disguise

(Photo taken by Jeffrey Worthen.)

I laughed when I saw this picture – and I laughed hard. Not entirely sure why – just tickled my funny bone, I guess. Another reason why I laughed was because I just purchased this jar-like thing from Pier One that’s in the shape of a head. Basically, it’s this clear, glass jarhead. When asked why I purchased it, I tell people, “It was simply too weird and too cool to pass up.” So, when I saw this picture, it made me laugh because it made me think of my jarhead.

As funny as this picture is, as always, it got me thinking… Seems as though a lot of visuals get me thinking. A sunset. The ocean. Watching a little kid attempt to eat an ice cream cone. Seeing a tear fall down someone’s cheek. Why not add an oddly disguised mannequin head to the list?

I love this disguise though… the crazy shaggy hair, the fake mustache, the skullcap (can I tell you how much I love skullcaps, by the way?). It’s such a ridiculous disguise, isn’t it? I mean, if you saw someone walking down the street wearing such items, you might think, “Do they really think their disguise is working?” If anything, you might think the opposite – how maybe it draws attention, instead of diverting it. Sometimes I wonder how often we do that – how often I do that. How often do I wear the “I’ve got everything together” disguise, when it’s so utterly obvious that I don’t have it together? How often do I mask my struggling spiritual welfare with Sunday morning pew attire and a smile on my face? How many times do I think I’m camouflaged, when really, everyone around me can see through the gaudy façade? How many times do I leave the house looking like this mannequin head?

These questions lead me to two different rabbit trails about this whole idea of wearing a mask. First, the idea of being an image bearer… I was thinking about this concept – that I am Christ’s image bearer. SCARY! I’ll be perfectly honest; the thought of being Christ to someone else is a tad daunting to me. I like being one of his sheep… but being a representative of my shepherd, that’s a different story. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I sport the disguising digs. I’m afraid of what I may or may not represent.

But the thing that stuck with me the most is just how much my not-so-master of disguise plan interferes with community. Granted, bearing my soul to the world isn’t the ideal option either. But I often wonder what our mannequin head-like behavior does to authentic, transparent community? What happens if we don’t allow ourselves to be known by our brothers and sisters? What might we be missing out on? How is community hindered if we all come together wearing some form of disguise? What if we left our wig, fake mustache, and skullcap on the mantle, adorning the mannequin where it belongs? What would happen if we let go?

These are all questions I have been mulling over lately. I haven’t arrived at any answers. To be honest, the thought of this sort of community is both exhilarating and extremely frightening all at the same time. I mean, the thought of being able to openly and honestly “bear one another’s burdens”, and grow together as a community is such a freeing thought, but the thought of having to let my guard down, to get let go of the security found in the wig, mustache & cap? Not altogether settling. I’m not sure what to do with all these questions…

All I know, the disguise isn’t working anymore…

school daze

In an avoidance of my homework, I decided to color this Garfield picture. My mom read my blog a while ago where I wrote about coloring and how much of a release it is. The next day, I got home, and hanging on my door in a plastic Walgreen’s bag were two coloring books and a brand new box of crayons! I have a million crayons, but this was a brand new box. SCORE! Well, I decided to take advantage of this new acquisition. Due to no cable/internet at our house for the time being, I decided that coloring would be a good distraction from my homework. But I also decided that I would color something to express how I felt – and this was the picture I chose. School Daze. It not only reminded me of how I feel while sitting through all of my classes (this semester is a tough one to bear) but this picture also reminded me of one of my earliest video ventures. Granted, I have mentioned before my attempt, along with my creative sidekick Leah, to create a television station. (If you don’t know the story, ask me about it sometime… It’s kind of amusing.) However, this picture reminded me of my first real video – that would be shown to an actual audience, and that was supposed to serve an actual purpose.

When I was a senior, I was on The Student Body Council – referred to as ASB (All Student Body). I was a facilitator – basically, the doer of grunt work. My friend and I were given a project – to video tape all the events and craziness that ensue during the week of homecoming, and put a compilation video together. At the end of the week, it would be shown at the Homecoming banquet (hey, I went to a private school – we didn’t have dances!)

So my friend and I set out to tape everything we could. However, a few problems existed.
A.) Neither she nor I had ever made a compilation tape before.
B.) We found that people (especially girls) hated to be video taped.
C.) No one would humor us, and do fun things for the camera… completely stoic.

We ended up with barely any entertaining footage… Therefore, we decided to try to compensate when it came to editing. We started out the video with footage we shot at my house. We taped up a sign on the wall that said “School Daze” written all crazy-like. While that was on the screen, we edited in an audio clip from Space Ghost that we thought was hilarious. If you’ve ever listened to Space Ghost, it was a Brak sketch where he talks about hiring a monkey to take notes for him in class. We thought the clip was suiting, and thought ourselves geniuses to put this clip at the beginning of our video. Little did we know that no one else in our high school was even aware of what Space Ghost was, nor did they catch the jokes in the sketch. We then proceeded to show clips from the week, set to the song “Crazy Times” by Jars of Clay, and this song by Plumb (the name as escaped me, sorry). I remember at the time thinking how cool our video turned out. Now, I cringe to think about the fact that I was that impressed with my lack of ability.

It’s so funny that as we age, we look back on the things we did in our younger years and laugh. My journals from high school are a riot, and yet really immensely embarrassing. As I write this, I’m wondering about this blog. Will ten years from now, I look back at it and think, “What in the world was I thinking?” In ten years, will I look back and think, “Wow, what immature things to think about and write about?” Will I say to myself, “Who ever thought of the blog anyway? What a silly notion!”

blogs

I wrote an article for relavantmagazine.com a while back entitled Taming The Technology Trap. While I believe the angle I presented - that technology can cause damage to human interaction, I also agree that techonology can seriously aid in human interaction. It was a tough article to write because of where I was at when I wrote it. I was struggling with how much I was sucked into all my "gadgets" and was seeing them as being destructive to human interaction. Plus, when you write those kinds of stories, being "wishy-washy" doesn't go over so well... People are going to disagree with the article no matter what, so I'd rather them disagree with an actual stance, instead of my fence riding.

But back to this idea of technology, more pointedly, blogs. I've had numerous conversations with people about the world of blogs and their functions. There have been speculations as to whether it is some sort of narcissistic act. It can be. There have been speculations that it is a sort of "public journal". It can be. There are other thoughts that it's a "foot in the door" to getting published. Could be. All of these thoughts can and may be true. But I'd like to share with you my reason for blogging, and what I absolutely love about this concept.

When I first started blogging, I had no idea why I was doing it. I knew that I was going on a road trip to California by myself, that I wanted to take my laptop with me so I could journal along the way, and that it could be a cool thing if some of my friends and family followed along with me as I traveled across the US. That was the initial start to it. Shortly after that, it became more of an online journal of sorts. I pretty much just wrote what I was thinking, and a few (we're talking like 3 or 4) of my family/friends read it. Then, after I became an intern at Relevant magazine, and a lot more people started frequenting my blog, it became an ego thing. I tried to post more important things, my writing style shifted to try to sound more professional than journalistic, I tried to become more humorous, and over all, the look and feel of my blog shifted a bit. I was also hoping that as more and more people landed on my blog, the more and more networked I would become.

That brings me to now, where I see a little bit of all of these, but there's still something more that makes doing this worthwhile. Community. Now, it's definitely a weird form of community, I'll give you that, but it's a form of community none the less. It's kind of interesting... When I talk to my friends that are here in person with me, and I'm telling them about a person I've met either via Relevant, Flickr, etc., it's weird because I'll say something like, "My Relevant friend..." or "My Flickr friend..." like somehow they haven't achieved the title of "friend" because I haven't met them live in person.

This whole blog community thing has been a strange one, but amazing. I've met people from all over, with lots of different backgrounds and interests, with different careers, different dreams and aspirations, and different lifestyles. And it rocks my socks off. I love some of the conversations I've had with people. I love asking them questions, and conversing back and forth. I love that we've been challenging each other with ideas, thoughts, and questions about God. I love the fact that I have people praying for me in different cities, states, and even countries. I love it that even though I've never met (and may never meet) some of these people, that I am able to feel comfortable having a friendship with them, and sharing our lives together.

But there's another aspect beyond meeting new people, and having new friends and that is the ability to have community with people who I already have strong relationships with, but with whom I don't share the same space anymore. I get to read about what's going on in their life, and they get to read about what's going on in mine. We can comment back and forth, challenge each other, and grow together without having to be in proximity to one another. I know that just recently, there has been a particular circle of my friends who have really gotten into visiting each others blogs... It's so awesome...

While I don't think that blogs by ANY means should replace face-to-face human interaction, I think that it's another angle of human interaction that has the potential to be huge. The impact it could have spiritually is a whole other post... But I just wanted to write a little bit about my appreciation for blogs today. For so long, I felt like such a geek for having one. Then, I felt egotistical. Now, I just feel blessed.

Thanks to all of you who come here, and allow me to be a part of your world as well.

smith

Blog community, meet Smith. Smith, meet the blog community. Smith sits on top of one of my bookshelves and looks down upon my room... So why am I writing about my sock monkey?

The reason is this. It's not really about Smith, but more about what Smith represents. I've been thinking a ton about my future. You'll have to bear with me the next few months as I question my future, and wonder what it holds. The fact that I'm graduating in May causes me to think a lot about it. And my sock monkey (among other things) has caused to me consider something - kids. Granted, I'm nowhere near having my own kids, but I've been thinking a lot more lately about how much I enjoy kids, and I enjoy their activities. My sister-in-law has been telling me this for quite some time, probably ever since I met her, that someday, I would work with children. I never bought into the idea. I think all the babysitting I did as a young teen kind of turned me off to the idea. I was a nanny for a while, but that wasn't the greatest experience either. But I keep coming back to this idea of working with children... Even in wanting to open a children's bookstore... Sure, it was initially about my love for children's literature, but the more I talk about it, the more I get excited about getting to interact with kids... Watching them learn, seeing them imagine... So great.

So Smith seems a bit of a constant reminder of this thought. I began to think about what sorts of "careers" I could pursue in working with little kids. Day care doesn't seem to interest me that much. Maybe working in ministry somewhere with kids? That seems like it'd be too many meetings, too much planning, not enough interacting.

The thought that keeps occuring to me is teaching. For a while I had thought about teaching English to high school students, and even about teaching at a collegiate level. However, the thought of teaching little kids seems kind of appealing. Like, what if I were to become an art teacher for kindergardeners? My cousin's husband does that for a living... He's so gentle and seems like he has such patience. But how fun would that be? Or what about teaching music to little kids? I remember being in like 3rd grade, and getting my first "recorder". So great - my parents were probably annoyed to death by it though...

Anyway, I know my "career interest" seems to change on a weekly basis. There's just so many things that interest me! Therefore, I'm using this as a sort of sounding board. Maybe I'll eventually land on something. But I love it when some sort of new interest is sparked - so thanks Smith. Thanks for reminding me of the funness (and yes, I've made that a word) that children can bring, and keeping an open mind to a possible future working with kids.

soul junction

soul.juntion

Check it out. It's a blogging community composed of myself, just.in, dave, j.cav, and kfinn. We're not entirely sure where it's going to go, but we thought it'd be cool to go together. so take a spin.

"I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." - the Killers

lost

Ok, so I was waiting for kay.do or drew.brown to post on the show "Lost" first, but, well, neither one of them are on the ball. So, I am going to stop waiting, and write about it myself.

This will just be an introductory post... I haven't really written any major spoilers, but other people might give stuff away. SO IF YOUR NAME IS DREW BROWN - IF YOU'RE READING THIS AND YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED ANY FROM SEASON TWO YET, STOP READING! AND GO WATCH THEM ON KAYDO'S TIVO! And if you're not named Drew Brown, but you haven't watched any of the 2nd season, that goes for you too.

So, if there are any of you out there who are Lost fans, and have been watching it so far, what do you think of the following?

- The theory that they are in purgatory
- Desmond's role
- Walt: real, or ghost?
- "The Others" - good or evil?
- What the "experiment" is all about?
- Will Locke's dad somehow play into it?
- AND WHAT THE HECK IS WITH JIN?

These are just a few of my ponderings... I'd love to know who out there is a fan, and theorizing with the rest of us geeks.

poll

Well, I've decided to close the poll... It's been at the same number of votes for a while now. It looks like it's a tie between those who say they don't care what I do with regards to posting about music, and those who say they like the integration. So, music will remain a good portion of my blogging experince on this here rain of wonder blog! I'm kind of glad, to be honest with you... I like having all sorts of random stuff on my blog, and taking away the music element would make it feel off balanced or something. At least, to me it would.

So for now, the music stays. No new music blog.
That having been said, coming soon: Augustana, David Crowder, and Matisyahu

music blog

I was having a conversation with my brother, and I was telling him that I feel bad for the amount of blog space I use to write about music. He suggested the idea of starting a seperate music blog for people who were interested in my musical musings. So, I thought about it, and it sounded like kind of a good idea. I do however, like the fact that I write about a mixture of things on this blog, and wondered if it might be lacking a little if I take the music element out of it. Bottom line - I don't know what to do.

So, here's where you come into play. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Below is a poll... You can vote and let me know what you think about a seperate music blog. Let the voting begin...

I like hearing your thoughts...

coloring

This post is sort of inspired by a post found on Justin's blog (see link to the right). He wrote a post about the purpose of white crayons. However, this initial conversation turned into another conversation about coloring in general. Amidst the comments was the question, "Who still colors?"

Well, I would just like to that I still have appreciation for this child-like artform. In fact, it wasn't more than 2 or 3 weeks ago, that while waiting to talk to a friend who is a barista at good old Sbux, my friend and I engaged in a coloring contest. Granted, we didn't have much to work with. The only books that were there were Barney coloring books, and we had these monsterous crayons to try to color with (it's no wonder kids can't stay in the lines - these crayons were gianormous!) Anyway, I cannot even tell you how much fun I had. Despite the fact that my friend and I were hurling insults at one another as to who's picture was better (side note: mine won), I haven't had that much fun in a long time. I have such great memories of coloring from when I was little, and it definitely has not lost it's fun as an adult. I do believe, that I shall have to make a regular occurence of coloring. It was so relaxing, and so much fun. You should try it!

But this then led me to think about other things that are child-like in nature that as an adult I still enjoy. Swings, as I have mentioned before. Night games... I know that being 25, I should probably not like running around in the dark, with dark clothes on, reaking of bug spray, hiding in trees, about to pee my pants from nervousness and excitement mixed together, and chasing after people who are trying to capture my flag, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for night games. Maybe I'm just destined to continue working with students so I get to keep playing games like Capture the Flag and Kick the Can - cause I love to play them!

Let's just say, I can't wait to have kids!

So how about you guys? Any child-like things you still engage in and find fun as an adult? Chutes-n-Ladders anyone?

the bus

Anxiety and panic are nothing new to me. I get completely anxious about exams, I get really panicky when it comes to meeting new people (even though I don't usually let it get in the way of meeting new people) I get nervous about giving speeches, and there are other things I could list... But today, today I experience one of the most panicky situations I've experienced in a long time... It's going to sound kind of silly now, but at the time, it seemed oh-so-real.

I was on my way to school this afternoon. The weather was pretty crappy as it has been the past couple of days - lots of rain, lots of gray. As I got closer to Milwaukee, I reached the section of I-94 where it begins to split off into all the other major freeways, typically a high traffic area. Today my side of the freeway was pretty clear, however, the other side was totally jammed. I was right by the Marquette exit, when I looked on the other side of the freeway and saw a bus pulled over on the side of the road with cop cars behind it and along side it. Now, normally a bus on the side of the road wouldn't bother me THAT much, but today, it freaked me out! As I passed the bus, I looked at the windows, and there stood all these little kids with their hands up on the glass. They had such worried little faces, and there were so many of them! All of a sudden, 8 million thoughts ran through my head - ridiculous thoughts - what if there's a hold up on the bus? What if there's a bomb on the bus? What if something is seriously wrong and all those little kids are in danger? My heart dropped for a moment... I never felt such a surge of urgency in my life. The odd thing is, it was probably just a flat tire, or an overheated/stalled engine, or something silly. The police officers didn't seem too concerned. There wasn't anything on the radio (trust me, I checked all the traffic stations). It didn't make the news tonight.

So what actually happened with that bus? Why did I get so panicky, flipping through every station possible to see if I could find out what happened? Did I really want to know what happened? How did my anxiety go from 0-90 in like 2.2 seconds? And where was my faith that God had it under control?

For some reason, the phrase, "Just trust in God." has almost sounded cliche to me lately. How bad is that? The being in whom I entrust my entire life with, I can't even say that I do or should trust him. But for some reason, when there's a tough situation, and someone says, "Just trust in God" it just sounds like we can just sit back and not do anything. That just because God is in control, we can sit passively by until he figures it out and lets us in on the plan. I don't know that I believe this to be true. Do I believe God is in control? Yes. But do I believe in the word "just"? No. Most definitely not.

I do not by any means have this mastered... heck no. Sometimes, I find myself going in the opposite direction. I am TOO proactive, and forget about who it is that's at work (or trying to be at work) in me... Sometimes I'm too prideful/selfish/blind to see that God's like, "Oh hey, remember me? The one who can give you strength? Wisdom? Guidance?" However, this phrase "Just trust in God". I hear it so much, that often times, it makes me cringe.

Anyway, I decided when I was about 5 minutes away from the bus that there was nothing I could do. Obviously, the police had it under control. It's not like I could just pull up and say to a cop, "Hello. I'm Tory Dolan. What seems to be the problem here?" I'm sure they had it under control. And I had to just let it go, or I would continue to be anxious the rest of the day. But for whatever reason it made me start thinking of this idea of letting go vs. passivity, and passivity vs. activism. Knowing when the situation is indeed completely out of your hands that really all you can do is trust in God, or whether it's a cop out... Pushing, fighting, figuring it out is too hard, and so you therefore JUST TRUST IN GOD, instead of coming along side God and working through it with his help, you know?

Those were just a few of the thoughts that formulated after the bus experience today. It kind of started me thinking about the idea of what is within my means to act on, and when I just need to relinquish it to God... Any thoughts out there on this? I don't think it's a cut and dry issue, but I'm just curious if you guys have ever felt that struggle between the two. When am I just giving up and not putting for the effort, and when is it that God is calling me to let go? Let me know if you have any thoughts. I'd be interested in hearing them.

raindance

Raindances are often needed, and most definitely welcomed. Typically, I'd be all over a raindance - playing in the rain is one of my favorite things to do! But during the storm we had a few days ago, I decided to capture some of the joy tha comes from raindances. The above picture is a picture of the fabulous Jo giggling as the rain started to come down harder. I love it when it rains...

(p.s. - you can see the rest of my "raindance" pictures and other fun & random pictures at the link that says "my pics")

delicate mix

I realize that I tend to write about music way more than I should... But what can I say? It's a huge part of my life. I will write a non-music related post after this one, but I wanted to post my current play list, as I'm pretty excited about it. It's got a lot of mellow music, a lot of piano, and some great vocals... So here it is folks...

The Delicate Mix

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
Drugs or Me (new mix) - Jimmy Eat World
Never Leave Alone Your Heart - Butterfly Boucher (thanks Sarah!)
How To Save A Life - The Fray (Thanks Kyle!)
Boston - Augustana
Honestly - Cary Brothers
Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
Delicate - Damien Rice
Beautiful Man - Lori McKenna (Thanks Zach!)
Silent All These Years - Tori Amos
Chances - Athlete
Face Down - Katie Todd Band
Bedshaped - Keane
I Know You Are But What Am I? - Mogwai
Saeglópur - Sigur Ros

If you haven't heard the new Jimmy Eat World EP with the "Drugs or Me" new mix on there, check it out - it's an awesome EP. Boston by Augustana is becoming one of my favorite songs, and my friend Kyle introduced me to "The Fray" which I will have to check more in depth in the near future. But for now, this is what I'm listening to... and rather enjoying it.

3ps

My brother and sister-in-law were home the past couple of days. My dad had to go into the hospital and so they came home just to "check in" on things. However, the couple days they were here proved for some very interesting conversation about purgatory, personality, and passion.

Purgatory. I know, that sounds like a weird conversation topic given the fact that I'm Protestant. However, the conversation revolved the topic of the show Lost. I'm not sure how many of you watch Lost, but it is a new found favorite with the Illinois Dolans, and I'm a bit of a fan myself. I initially started watching it because of Dominic Monaghan (I know, I'm a geek - don't mock me). Initially, I was pretty turned off by the show - felt it was pretty cheesy. However, as the season went on, I slowly regained an intrigue, and started watching again. The season finale left me one frustrated girl. My brother and his wife watched the DVDs just recently, and are completely hooked. So, while they were home, we talked about the different theories that are floating about, and we landed upon the theory that the survivors on the island are actually in purgatory. We don't necessarily think this is the true theory, but we decided to discuss the possibilities of it. It lead for some VERY interesting conversation, only for us to ask "Wait, is that a part of purgatory?" quite often. I find it funny that a lot of our conversation revolved around Lost and this idea of purgatory... But we're hooked, that's for sure... Kelly even has the Lost sting (like, the sound bite thing at the beginning of the show when showing the title) on his iPod. (Don't worry Drew, I haven't crossed into "Lost is better than 24" land).

Personality. Lots of conversation about the enneagram test - a personality test to help understand what your own personality is, as well as how to interact with other personalities. Has anyone else out there taken it? My brother's friend John was the one who originally directed me towards the enneagram test in order to better figure out some relationship stuff, but now my brother and sister-in-law are quite into it, reading a lot, and trying to learn as much as possible about the interworkings of different personalities. I'm a 2, for those of you who care. If you read the description, it's pretty fitting.
I'm not going to put it all here, but one of the sites I went to where you can take a free test is www.9types.com. It's a little different than the book my sister-in-law has on it, but it's still pretty close.

Passions. My sister-in-law and I got into an interesting conversation about what the next year will hold for each of us. She's looking for a new field of work/new job, and I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do once I graduate. I told her that I have been asked quite a bit lately "If you could do anything in the world you wanted - no limitations - what would it be?" Obviously, I really want to be a wife and mom. However, if we're talking career here, I told her (as well as all the other people who have asked me) that I would like to open a children's booksore. I told her I have NO IDEA how to go about doing that, but it incorporates SO many of my passions - kids, literature, art, etc. I have so may ideas of what it would be like, and what I would do with it - but no idea where to start. She and I had an awesome conversation about the steps necessary to get to where you want to go. Even though I have no further ideas as to how I'm going to get there, she made it sound so possible. So who knows... 5 years from now, I may be known as "Tory Dolan - Bookstore Owner", not just "Tory Dolan - Girl who blogs about how much she'd like to open a bookstore."

Anyway, those were some of my thoughts over the past couple of days. I've actually had a TON more - especially about my dad and hurricane Rita, however, they're not the most uplifting thoughts so I thought I'd spare you and write about three things that I find really interesting right now.

Sorry this isn't the most exciting or witty post... They can't all be winners though now, can they?
Rock on until later, my friends.

Bob Appreciation

I was sharing stories about one of my favorite Bobs. To the friend I was sharing with, I said, “Yeah, and he’s just one of a few really great Bobs.” She was unaware of just how many amazing Bobs there are in the world. I’m thinking maybe, just maybe, you have not thought of this either. If given time, you may be able to come up with a good list. But to help you with that process, and to spur you on towards your own “Bob Appreciation Day”, I will give you my list of “top Bobs”.



I will begin with one of my favorites – Bob Ross. He is the man who inspired this entire post (non-sense though it may be), and has inspired many across the globe to paint masterpieces. His painting skills are not limited to but strongly include mountains and trees. Mountains and trees. That is what I remember most about his paintings. Mountains and trees. And he had this sort of soothing voice as he instructed you how to paint mountains and trees. He made you feel like, you, yes you, could paint a masterpiece like his. I loved him. He was great. And that hair…



Speaking of hair, we’ll move on to our next Bob. Bobcat Goldthwait. My first knowledge of him was watching The Police Academy 2, which we had taped off TV and I watched it over and over and over again. As a small child, his voice and quirky mannerisms made me laugh. As a grown adult, it makes me uncomfortable. However, I have fond memories of watching Police Academy 2, and therefore, he made the list.



Bob Barker. I watched The Price is Right constantly as a kid. My friend Leah and I were bound and determined to get on that show as adults. Granted, Bob has kind of a sketchy real-life character, but the guy I knew when I was little watching that show – he was amazing. He’d give you stuff. A washer and dryer. A car. A trip to Italy. All you had to do was answer his question correctly, and YOU WIN! How easy could that be? Yet people seemed so confused, and lost a lot. But he had compassion for them, and sent them on to spin the wheel for a second chance. Bob Barker was a friend to all…



Speaking of friends to all – Bob Guiney. Now, you might all make fun of me for this one, but I have a soft spot in my heart for Bob Guiney. Yes, he pined for the Bachelorette. Yes, he kissed a boatload of girls when he became the Bachelor. No, neither of those situations worked out for him. And yes, he’s riding on the “reality show” success. But come on – that laugh? How can you not giggle when you hear him laugh? And he’s got a killer smile, you have to admit… Who knows, maybe I’m just a sucker for the curls and the dimples…



Bob Saget. I’m talking Danny Tanner style here folks – another show (Full House) that was on the TV a bit when I was little… a show my mother wishes never existed. Anyway, Bob Saget amazes me, really he does. Do I think he’s an amazing actor? Not particularily. But this man has had his hand in so many projects, has quite the list of accomplishments, and seems to show up in so many different places. Plus, the guy is still doing stand up comedy which the Olsen Twins frequent on a regular basis – that’s gotta say something, right?



Speaking of accomplishments… This guy takes the cake. Bob Dylan. I’m not even sure what I can say about Bob Dylan. I’ve never really gotten into his music, but that man is pretty stinkin’ talented. He is one of the great “Bobs” of all time, and definitely deserved to be on this list.



Bob the Builder. I couldn’t forget him. What an adorable cartoon! Um, that’s basically the only reason he made the list… And, well, he builds things. That’s a definite qualifier…



Last but definitely not least, Bob Sportsmonsfraggger. Who is Bob Sportsmonsfraggger, you ask? Well, even if you didn’t ask, I’m going to tell you. Bob is kind, has a passion for high school students, and even though he can be a tad creepy at times (ok, VERY creepy) he has a good heart and a good message. He brings us the truth of the Bible and encourages us in our walk with God by singing pop songs we all know and love, making it easier for us to know and understand the truths. Like, “Read My Bible One More Time” sung to Brittney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. He also tells us reasons to not have premarital sex. In the words of Bob, “I don’t want a baby, how ‘bout you? NO WAY!” A man who loves his mother, a man who survived malaria, and a man who can wear glasses without the lenses actually being in the frames – Bob is a true inspiration, and an example of how to live life. Thank you Bob, for everything you and everything you stand for (except your decisions regarding fashion).

There are many more “Bobs” that didn’t make this list, but are still important… I hope this has brought more Bobs to your attention on this here Bob Appreciation Day. So encourage your local Bob. (B. Sliw – I love you man – you rock, and I miss seeing you! I appreciate you on this Bob Appreciation Day). Rock on for the all Bobs we’ve come to know and love.

anticipation

I spent the day soaking in the sunshine and enjoying the crazy wind as it danced off Lake Michigan. The atmosphere was fantastic. Blue sky with killer clouds, wind that makes you shiver but allows you to vascillate between the warmth of the sun and it's own coldness, and people chillin' everywhere... It was one of the last days of summer, and people were soaking in every last bit of it.

As the summer draws to a close, I find myself in great anticipation of fall. I just finished reading the post of a good friend of mine, where she also describes the joys of fall. I adore fall... It is one of my favorite seasons. As much as I tend to curse the midwest, deeply desiring to live in a place with more consistent weather, the ocean, and well, let's just say it, NO SNOW, I must say that the season of fall is a definite perk to living in Wisconsin. And I believe part of my love for fall has to do with such great childhood memories.

I can remember going to Elegant Farmer as a kid, and picking apples with my mom and dad (that's me and my dad above). They had ladders and everything that you could climb, and for a 5 year old, the place looked HUGE, with orchards just waiting to be explored. After picking bags of fresh apples, you could then head to a little stand to create your own carmel apple, complete with whatever other toppings you'd like. A child's version of paradise! So great. There were also pumpkin patches, though I don't remember doing that much as a kid. Just great, great memories of cold days, colorful leaves, and apple picking.

Fall... What a great color on God's pallete...

people who blog

You can't see me. I'm doing the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" dance. Here's why...

When I first started blogging, there were few other people I knew who had one. My brother was the first one I knew to enter the world of blogging, and he's the one who got me hooked. I remember when he first started it, I was like, "GEEK! GEEK!" endlessly taunting him. I did. I thought it was geeky. However, the more I read his blog, the more I wanted one. When I decided to take a road trip out to California, I thought it'd be cool to keep a journal along the way. Keeping a journal was not a new discipline for me, and a road trip would definitely provide good material. But then I thought, hey, what if people could travel with me? What if I could write from the road what kinds of things I was doing, thinking about, and experiencing for anyone who wanted to read it. That's when I decided to start my blog... and the phenomenon has stuck.

Here I am, like, a year and a half later, still blogging. I'm not sure why I'm so addicted to the idea. I know that when I started to write for Relevant Magazine and it seemed more people were reading my blog, I got even more excited to write.

But I want to spend a minute on talking about OTHER people who blog. Like I said, when I first started this whole thing, my brother was pretty much the only person I knew who had one. Shortly thereafter, he had a few links to other people who had blogs. I spent much of my time reading my brother's blog, and his friend's blogs. No one in my sphere of friends had one, so I spent most of my time reading theirs. Slowly but surely, more and more of my friends got into the idea of having a blog. One by one, they started to leave behind the same train of thought that I had about it being geeky, and give into the idea that it is an awesome creative outlet.

All of that being said, I would just like to welcome all of my friends who have recently decided that blogging would be a cool thing to do. I would just like to say that I still think this whole thing is a stellar idea, even though there are still some kinks to be worked out. I would just like to say, I love reading what is going on in each one of your lives.

Can I get a WOOT for people who blog?

playlist

Ok folks... A while back, I had posted a project that I wanted to try. My goal was to get ONE song suggestion from anybody who ever reads this blog to add to a "bloggers" playlist. I got a pretty good response, and have a decent playlist. It is as follows:

Sparks - Royksopp (suggested by Dave)
8:16am - 311 - (suggested by Justin)
Fire in the Head - Tea Party (suggested by Chris)
When The Dawn Breaks - Narcotic Thrust (suggested by Coloratura)
In Red - Lovedrug - (suggested by Joel)
The Trapeze Swinger - Iron & Wine (suggested by Kristy)
Someday - Nicole Nordeman (suggested by Katy)
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie (suggested by Parke)
Superman - Five For Fighting (New Album version) (suggested by Tom)
Solar System - Vigilantes of Love (suggested by Kim)
Listening to Otis Redding at Home during Christmas - Okkervil River (suggested by Scott)
Good Times - Edie Brickell (suggested by Odis)

Now, if I've missed your song, please forgive me and feel free to repost it. I am still taking suggestions (from people who HAVEN'T posted a song yet... yes, that means you can't post another song, Chris...). As you can see, I have a pretty good start to a playlist, but could use a few more. SO YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE! Hahaha...

Anyway, I'd like to thank those of you who DID contribute to this little project of mine. I rather enjoyed it, and I think I only know one song on the list. There's a wide variety of sounds listed here too... So thanks one and all for posting! I'll have to do another one sometime soon. Maybe a themed one or something.

Rock on my friends.

THWACIIW

(I think I'm addicted to using visual aids in my posts)

I love childrens books. It doesn't matter what age the book is for, if it's "young at heart" I love it! This may sound simplistic or adolescent, or whatever other big word you want to come up with for it... But I love them! As I've mentioned before, if I had the opportunity, skill, knowledge (and money) to open a children's bookstore, I'd be all over it! One of my favorites as I have mentioned before is "Click Clack Moo - Cows that Type". Others on the list include "The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish" (the edition I have has amazing illustrations), and "The Voice". "James and the Giant Peach" - loved it. Chronicles of Narnia - currently making my way through them. Nancy Drew books - I'm collecting the new, old hardcover versions of them (they're new, but they're in the old school style).

However, this book - The House With A Clock In It's Wall - I had completely forgetten about until just recently. In fact, I can't even remember what made me think of it, to be honest with you. But it came to mind the other day, and I decided I had to hunt down a copy. I can remember reading it as a kid (I was probably 10 or 11) and I can even tell you to this day exactly where it was located in the library. I remember when I was little thinking the cover was SO creepy that it had to be a good book. I remember reading it over and over and over again. The funny thing is? I don't remember any of the story, except for the obvious fact that there is a house, with a clock in it's walls.

I tried to hunt down this exact version (as shown above), but alas, I've only found newly designed books. I did find one copy of the old one on ebay, but it wasn't really worth it to me to go through the hassle of getting this version of the book. I did however, find a "best of John Bellairs" book at B&N, and decided to pick it up. Now, if only I could find time among my 4 novel-focused classes to read it!

Anyway, just a little nostalgia for you all this evening... I watched "American Graffiti" as a form of nostalgia today in my pop culture studies class, and I guess the nostalgia stuck with me the rest of the day...

lament

Let us take a moment of silence in lament... Lament over the fact that Sigur Ros' show in Madison is sold out. SOLD OUT! They're all the way from Iceland - not too often that they're here - and the show is sold out! AH! I'm SO not a happy camper about this! I was totally stoked to get to see them (provided I actually find someone to go with). They would be such an amazing band to see live... I would imagine a very magical evening in which I slept very, very well afterwards (they're music tends to put me to sleep - but in a good way!) But alas, I will not get to witness the magic that is Sigur Ros. I will have to wait again until they make the journey from Iceland to the States. I know you can't see my face, but I am pouting a great deal.

Ah well... Such is life.

I did pick up their new album tonight (as show above), along with Athlete's newest album (finally!), and an album by Neutral Milk Hotel (thanks to Jeff for the suggestion!) There are so many albums out right now that I totally want to purchase! New Death Cab For Cutie (I can't believe I actually haven't picked that up yet!), new David Gray, the soundtrack for Elizabethtown (I'm so excited to see Eastmountainsouth getting some exposure), and 30 Seconds To Mars has a new album out (I'm not super excited about it, but I have their first one and I'd be interested in hearing the second one). There were other ones I coveted as well as I was scouring the shelves at The Exclusive Co. However, the buck's gotta stop somewhere... couldn't buy them all. Slowly, I'm sure I'll accumulate more music than necessary. What can I say, I'm a music nut...

Still lamenting my Sigur Ros misfortune...

thoughts

The past year has been an interesting rollercoaster of many emotions. Some of you know the story of the past year of my life, and all of it's intricate parts, and the ups and downs that go with it. Some of you don't. But no matter what the case, I've made a few observations that I'd like to share with you. These are not exclusive to my own journey as I'm sure quite a few of you have experienced this as well, and these are definitely not NEW observations - a lot of these are basic "duhs" of life, yet so easily forgotten.

1.) Anger is easier than grace. Grace sounds like such a magical term to me. It sounds like this beautiful, far-off promised land where things are right and true... Where wounds can be healed, relationships mended, and journies continued. But you know what? Traveling to this far-off promised land promises only one thing - hills, valleys, roads under construction, potholes, severe weather - you name it, you'll see it. But anger, anger is like a house... The reason I say this is I think about days when there is bad weather, or I know I have to drive through road construction. What would I rather do? Stay in my little house and pout about it. I'd rather stay inside, and talk about how I wish the gas prices were lower, how I wish it wasn't raining, and that I didn't have to go 10 minutes on a detour. But you know what? I never reach my destination doing that. I never can fully enjoy where it is that I wanted to go because I never went. Instead, I stay in my house, mad. And I think that's how it is with anger and grace. Grace requires the tough, treacherous road. It's not easy. It requires some pain & pride being swallowed. But unless that road is taken, you can never fully experience the promised land of grace. Instead, you'll be sitting in your house, wishing you had grace, and making every annoyance out of the path to it.

2.) We hurt most the ones we love the most. I remember back in high school, listening to a live Counting Crows album. There's a song that's never been released on a studio album called "Chelsea" that I instantly fell in love with, and would listen to a great deal. There is a line in the song that goes "The things I do to people I love shouldn't be allowed." I remember at the time, being a naive 16 year old, and thinking to myself, I wonder what he's referring to. I wonder what terrible things he's done, and why he's done them to the people he loves. But this line has never resonated more with me than it has in the past year. Often times I wonder why the ones I love the most, the ones I would lay everything down for the, the ones I would travel to the ends of the earth for, are the ones I tend to hurt the most. Most often, I think it's because they're the most forgiving. Most often it's because I don't think I have the possibility of losing them, so my actions won't have any detrimental ramifications. Absolutely an incorrect assumption, and it definitely has ramifications.

3.) Change is good. Some of you know, I'm a sentimental sap. I like to hang on to just about anything because it has memory and meaning behind it. I mean, I got pouty when we got rid of our front door because the sound of the spring screeching would no longer be there. That spring brings back so many memories of my brother and I darting in and out of the door during the summers. It's a sound that indicated someone coming home. I loved that sound. And I got all sappy about our front door taken away. How sad is that? Anyway, that will give you a little framework for where I'm coming from. I don't let go easily. To memories, to places, to objects, to people, to relationships. And I've had to readjust my life this past year as I've had to let go of a lot of things. But it's good. Moving ahead is good. We wouldn't be where we are now if our ancestors had said, "We like to walk, let's forget the wheel." or "Photographs of people will suffice... They don't need to be moving pictures." What if Martin Luther had never made the change in his life that he did? Change is good... It is. And I'm learning that. I'm no Martin Luther, that's for sure. But change is inevitable, and I'm learning to roll with the punches. Granted, sometimes I let those punches take a sucker shot to the stomach, and then gripe about it. But it's a learning process none the less.

These are just a few of the thoughts I've been having recently, and felt like sharing. I know they're pretty vague for those of you who don't know me super well, and that those of you who DO know me well probably know what sorts of things I'm referring to. But it doesn't matter what I'm referring to. These are situations that happen all the time - with everyone. Situations to choose anger over grace, to hurt those we love, and to accept or deny change. I didn't want to write about specific events because these situations are continuos for me. Everyday, I have to make these decisions. Every day I need to decide what kind of person I want to be. Every day I need to learn what humility and love really looks like in human form. And every day, I fall down and pick myself back up again. It's a continuous journey...