catching up

this will be the first of two thoughts today...it seems God does not have limits on how much he chooses to teach you within a day or two...

On catching up...I met with my high school girls small group yesterday. We were small, which initially made me sad. However, you know the verse...Wherever two or three are gathered, God is there...Ok, so that's a bit of a paraphrase, but you get the idea. We talked about all sorts of stuff, when suddenly, it hit me ton of bricks "I've been trying to play catch up." I was talking about my statistics class mostly (which I am currently failing due to my own lack of motivation). However, it seriously hit me - and hit me hard. So often, I don't understand what is going on in my life - just like I have NO CLUE what's going on in statistics. Sometimes, I am baffled by the events and challenges God brings about. I sit there and go, "Well, now what?" God asks me to do my homework...Spend time with Him, pray about it, spend time in the Word, etc. Just like Min Chen says about keeping up with my statistics homework. But I don't understand either of them. So what is the easiest thing to do when you don't understand something? Avoid it - avoid it like you would avoid the plague! However, the ramifications of this avoidance is that, come exam time, one tries to cram it all in, retaining very little, and doing poorly over all. How often do I do this in my walk with God? I believe altogether too often! I don't understand why something exists in my life - whether it be a situation, people, sin issue, challenge, struggle - whatever label you want to put on it - and I walk away from it entirely - or stuff it down. The problem is, when it becomes imperative to work through the situation, I try to "cram" my way through it, leaving me feeling a sense of urgency followed by failure. Why do we do this? Why do we skimp out on our "homework" when we know the end result is going to be this shallow and skimmed over version of Christianity? I don't know about you, but I believe it's a mixture of laziness and fear. I'm too lazy to work through the issues. I'm too lazy and fearful to deal with the pain that may come with it. So, I avoid it. And then, when push comes to shove, I skim over the material, and end up giving God a half-assed attempt at loving him and following him. Pardon my language - I don't usually use swear words because I think we have a dictionary full of overly flowery words that can be used instead. However, that word just emphasizes the severity I think lies at the heart of this issue. It just seemed to fit. I was thinking about how often we as college students will find excuses as to why we're not doing well in school. I've used the excuse that my teacher doesn't speak English very well. Does that limit me from learning the material on my own, or finding myself a tutor if I don't understand it? Nope. I've heard other students say, "But you make it so hard." However, if you really think about it, how much of it is really on our own shoulders? I had to take a good hard look at the amount of "homework" I've been doing lately, and how often I play this game of catch up. I don't want to play catch up any more. It won't be easy, and it will definitely be a stretch, but I want to learn every day. I want to be filled up every day. I want to be passionate every day. Can I get an Amen? :)

Just some thoughts to chew on.