significance

I've been struggling lately with the idea of significance. It's an interesting concept to me, this idea of "being important." And I'm not just talking about "Am I important?" but rather, wondering what makes something important and significant.

Follow me if you will, down this little rabbit trail of thought...

The world is painted with hierarchies... Every where you look, there is some natural order of importance. In the workplace, there are employees, who have supervisors or bosses, who also have supervisors or bosses, until we get all the way up to the president - the top dog of the company. He's the decision maker, the idea man, and everyone looks to him for the answers. At church, there are your average church goers, and then there are deacons/elders and then there is the pastor. School's are even structured with this sort of top-dog mentality. Take a look at any high school and you'll see the seniors dominating, and the freshmen getting stuffed into lockers. Everywhere you look, there's some sort of order of importance.

I've seen this spill over into my own thoughts about life, and in trying to figure out what is important, and what should be dismissed as insignificant. For example... Let's say I get into a car accident (please know, this is COMPLETELY hypothetical). I'm fine, but my car is pretty messed up. This rocks my world a bit as it puts a huge financial strain on my life. It seems significant to me because in the realm of my own experiences, it is a hardship. However, if I were to compare it with the hardships of someone let's say living in Darfur, or who was a victim of the tsunami we had a few years ago, or someone who is homeless, or parentless... My situation seems insignificant and unimportant. It is just a car - just a possession that can be replaced. Should I really be that concerned about it? Should it cause me as much stress and anxiety as it does? Am I being ridiculous for feeling the way I do?

I struggle with this idea of significance because of the hierarchies that exist all over the world... Someone, somewhere, in some time will always have a situation that is worse off than mine - I am pretty sure I will never be at the bottom of the totem pole. However, where does that leave me? How much am I allowed to validate my feelings towards a situaion? Where does one draw the line between valuable and insignificant?

I think there is a lot of guilt that comes with emotions. I also think that religious people have added a great deal to this mentality. I can remember growing up, always feeling pressured to have a smile on my face, and be ready to answer with "I'm great." Just recently, a co-worker of mine answered my "How are you doing?" question with that very answer. I looked at him and said, "Don't lie. It's ok to say you're not ok. You don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear." Another interaction I had was with a 5 year old little girl who was sad that her cousin got a birthday present and she didn't. We needed to encourage her to not throw a fit, but I refused to tell her she couldn't be sad. In fact, I assured her that it was ok to be sad, but that her actions needed to look a little different.

I think so often, we're asked to push past our emotions, and begin the healing process without really ever sorting them out. I'm not sure we even know HOW to sort them out. I know so many people who go to counseling because they've never really been tought how to sort out their emotions. I've never really been taught how to sort out my emotions. And I also think there is a lot of pressure to devalidate our struggles and trials simply because they do not match the dire situations a portion of the world finds themselves in.

I've come to this point in my life where there are a LOT of things going on in my head and my heart, and I'm not quite sure what to do with them. I'm trying to sort out the significant from the insignifcant, and trying to figure out what's valid and what isn't.

Even this blog post...significant, or just some ridiculous ramblings?