It's been a little over 4 years.
Rain of Wonder has been around for a little over 4 years. It was a fun blog to have, and launched me into a whole new realm of writing. However, I believe I have come to the end of a season, a believe a new start is in order.
Therefore, this is the end for Rain of Wonder.
I have started a new blog which you can check out at:
http://tosinginthesilence.blogspot.com
I'd love to see you there!
Goodnight, and good luck, Rain of Wonder... We had a good run.
8.23.2008
8.03.2008
little kid life lessons
There's something so amazing about kids and their ability to share their hearts. I seriously sometimes think I learn the most from people under the age of 10.
Tonight I made a new friend. She's in the 3rd grade. And she likes to draw.
She is also about to be a big sister.
She also wants to play basketball in school.
Her dog also just recently died. So did her grandpa.
She also moves a lot, and hates having to say goodbye to her friends.
And she has an aunt in her life who she says feels is more like her "dad."
Wasn't totally sure what that meant... but that's beside the point.
It was interesting to me how, in the short span of time I sat across from her coloring, that she shared so much of her life with me. I belong to a church plant in Bayview called Veritas, where our pastors Tim and Vicky are passionate about EXPERIENCING God, not just talking about him. They create opportunities for us to engage with God's word in tactile ways - things like drawing, which was exactly what we did tonight. I could see my soon-to-be little friend quickly run over to the table, pick up a piece of paper, and begin to draw. Initially, I wondered if I should sit down by her and start to color, or if that would just freak her out. I decided to go with my gut, which was saying "I WANT TO COLOR!"
I sat down across from her, and within a few seconds, she was politely asking to use the color I was using. I had great plans for my brown colored pencil, but opted to infuse some other colors in my drawing so that she could use the brown pencil. From that point on, my little friend became an open book. She shared with me her excitement and fears for school. She told me she was about to become a big sister. She told me all about her interactions with her family, and about her Grandma who has 7 dogs, 3 cats, a bird, some turtles, and possibly some other animals, not to mention an entire household of people. She quickly warned me against some of the dogs as well, telling me they are quite mean. Good to know. Her stories went on and on, and I was absolutely amazed by her desire to share them with me. I felt so honored to have a glance into this little girl's life, and that she trusted me enough to share it all with me.
As we got closer to finishing our pictures, I noticed she had drawn some grass with a tree in the middle, and a little girl standing next to the tree. I asked her what she drew, and if the little girl was her. She answered with a yes, and I also asked her if the little bubble above her head with "God," written in it, was a prayer. She said, "I'm praying to God, telling him I'm sad about my dog."
My heart just melted. This little girl was so sad about her dog dying, and simply wrote out a little prayer to God to let him know she was sad. It wasn't written out of anger towards God, as if she believed he took away the puppy. It was not her complaining to God because she no longer has her friend. She was merely expressing her sadness to God as a friend, trusting that he'd provide her with comfort...
This past week has been an incredibly hard week for me for multiple reasons. There really isn't any need for me to explain why it was a rough week, but it indeed was quite difficult on many levels. What is interesting to me is that this little girl showed me something I've had a lot of people try telling me before, and I just didn't get it. She showed me what it is to just "be" in whatever emotion you're feeling... and even a step further, to express it to God. So often, I try to "figure it out" before the IDEA of talking to God even crosses my mind. I analyze, I rationalize, I compartmentalize... anything I can do to "fix the situation," when instead, I need to simply write a letter that says, "God, I'm sad..." and just be with God, in my sadness. No fixing, no blaming, no complaining. Just being...
So often, I think I have to figure it out... I have to not FEEL. I grew up in a culture where feelings were not to be trusted, so I continually shoved them aside or ignored them. It worked for a little while, but the older I got, and the more I stuffed, the more I learned I couldn't stuff for much longer. Now, as an adult, I'm learning how to handle my emotions and work through them. Needless to say, the process has been quite ugly...
But it's interesting to me how people like my little friend tonight, can show me something so profound in something so simple as a colored pencil drawing. My heart melted by her genuine openness and honesty with me, and her willingness to be sad before God. She could have easily written angry words in the bubble, asking "God, why did you take my dog?" or demanding "God, I want another puppy!" Instead, she just simply said to me, "I am telling him I'm sad."
As we finished coloring our pictures, I told her I was glad to have met her, and that I hope I get to see her next week so we could color some more together. She gave me a big grin, said it was nice to meet me too, and we then parted ways. She taught me a lesson I've been trying to learn for years... My blog entry doesn't do justice in describing our conversation, or this little girl's heart. But I'm so thankful to have met my little friend, and am indebted to her for the little kid life lesson.
May I be a person who faces my emotions, and learns to be more open and honest with those around me. May I learn to live with my emotions, and not always try to "fix" them. And may I allow the God who designed me to be an emotional being, engage with me in those moments.
Tonight I made a new friend. She's in the 3rd grade. And she likes to draw.
She is also about to be a big sister.
She also wants to play basketball in school.
Her dog also just recently died. So did her grandpa.
She also moves a lot, and hates having to say goodbye to her friends.
And she has an aunt in her life who she says feels is more like her "dad."
Wasn't totally sure what that meant... but that's beside the point.
It was interesting to me how, in the short span of time I sat across from her coloring, that she shared so much of her life with me. I belong to a church plant in Bayview called Veritas, where our pastors Tim and Vicky are passionate about EXPERIENCING God, not just talking about him. They create opportunities for us to engage with God's word in tactile ways - things like drawing, which was exactly what we did tonight. I could see my soon-to-be little friend quickly run over to the table, pick up a piece of paper, and begin to draw. Initially, I wondered if I should sit down by her and start to color, or if that would just freak her out. I decided to go with my gut, which was saying "I WANT TO COLOR!"
I sat down across from her, and within a few seconds, she was politely asking to use the color I was using. I had great plans for my brown colored pencil, but opted to infuse some other colors in my drawing so that she could use the brown pencil. From that point on, my little friend became an open book. She shared with me her excitement and fears for school. She told me she was about to become a big sister. She told me all about her interactions with her family, and about her Grandma who has 7 dogs, 3 cats, a bird, some turtles, and possibly some other animals, not to mention an entire household of people. She quickly warned me against some of the dogs as well, telling me they are quite mean. Good to know. Her stories went on and on, and I was absolutely amazed by her desire to share them with me. I felt so honored to have a glance into this little girl's life, and that she trusted me enough to share it all with me.
As we got closer to finishing our pictures, I noticed she had drawn some grass with a tree in the middle, and a little girl standing next to the tree. I asked her what she drew, and if the little girl was her. She answered with a yes, and I also asked her if the little bubble above her head with "God," written in it, was a prayer. She said, "I'm praying to God, telling him I'm sad about my dog."
My heart just melted. This little girl was so sad about her dog dying, and simply wrote out a little prayer to God to let him know she was sad. It wasn't written out of anger towards God, as if she believed he took away the puppy. It was not her complaining to God because she no longer has her friend. She was merely expressing her sadness to God as a friend, trusting that he'd provide her with comfort...
This past week has been an incredibly hard week for me for multiple reasons. There really isn't any need for me to explain why it was a rough week, but it indeed was quite difficult on many levels. What is interesting to me is that this little girl showed me something I've had a lot of people try telling me before, and I just didn't get it. She showed me what it is to just "be" in whatever emotion you're feeling... and even a step further, to express it to God. So often, I try to "figure it out" before the IDEA of talking to God even crosses my mind. I analyze, I rationalize, I compartmentalize... anything I can do to "fix the situation," when instead, I need to simply write a letter that says, "God, I'm sad..." and just be with God, in my sadness. No fixing, no blaming, no complaining. Just being...
So often, I think I have to figure it out... I have to not FEEL. I grew up in a culture where feelings were not to be trusted, so I continually shoved them aside or ignored them. It worked for a little while, but the older I got, and the more I stuffed, the more I learned I couldn't stuff for much longer. Now, as an adult, I'm learning how to handle my emotions and work through them. Needless to say, the process has been quite ugly...
But it's interesting to me how people like my little friend tonight, can show me something so profound in something so simple as a colored pencil drawing. My heart melted by her genuine openness and honesty with me, and her willingness to be sad before God. She could have easily written angry words in the bubble, asking "God, why did you take my dog?" or demanding "God, I want another puppy!" Instead, she just simply said to me, "I am telling him I'm sad."
As we finished coloring our pictures, I told her I was glad to have met her, and that I hope I get to see her next week so we could color some more together. She gave me a big grin, said it was nice to meet me too, and we then parted ways. She taught me a lesson I've been trying to learn for years... My blog entry doesn't do justice in describing our conversation, or this little girl's heart. But I'm so thankful to have met my little friend, and am indebted to her for the little kid life lesson.
May I be a person who faces my emotions, and learns to be more open and honest with those around me. May I learn to live with my emotions, and not always try to "fix" them. And may I allow the God who designed me to be an emotional being, engage with me in those moments.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)