a letter

Dear Friend,

I am writing to you because I have not been myself lately. My words, my actions, my thoughts, my speech... all of these things have not reflected the person I want to be. I have reflected a spirit of hate, of hostility, of frustration, of hurt, and of vengeance. These are not things I wish to possess. But alas, it is the place I find myself in. I have allowed my tongue to control me, I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me... And you, my dear friend, have taken the hit. You have been the one that has been deeply wounded by my actions. You are the one who hears the angry roars and the evil whispers that escape from my mouth. You have been the one to give, and give, and give... when all I do is take, and take, and take - never giving back. You have put forth 110% effort to build our relationship, to encourage me, and strengthen me. You have given me a vision and passion... which I have bypassed for temporary gratification found through petty and selfish behavior. You are the one I have been inconsistent with, despite your undeniable loyalty. You are the one who I talk big about, but show little to nothing in action. You are the one who walks by my side day in and day out, whether I recognize it or not. And your continued patience... it astounds me, really. I would have given up on me years ago... But you didn't. You stuck it out. You waited and are waiting to see what I can become. You're waiting to see what decisions I make. You're waiting to see if maybe - just maybe - someday I'll turn the tables and respect you in the way you deserve. You're waiting for me to recognize just who exactly it is you created me to be, and what you created me for. You were there in the beginning, and you'll be there in the end... No one else can say that but you.

Dear friend, I write this to you tonight to let you know that I want the tables to turn. I want to put forth the effort. I want to change. I want to grow. I want to become more... well, more like you. But I need your patience, your grace, your strength, and every ounce of wisdom you can pour into me. I need you to continue being who you are, and I need you to change me. Thank you for who you are... Your friendship is worth more than my small words can ever give measure to. I love you, dear friend. Thanks... for everything.

Sincerely,

Tory Jane