2

Some of you may know that I have an immense interest in learning about personality types, gifts, birth order, etc. (there are times where I think I should have been a psychology major). A while back, a friend of my brother's sent me to a website to take what is called an Enneagram test - which is basically just a personality test. At Thanksgiving, my brother, sister-in-law, and her family got into a discussion about our results. My sister-in-law is a 7, which by nature is extremely proud of being that number. When I explained to her that my not being proud of being a 2 came from actually BEING a 2, it launched us into an even more interesting conversation.

With trying to figure out what I want to do once I finally finish school this May, I have been exploring some of these things further. What kind of a personality do I have and where would it best fit? What are my gifts? What are my passions? What sorts of things will help me? Hinder me? As I thought about all of these things, I decided to revisit the whole Enneagram thing, and found some very interesting descriptions. I thought I would share some of them with you because it's unbearably accurate, but still REALLY interesting... Well, at least to me... If it's not interesting to you... well, you can just stop reading any time your little heart desires.

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the profile for an
Enneagram #2: The Helper
(found at www.9types.com)

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me
- Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will try to focus on yours.
- Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships
- Reassure me that I am intersting to you.
- Reassure me often that you love me.
- Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be with me.

What I Like About Being a Two
- being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- knowing what people need and making their lives better
- being generous, caring, and warm
- being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
- being enthusiastic and fun-loving; a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Two
- not being able to say no
- having low self-esteem
- feeling drained from overdoing for others
- not doing things I like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- being upset that others don't tune in to me as I do them
- working hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my feelings

Twos as Children Often
- are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- try hard to please parents by being helpful and understanding
- are outwardly compliant
- are popular or try to be popular with other children
- act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)

Twos as Parents
- are good listeners
- love their children unconditionally
- are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
- are often playful with their children
- wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
- can become fiercely protective

Here's the "cycle" of a 2:

Need to be loved -> help others -> loved -> Need to be loved

In the healthy state, the need to be loved induces Type Twos to help others which causes them to be loved. When Twos feel loved, the need is satisfied and a balance is reached.

In the average state, when Twos' are not helping others and are not loved, the need to be loved increases, which helps Twos to again reach out and help others. Thus the balancing loop can help Twos to recover.

Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear: Fear of being unloved -> resent and manipulate others -> loved -> Fear of being unloved

In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being unloved can cause Type Twos to feel resentful and try to manipulate others into loving them. This can cause people to love them even less, which further increases Twos' basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.

Insight:
We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to weaken the unhealthy loop. Twos can refrain from manipulating others but start to genuinely help others. This will cause Twos to be loved, and thus reduce the fear of being unloved.


Granted, this is just one perspective, but still, this stuff fascinates me...I think I'll have to further look into this. My sister-in-law gave me a book a while back that I never got around to reading called "The Real You" which is about personality types and birth order. Now that school is almost over, I will have some more time to do a lot of the reading I've wanted to do for a while now.

Should be an interesting study.