continued thoughts

Continued thoughts on community...

I was looking through pictures of my Judson College days, and realizing how much I miss having a kind of community like that. Not necessarily living in a dorm, but having friends RIGHT there, to spend time with and share life with wherever and whenever. I went to a birthday party for my friend's one year old son the other day, and saw some friends I haven't seen in quite a while. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, and it felt great. I saw a friend of mine last weekend who I haven't talked to in two years. It was so great to see her, and I felt like in some respects, we picked up where we left off. We had to fill each other in on what we missed out on over the past two years, but it seemed like it wasn't really two years that had passed by. And I just recently started emailing with another old friend from high school, and I love the fact that we were finally able to reconnect.

Which made me think... We are so unbelievably designed to connect with other people, and to have human interaction, it's amazing...

In my film class, we just watched "The Life Aquatic". Now, this movie got pretty terrible reviews, and most people I know hated the movie. However, this movie shows a great picture of that need for human interaction and connection. Throughout the whole movie, there is this distance between people. Emotions are very rigid and stone like, and used more for a comedic effect (example - Steve Zissou kissing the head of Estaban). However, by the end of the movie, there is this definite need for human connection and emotion. They are all experiencing something so amazing and beautiful together, that they can't help but reach out to each other (it's kind of like a "laying on of hands" scene - very interesting).

But isn't life mostly like that? That we're all experiencing something amazing and beautiful together, and long to reach out to one another? In "The Life Aquatic", Steve Zissou's best friend Estaban was killed by a Jaguar Shark, and he spends the whole film on a mission to find the Jaguar Shark. When he finally does see him, it's this beautiful creature, and the rest of them all feel like they are a part of something so huge. I think that's how I feel so often in life. I experience these moments that are so beautiful, and make me feel a part of something so huge, and I want nothing more than to experience it with a community around me.

Currently, I don't have that sort of community. I have people who I know and love, and spend time with, but none of them are really connected to each other, or a part of a larger group. I spend time with each of them individually, and do not have a "corporate group of friends" to which I belong. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm not saying I need to be surrounded by 50 people in order to experience meaningful, and fulfilling friendship. But I am missing it. I'm missing being plugged into a church. I'm missing going on "group trips" where I get to experience the adventure with numerous people (which I hope to someday also be a thing that I experience with a family - you know, husband and kids type community). I miss sitting and watching movies with a mixed crowd where half of us are laughing, and the other half is like, "What? I don't get it?" I miss the joys that come from large amounts of laughter, as well as large amounts of tears.

I know, to everything there is a season... And I know in good time, I will once again be a part of a community. That once again, I will find a church to call home and this anxiousness and frustration with organized "church" will go away. I know that this is my current situation in life, and I'm ok with it.

There's just days that I miss it.