help

The title of my post makes me think of the Beatles song "Help," and I must say, it's quite fitting in multiple ways.

Why is it that so often, I can't get my actions to match my words, or even what I am thinking about? Why is it that taking action seems so hard?

I realize I've written a lot about this lately. What can I say? I've had numerous conversations about this recently, and you can see from my blog posts throughout the past couple of months that I've really been wrestling with a lot of social issues. So bear with me as I continue to wrestle and talk through some of this. I've noticed how easy it has become to TALK about social issues - to talk about compassion - and yet, for whatever reason, not get myself to actually do anything about it.

It should not be this way.

If love, compassion, and change was what really compelled me, I wouldn't even have to think about it, right? If I am really, truly living the way Jesus wants me to, I'd like to think I wouldn't have to put forth so much effort - wouldn't it just come naturally?

I know that as humans, we have tendencies to be selfish. We have tendencies to want to be comfortable, in control, and safe. However, I know individuals who are shattering that mold. Individuals who seem to be living out what they're saying, and they seem to be doing it effortlessly. And my question is - how do I get there from where I am - where it seems it's always a conscious thing, never acting purely out of love and compassion, but rather a mixture of those with guilt. How do I get to a place where my efforts towards change come out of pure passion and effortless devotion?

Any ideas?

Is passion something you either have or don't have, or is it something you can cultivate? Is it something that the more you make an effort, the less of an effort it will become over time? I don't know... All I know is that in my brain, and in my words, I seem to be saying, "I want to help people." But what do I do on a daily basis that actually reflects that? And what are my motives for wanting to help people? To feel better about myself, or because I genuinely love and care for them?

Maybe I'm the one that needs help!