone (I will most definitely miss my music buddy and everything that I learn from Aaron, and I will for sure miss my roomie with whom I have late night talks and laughs with)...Another friend will be missing this year - Jarred - and OH how I will miss his laughs (so unbelievably contageous!). Also, a little rearranging of leadership - I will be working under my brother for the first time ever. We haven't around each other this long (a week) since I was probably 12. Also, our shepherd for the week - Mark - is waiting on pins and needles for his wife who is due with twins any day. And there are a whole mess of new comers to the game this year. So lots of changes... But I'm anticipating great things. Great challenges, but great rewards as well. I'll try to post if I can...

But I just thought I'd give you all a heads up as to where I was so you didn't think I was MIA.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, and listen to my inconsistent ramblings.

Rock on, my friends.

an awakening

The G8 summit has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I wrote an article at Relevant called "An Awakening" where I discuss some of these thoughts... You can read it at the link below, or click on the title of this post. People have the ability to post their thoughts on the article as well as the issue at hand, so if you want to check out what other people are thinking, you can pop over there...

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=6782

This morning I thought a lot about Tony Blair and London, but the day slowly distracted me until I forgot about it. It wasn't until I got home tonight, and was like, "Oh my gosh... How horrible of me to have forgotten..." I'm still amidst processing it all, and will post more about it when it's not 2am in the morning.

So much going on in the world, it can be a bit overwhelming at times.

happy fourth

Fourth of July. Came quickly this year. I have to say, this is my favorite non-religious holiday. Granted, there aren't a TON of non-religious holidays, but this one is by far my favorite. You can have St. Patricks Day (and I'm even incredibly Irish), you can have Valentines Day, you can have Thanksgiving (that sounds terrible, doesn't it?), you can have pretty much any other holiday, but The Fourth of July is mine.

I'm a fireworks junkie. Oddly enough, I didn't make it to any fireworks displays this year. I was able to watch them from a field, watching four different counties all in the horizon. Our next door neighbors were setting them off. But I didn't actually make it to an official fireworks display. While I could have carried on with my own tradition (I have a secret spot where I watch them from my car), I just didn't have the "umph" to go. But I would still consider myself a fireworks junkie. I have no idea why I'm so utterly fascinated with colorful flames in the sky... It's like waves - I'm completely fascinated by water tumbling over itself. There's something just so magical about fireworks. I love them. If I ever have the ability to be proposed to, I think it would ROCK to be proposed to under fireworks...Just a total side thought there. I remember I went to a friend's wedding, and as we were leaving the reception, and bursting before us were huge fireworks. Amazing.

I hope that everyone had a happy forth, filled with fun and fireworks.