on writing

The act of writing is interesting to me. I have so many odd quirks when it comes to writing. I've been thinking about it the past couple of days. Here are a couple of my musings...

Space is everything.

I am totally and completely spacially oriented. Some may go as far as saying I'm obsessive compulsive about it. But space - in every way - is so very important to me. I make sure I have enough space to spread out when I am in a cafe, or, if the cafe is crowded, I make sure I have a corner where I can tuck myself in. I also have to be facing a very specific direction. For those of you that have dined with me, you will know that I usually pick the seat that faces the most amount of open space. Usually, I will aim to have either my back or side against a wall, and I usually try to face the door, or at least the front counter. I'm not necessarily concerned about needing to know where the exits are, but I need to be able to see the majority of the space I am occupying. Lighting is also another deal maker or breaker for me. I absolutely HATE flourescent light, and I love rooms that are lit by natural light. However, there is another element of "space" that is really hard to explain...but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting here at my parents house, the place I grew up and the place I lived until 3 weeks ago. I've written many a blog entry in this house. However, I am sitting at my mom's computer, in my mom's room, and in a house that is no longer my main place of occupancy. For whatever reason, this is causing a huge creative block in my brain. I find it extremely difficult to think creatively (hence a post on writing). Another example of this - I sat outside during my lunch hour today. I work downtown Milwaukee, and our building is right on the Riverwalk. So, I picked up my Potbelly sandwich, headed over to the river walk with journal and iPod in hand... the wind was blowing, the sun was shining, people all around me, huge, historic buildings towering over me... and nothing. Absolutely nothing came. All I could do was daydream, and wonder why the woman sitting behind me clipping her nails had to sit RIGHT behind me, and not on one of the 8 other benches that were open around us.

Space and comfort are everything when it comes to writing... well, mostly everything.

A phrase escaped me today that surprised me little bit. I had sent an email to someone telling them that often times, it is quite easy for me to spill all of my thoughts out in an email, even if I don't know the person I'm emailing all that well. The person responded by telling me the opposite is true for them. I then answered with the following phrase: "I often show great courage through written word, when really I'm just cowering behind a screen/pen & paper." I didn't really realize how true that is of me until I wrote that. But it's so incredibly true.

Often times, I write about the things I am learning, or the things I'm experiencing, and I express them with an attitude of confidence - as if I've got it figured out. I've written about this before - how writing often gives me some sort of false confidence simply because I don't have to deal with the immediate response. But in some ways, written words are more detrimental, harder to take back. With written words, you don't have the excuse of not having "thought it out." Written words seem so much more, well, permanent. And that's scary... I don't know how many of my words I want imortalized.

Anyway, those are my random Monday night thoughts on writing. I wish I had something more profound, something more creative to write. But I've been reading a lot and hoping to write so much more, I'm just not there yet. These were the few thoughts that came to my head today about the topic of writing.

I do hope to write more. Both old school and new school style. I miss my computer. But, I think my pen and journal are happy it's gone for the time being.